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31%  
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  • Mensa Sued (Safe and Effective Satire)

    10/12/2023 6:00:59 PM PDT · by RetiredTexasVet · 5 replies
    10/12/23 | RetiredTexasVet
    US Senator John Fetterman caused Mensa to be sued when he announced “You all need to know that America is not sending their best and brightest to Washington, D.C.” White House Paid Liar, Karine Jean-Pierre, filed suit against Mensa for its discriminatory practice of limiting its membership of the best and brightest to the top 2% of IQ scores. This rule relegates 98% of the general public and 100% of black female lesbians to the discriminated class of less than best and brightest. Karine suggested that minorities should be afforded some sort DEI incentive to strengthen the minority representation in...
  • State Department Gouges Citizens (Safe and Effective Satire)

    10/12/2023 2:02:04 PM PDT · by RetiredTexasVet · 6 replies
    10/12/23 | RetiredTexasVet
    The State Department today announced their plan to gouge citizens trapped in Israel. SOS (not Secretary of State) Blinking announced his plan to milk the trapped citizens for every penny he could. Although some have suggested that the US Air Force could provide this service, the new Chairman of the JCS and the Secretary of Defense have noted that the entire US Air Force is on standdown for DEI and Trans Inclusion training for the next two weeks. Blinking stated that his take-it or leave-it pricing of the U. S. cost of aiding citizens to escape Israel would based upon...
  • Buy American (Safe and Effective Satire)

    10/10/2023 3:16:44 PM PDT · by RetiredTexasVet · 3 replies
    10/10/23 | RetiredTexasVet
    The White House has started a "Go Fund Me" page to buy back American hostages held by Hamas. The White House and State Department have stated that they will not pay ransom for Americans taken hostage by foreign actors. However, SOS Blinking stated that a Go Fund Me page is not technically a government action to pay ransom. Blinking stated that they are hoping to raise up to 80 billion dollars to purchase the up to 80 Americans held hostage at the going rate of 1 billion dollars each. Although Oprah is not donating any cash, she stated that she...
  • General Mark "Benedict" Milley Retires (Safe and Effective Satire"

    09/29/2023 3:21:58 PM PDT · by RetiredTexasVet · 16 replies
    9/29/23 | RetiredTexasVet
    General Mark "Benedict" Milley, former Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, retired today. There is much speculation as to Milley's post retirement plans. Some have speculated that he may take a job with one of the defense contractors such as General Dynamics, Raytheon, etc. Others have speculated that a slot as a military expert consultant at left leaning CNN or MSDNC may be in the future. However, anonymous reliable sources, have said with certainty that Milley will take a high ranking position in the Peoples Liberation Army in China. China is spending big bucks and a lot of political...
  • **LIVE** Republican Presidential Debate at Reagan Library - Wednesday 9:00PM EDT

    09/27/2023 2:55:25 PM PDT · by Reno89519 · 500 replies
    FreeRepublic ^ | September 27, 2023 | Reno89519
    Debate Time!9:00 p.m. Eastern.ParticipatingFlorida Gov. Ron DeSantisFormer South Carolina Gov. Nikki HaleySouth Carolina Sen. Tim ScottVivek RamaswamyFormer Vice President Mike PenceFormer New Jersey Gov. Chris ChristieNorth Dakota Gov. Doug Burgum.No ShowFormer President Donald TrumpHostsCo-costed by FOX hosts Dana Perino and Stuart Varney as well as UNIVISION's Ilia CalderónWhere to Watch or ListenFox News and Fox BusinessUnivisionRumble
  • White House In A Panic (Safe and Effective Satire)

    09/25/2023 4:36:23 PM PDT · by RetiredTexasVet · 1 replies
    9/25/23 | RetiredTexasVet
    President Biden has called George Soros to provide two of his fellow WW2 SS Waffen cronies for recognition and an award presentation in the US Senate. Biden was shocked that Zelinskyy and Trudeau of Canada had beaten him to the punch and had admonished the White House staff for this failure. The US Senate was chosen for the presentation location because of their lack decorum. President Biden has called for the presentation of the Profile in Courage Award for the former NAZIs after his trip to Michigan to embarrass himself and the UAW Union. Since the award will be by...
  • Dead Man Walking (Safe and Effective Satire)

