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I realize we're in the middle of a depression, and we have a socialist as a president- but that's no excuse not to have a sense of humor. Here are a collection of some of the funniest videos/sites I've ever found on the internet- please post your own and let's all have a good laugh.

KENILWORTH -- Biagio Sciscione has trouble walking and usually needs a cane or motorized wheelchair to get around. But when four people tried stealing a safe from his home, the 88-year-old Kenilworth resident said an adrenaline rush propelled him to his feet and into a front-lawn brawl with the alleged thieves. It’s a fight he won. "I ran right out there, I dropped my cane and I just went in action," Sciscione, a World War II veteran and retired butcher, said today.

New Message on Illinois Tuesday, August 11, 2009 9:55:12 AM SERKIT How about starting the Center for Righteous Fearmongering (CFR). All it takes is a FAX machine, some cardboard, magic markers......some quotes directly from HB3200 and maybe a website which would have a link to directly send emails to flag@whitehouse.gov Attention: Snitch B!tch. More Announcements / Options Forum: News/ActivismArticlesActivityCommentsBrevity: « Headers » | Text

What do murder, pedophilia, suicide and a baby tiger have in common? They have all been used to sell stuff in these amazingly disturbing vintage ads! These are real, untouched advertisements from the good old days. It doesn't matter if it's lovely ladies or adorable clowns, somehow these old-time ad wizards found ways to traumatize us while pedaling everyday products. Enjoy them now, call your therapist later! 15. White Bread Demon"Bread is swell, but what I'm really excited about is eating jelly made from the blood of the innocent!" 14. French Suicide SausageIt's enough to make you want to eat Kosher...

Americans grow happier as they age, surveys find. And a new Pew Research Center survey shows the tendency is holding up as the economy tanks. Happiness is a complex thing. Past studies have found that happiness is partly inherited, that Republicans are happier than Democrats, and that old men tend to be happier than old women. And even before the economy got nasty, seniors were found to be generally happier than Baby Boomers. Some of that owes to the American Dream being lived by past generations, while Boomers work two jobs and watch the dream wither. In times like this,...

Let's first acknowledge that we've moved well beyond the irony of "I hope I die before I get old" and the fact that the Who's Pete Townshend, who wrote the lyric, did get old, though his band's drummer didn't. Let's also let Mick Jagger off the hook for famously declaring, "I'd rather be dead than singing 'Satisfaction' when I'm 45." With the Rolling Stones singer turning 66 in July, he has had more than 20 years and several world tours to eat those words. We will, however, give consideration to Robert Plant's explanation earlier this year that he shot down...

Books claiming that science disproves ‘young-earth’ creationism are very common, and books that claim the Bible itself does not mandate a literal interpretation of the first few chapters of Genesis are not in short supply either. David Snoke’s book A Biblical Case for an Old Earth ostensibly falls in the latter group, though his main reason for rejecting biblical creation is really uniformitarian ‘science’. Books like these generally don’t pose a threat to informed creationists, and this one is no exception. In fact, Snoke could have saved himself a lot of trouble if he had actually taken the time to...

Republicans Fear Al Franken Stealing Votes Sunday, November 9, 2008 8:03 PM By: Phil Brennan With votes for comedian Al Franken mysteriously appearing out of thin air, steadily narrowing the gap between him and Sen. Norm Coleman, the stench of corruption becomes more and more pungent. *Snip* According to the Coleman forces, the ballots were not counted on Election Day and were not kept in sealed boxes. It says the request was made amid "increasing questions about unexplained and improbable shifts in vote counts." The most recent vote tally has Coleman leading Franken by only a couple hundred votes. A...

ATHENS, Greece - Archaeologists have discovered the ruins of a 6,500-year-old farming settlement in an antiquities-rich area of central Greece.

Charleston -- Senator Byrd's standing in Washington has helped West Virginia secure federal funding for such projects as widening Route 35 in Puntnam County. Now his position as Chairman of the powerful Senate Appropriations Committee is being questioned because of health reasons. Published reports say a move is on by Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid to ease Senator Byrd out of that position. "If they do, they are making a big mistake, huge mistake. He's an outstanding man outstanding West Virginian," says Nate Henderson of Huntington. "I don't think you can go on someone's health. As long as they still...

