A blonde finds lipstick on her husband's collar. Suspicious that he's cheating on her, she heads to a local gun shop and buys herself a pistol. That night, she hides in her bedroom closet. Sure enough, the husband comes home with his redheaded secretary on his arm and leads her to the bed. As they began to caress, the wife jumps out of the closet and holds the gun to her head. "Sweetheart," the husband pleads, "don't do it! Don't shoot yourself!" "Shut up, Johnny!" she cries. "You're next!" That blonde now runs the Republican Party. Hence, the GOPs dedication...