    09/22/2023 3:03:53 PM PDT · by RetiredTexasVet · 3 replies
    9/22/23 | RetiredTexasVet
    President Slow Joe Biden is the Dead Man Walking. In spite of the daily dose of chemicals, blood transfusions and electro-shock treatment, Slow Joe is on an accelerated cognitive decline. Coupled with his and his criminal son's corruption, his political decline outpaces his cognitive decline. The only race Slow Joe will run in is to the morgue or old peoples home. But Progressives, all is not lost. In the bullpen we have the saving grace. We have commie Hillary "Benghazi" Clinton, fascist Gavin "The Jackal" Newsom and commie Moo "Mike" Obama. Will fan favorite Benghazi come out of retirement? She...
  • Getting Crowded At The Hog Trough (Safe and Effective Satire)

    09/21/2023 2:02:30 PM PDT · by RetiredTexasVet · 11 replies
    9/21/23 | RetiredTexasVet
    It's getting really crowded at the hog trough with the announcement that the Clinton Global Crime Initiative Foundation will muscle it's way to the Ukraine hog trough. The Clinton Global Crime Initiative Foundation has several decades of experience in milking humanitarian crises for hundreds of millions of dollars. The Foundation has turned grifting and money laundering into a veritable science. The Foundation and its Marxist State Media accomplice has been able to manipulate favorable public opinion of the Foundation while providing less than 10% of its proceeds to the humanitarian causes. The Foundation founder, Benghazi Clinton, stated you haven't seen...
  • F-35 Found By School Teacher (Safe and Effective Satire)

    09/18/2023 3:41:48 PM PDT · by RetiredTexasVet · 7 replies
    9/18/23 | RetiredTexasVet
    A school teacher in rural South Carolina has found the missing Marine Corp F-35 that went missing on a routine training mission. The school teacher (name withheld under national security rules) was aware of a missing F-35 by the image spotted on a milk carton at school. The school teacher was alerted to the presence of the F-35 when she bumped into something on the way to her vehicle when going home after school. She couldn't see anything but kept bumping into something blocking the way to the car. After feeling around it became apparent that the object was large...
  • Nikki Haley Positioned to Replace Ron DeSantis

    Nikki Haley Positioned to Replace Ron DeSantis September 12, 2023 | Sundance | 430 Comments The DeSantis campaign is imploding. The most recent admission from the team managing DeSantis was their shifted goalposts for a second place in Iowa. Additionally, there is now friction between Ron DeSantis and Jeff Roe (head of Never Back Down PAC), if the inside campaign leakers are to be believed. There is an element of total understanding to the frustration about the bitter pill DeSantis is being forced to swallow. I mean, think about it, the management of Ron DeSantis didn’t just posit the 2024...
  • Russia general says Ukraine just ‘stepping stone’ to invade Europe: ‘Won’t stop'

    09/12/2023 5:35:40 PM PDT · by Timber Rattler · 47 replies
    The Hindustan Times ^ | September 10, 2023 | Mallika Soni
    A key Russian general who Russian president Vladimir Putin promoted this week said that Moscow's invasion of Ukraine is a mere "stepping stone" to further conflict with Europe. Vladimir Putin promoted lieutenant general Andrey Mordvichev to the rank of colonel-general after he had already been serving in the role of commanding the central military district and Russian central grouping of forces in Ukraine. In an interview with Moscow's state-run Russia-1, Andrey Mordvichev said that he believes Vladimir Putin's war will last quite a long time and expand in the future. "I think there's still plenty of time to spend. It...
  • KFC's new "finger lickin' good" campaign is slammed for being racially insensitive

    08/28/2023 2:55:06 AM PDT · by grundle · 68 replies
    Revolt via Yahoo ^ | August 27, 2023 | Angelina Velasquez
    A new KFC campaign being run in Canada has sparked a flurry of criticism on Twitter after photos of billboards were deemed racially insensitive. The global restaurant chain has long used its slogan, “It’s finger lickin’ good,” and in the new advertisement, the company utilizes a witty attempt at proving it. Azim Akhtar, the director of marketing for KFC Canada, excitedly shared images that depicted the reflections of two Black men and a woman of color in silverware as they ate chicken and licked their fingers. “Sorry, utensils. It’s finger lickin’ good. Latest campaign, I couldn’t be more proud!” he...
  • Exposing a Multibillion Dollar FRAUD | Ft. Vivek Ramaswamy for President.