If your parents live long enough there comes that awful moment when you look at them and realize: they’ve grown old. Suddenly, they’re unsteady on their feet. They tell bizarre, wince-inducing jokes. They’re the only ones grinning - and grinning weirdly at that. That’s how I felt watching John McCain on Tuesday night. What happened? Remember when he burst onto the national scene in 2000? Remember all those New Hampshire Republicans, independents, even Democrats who fell in love, who said they had never supported a candidate with such passion? McCain was the bad boy/fly boy war hero turned wry, caustic...

With the rumor mill buzzing that a discontent Elisabeth Hasselbeck may vacate her cushiony seat on The View for the cool, hard Eames chair of Fox News, it's up to den mother Barbara Walters to restore order on the set of her chat show. True to form, Walters has eschewed hugging it out in favor of a more clinical approach; according to the Chicago Sun-Times, she's had to schedule a staff meeting to deal with the increasingly hot-under-the-collar Hasselbeck: BIG RIFT ON 'THE VIEW': A longtime staff member on ''The View'' chatfest says, ''It's not as bad as during the...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GQadAAlK9c4

OBAMA/BIDEN: SAME OLD CHANGE I awoke Saturday to find Delaware Senator Joe Biden on the ticket. As I slurped my first cup of coffee and rubbed my sleepy eyes, the enormity of this began to sink in: The Agent for Change We Can Believe In just changed his motto to: "Same Old Change". I will not hide who I am in order to paint false pathos, to pretend (like Claude Rains in "Casablanca") that I am "shocked, shocked to find gambling go on" at Ricks Place, and feign that Senator Obama's choice for the person to be a heartbeat from...

Here's where I guess we say, "BLACK HAWK DOWN ON POSTVILLE." Yup, after $10,000,000 spent on the absurd raid on a kosher meat plant in May, only about 300 illegal aliens supposely deported and given zero jailtime (even though many were multiple deportees), here's what's happening at Agriprocessors in Postville, Iowa: Buh-bye, Hispanic illegal aliens. Hello, "semi-legal" Muslim Somalian extremists...

Look and listen, it's true.

Three women were killed and at least 30 more people were injured when a bulldozer driven by a Palestinian resident of east Jerusalem trampled over pedestrians and vehicles and plowed into two buses in downtown Jerusalem at around noon Wednesday. Magen David Adom reported of casualties on Rashi, Jaffa and Sarei Yisrael streets. The driver, who reportedly had a criminal record and was the holder of an Israeli (blue) identification card, was shot dead by a SWAT officer near the old Shaare Zedek Medical Center. The terrorist was identified as 31-year-old Hossam Dawiath, a father of two from the village...

The broadcast networks have grown older than ever -- if they were a person, they wouldn't even be a part of TV's target demo anymore. According to a study released by Magna Global's Steve Sternberg, the five broadcast nets' average live median age (in other words, not including delayed DVR viewing) was 50 last season. That's the oldest ever since Sternberg started analyzing median age more than a decade ago -- and the first time the nets' median age was outside of the vaunted 18-49 demo. Fueling the graying of the networks: the rapid aging of ABC, NBC and Fox....

In a campaign year marked by flare-ups surrounding comments that have offended one group or another, John McCain and Barack Obama have moved on to the next sensitive battleground: the question of McCain’s advanced age. As some Republicans see it, Democrats are deliberately talking in code about the presumptive 71-year-old GOP nominee as part of an attempt to highlight his age.“It is code; there is no question it is,” Ed Rollins, a Republican strategist who helped lead President Ronald Reagan’s 1984 reelection campaign, said when age surfaced as an issue. “They are trying to raise doubts.”MSNBC host Joe Scarborough repeatedly...

Half a million elderly men lead lonely lives with no friends and no contact from their families, a report warned yesterday. It found that one person in five with an elderly father is no longer in touch with him. One in four claims to be too busy to maintain contact. Divorce and family break-up has left millions of men without ties to their children and with few or no family links, said the charity Help the Aged. Retirement deprives many of the company of work colleagues and others are left alone by bereavement or their own poor health Of the...

A float in a German parade.... SO, you think the world isn't watching the fiasco in the USA ?

I was supposed to ask her questions like "where are you most likely to disagree with your mom or your dad?" or "did you ever call your mom at 3 am and how did she react?" But all I could think of was that: "I am...standing in front of Hill and Bill's kid...in a red Mary Kay Cosmetics Collection dress...I'd just bought that day at the Goodwill...how weird is that?" Yes, Chelsea Clinton made it to the infamous "Red Dress" Party. Not to be confused with that other annual "Red Dress" fundraiser, this is the "Red Dress Party," a mondo-alcohol-fueled...

