Posted on 06/20/2005 5:16:51 PM PDT by pissant
Well, I can't speak for anyone else, I can only speak for me. One of my best friends in the world is a woman, and we've been buds ever since we were 9 years old, and we're in our 40's now. Call me silly, but I think would have resented it if a woman I was dating would have insisted I give up a life-long friendship like that. It never would have gotten to marriage, because it would have been such a huge red flag while dating that this woman was just too insecure for marriage.
again, I will repeat what I said, when you're talking about friendships forged in childhood, that's a bit different than friendships forged in adulthood, via the workplace or otherwise.
"Can men and women really be friends or does Sex always get in the way?"
Great thread- really got me thinking. In my case, sex did not get in the way because we got it out of the way. ;)
My best friend for the past 20 years is a woman- we have both
been married in that time (me once, her twice) and always remained very close. Our relationship started in dating mode, and evolved to platonic for the last 18 years. We trust each other and have never hid our friendship from our spouses.
I suppose the reason it has endured is that we got the lust part out of the way (when we were both single, and there was nothing to hide) and now value the non-sexual aspects of our friendship.
Preach it, sista! Though, I am stil surprised to see how many people stay in marriages where they've 'settled', simply becuase its either comfortable, or, they don't want to disappoint their families or loved ones. Talk about a self imposed prison. If you're heart isn't in your marriage, your mind won't be either. And when you settle, you'll always wonder what if.
Your story serves as a great argument that, at the very least, your spouse should be your friend. If a marriage is based solely on physical attraction and sex it will not last. You have to live with this person for the rest of your life, afterall.
That what if? is a bi**h LOL...
Yes, men and women can be just friends. I worked in a male dominated field for years and had many male friends..... never had an incident that crossed the line....never even thought about it! Almost all of them were married, as was I, and our spouses were friendly, though not as close.
That was in my younger days. I don't know if that would be possible today.
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