    Well, not surprised at all by any of this... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=59qQfV2_9w4 If you loved the folks behind the oxycontin crisis and the people behind it, you'll love Vivek.
  • Meritless Garland SCOTUS Nomination ? (Safe and Effective Satire)

    08/15/2023 3:24:14 PM PDT · by RetiredTexasVet · 3 replies
    8/15/23 | RetiredTexasVet
    Has Attorney General Meritless Garland been promised a SCOTUS nomination if he takes out Trump? With the flurry of Trump indictments, both Federal and State with Federal assistance, it seems that Garland has some motivation for all this activity. Unsurprisingly, Garland has been approached by the KKK Party to start an investigation to lynch the black guy on SCOTUS. Did Biden, at Obama's direction, promise Garland the black guy's seat if he could get rid of him and Trump? Would be a slam dunk because the KKK Party has the votes in the Senate with Schumer leading.
  • Apologies And Reparations (Safe and Effective Satire)

    07/20/2023 2:12:43 PM PDT · by RetiredTexasVet
    7/20/23 | RetiredTexasVet
    Republicans have proposed that apologies and reparations be made to all of the "Jack Smiths" in the US. Normal sane Jack Smiths are required to carry pictures of Jack "Dog Feces" Smith with them when accosted in public and accused of being the greasy, slimy, dirtbag Jack Smith of the Biden DOJ infamy. Although these Jack Smiths deny being that Jack Smith, many of these Jack Smiths are being unjustly publicly shamed and spit on because of the mis-identification. In addition to the public apologies and reparations, these Jack Smiths also would require Jack "Dog Feces" Smith to be required...
  • Chuck Grassley Issues Warning To Joe Biden: “Remember, I have read the unredacted version”

    06/13/2023 7:59:02 AM PDT · by Red Badger · 57 replies
    SLAY ^ | June 13, 2023 - 10:47 am | David Hawkins
    Chuck Grassley took off the kid gloves yesterday and issued a warning to President Joe Biden about his alleged bribery scheme. Chuck said: “Last week, I came to the Senate Floor to give a speech about the Biden Justice Department and FBI playing games with the American people by hiding the FBI-generated 1023 document from Congress. “Director Wray was going to be held in contempt for refusing to produce the 1023 that I told Chairman Comer about. Then, instead of contempt, the FBI committed to showing the 1023 and related documents to Congress. “So, the FBI showed but didn’t provide...
  • Denver Nuggets Win NBA Championship 4-1, in 94-89 game

    06/12/2023 8:08:15 PM PDT · by nickcarraway · 75 replies
    ESPN ^ | 6./12
    Denver Nuggets 94 Miami Heat 89 Series 4-1 Nikola Jokic was the leading scorer of the game with 28, and leading rebounder of the game with 16. Jamal Murray had the game high in assists with 8. They haven't named a series MVP, but it would be surprising if it wasn't Jokic.
  • Trump sticks boot into DeSantis as Florida Gov's top PAC advisor and long-time friend 'steps down' days after disastrous presidential campaign launch

    05/28/2023 4:10:42 AM PDT · by backpacker_c · 96 replies
    Dailymail ^ | May 28, 2023 | James Gordon
    Donald Trump took to Truth Social to delight in the reported departure of Phil Cox, a key member of Republican rival Ron DeSantis' campaign staff Phil Cox had been seen as a core staffer during DeSantis' 2022 gubernatorial reelection team and was among the campaign's first hires. More recently, he served as a senior adviser to the Never Back Down super PAC that supported the governor's bid for his 2024 presidency run - but on Saturday night it appeared he was no longer with the DeSantis campaign. 'I'm an unpaid, volunteer adviser to Never Back Down and proud to support...
  • Joe Biden formally announces 2024 White House run

    04/25/2023 3:25:01 AM PDT · by C210N · 114 replies
    The Guardian ^ | 4/25/23 | Lauren Gambino
    Joe Biden formally launched his re-election campaign on Tuesday, asking Americans to give him another four years to finish what he started. The president, famously nostalgic, chose to launch his campaign on the fourth anniversary of his return to politics in 2019, when he declared his intention to seek the presidential nomination for a third time. Then, like now, Biden relied on a video to formally declare his candidacy before venturing on to the campaign trail.
  • Donald Trump has 'final warning message' for Ron DeSantis

    04/19/2023 10:44:59 PM PDT · by RandFan · 180 replies
    twitter ^ | April 19 | Donald Trump
    @mattrg45 This is a final warning message for @RonDeSantisFL Clip...