WASHINGTON (AP) — Democratic Rep. John Murtha said Wednesday that Republican Sen. John McCain is too old to be president. Murtha is 75, four years older than McCain. He says they are nearly the same age, and the rigors and stress of running the country is too much for guys their age. "I've served with seven presidents," Murtha told a union audience. "When they come in, they all make mistakes. They all get older." "This one guy running is about as old as me," he said, drawing laughter and applause. "Let me tell you something, it's no old man's job."...

There's another side to Alicia Keys: conspiracy theorist. The Grammy-winning singer-songwriter tells Blender magazine: "'Gangsta rap' was a ploy to convince black people to kill each other. 'Gangsta rap' didn't exist." Keys, 27, said she's read several Black Panther autobiographies and wears a gold AK-47 pendant around her neck "to symbolize strength, power and killing 'em dead," according to an interview in the magazine's May issue, on newsstands Tuesday.

A speech to end the war (A Must-Read) > > > WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR ANY > U.S. PRESIDENT, DEMOCRATIC OR REPUBLICAN, GIVE THE FOLLOWING > SPEECH? > > My Fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of the Iraq > regime has been completed. > > Since Congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, > our mission in Iraq is complete. > > This morning, I gave the order for a complete removal of all > American forces from Iraq. This action will be complete within...

Getting Forgetful? Then Blueberries May Hold The Key ScienceDaily (Apr. 12, 2008) — If you are getting forgetful as you get older, then a research team from the University of Reading and the Peninsula Medical School in the Southwest of England may have good news for you They have found that phytochemical-rich foods, such as blueberries, are effective at reversing age-related deficits in memory, according to a study soon to be published in the science journal Free Radical Biology and Medicine. The researchers working at the Schools of Food Biosciences and Psychology in Reading and the Institute of Biomedical and...

WASHINGTON - A great old war hero - arms man gled by battle and known as an acerbic straight shooter - is picked by Republicans to be their nominee to make darned certain that a Clinton doesn't get back into the White House. John McCain? No, Bob Dole in 1996. And it didn't work out very well for Republicans. Dole lost after a campaign vexed by senior moments such as when the nominee fell off a stage, or when he referred to the Los Angeles Dodgers as the Brooklyn Dodgers. All along, President Bill Clinton showed extreme deference to Dole,...

LOS ANGELES — John McCain has been called an American hero. But is he a natural born citizen? A federal judge in California has been asked to determine if the Republican presidential candidate, who was born in the Panama Canal Zone in 1936, meets the legal test to qualify for the nation's highest office. The Constitution requires that only "natural born" citizens hold the presidency, a term on which the Founding Fathers did not elaborate. McCain has said there is no question about his eligibility, an assessment echoed by former Solicitor General Ted Olson, who is examining the issue for...

Scripps Howard Editor: Conservatives Should Be Like JFKIt is getting tiresome already, but we are starting to see a new kind of story on this issue of McCain and his tiff with the conservative wing of the GOP and that is the shut-up-and-take-it style of commentary, the style were conservatives are told to throw away their principles and just vote McCain anyway. I am sure that you all have noticed that John McCain is not the conservative's hero? There has been story after story expounding on how McCain has a lot of cajoling to do before principled conservatives will...

"I just read in an Indian depredation claim I copied from the National Archives last summer that Black Kettle was understood by everyone in 1868 as being a spy for the raiding Indians. He would profess peace and all the time he was gathering information he would later share with the Dog Soldiers to assist them in their raids, etc." Dr. Jeff Broome, author of the very important book "Dog Soldier Justice", the most accurate depiction of the Indian massacres of 1868 "Some of the raiders came from Black Kettle's camp. As was the case on numerous previous occasions, his...

HARLAN, Iowa -- From his days of campaigning in Downstate Illinois, Sen. Barack Obama has been asked plenty of times about his views on gun ownership. But the Illinois Democrat and presidential candidate added a new wrinkle Saturday night while campaigning in conservative-leaning western Iowa, when he said his Chicago-native wife, Michelle, recently commented that she could see why rural folks might want to own guns. Here was Obama's discussion of gun ownership and his wife's thoughts during a campaign stop at a middle school: --snip-- "And by the way, Michelle, my wife, she was traveling up, I think, in...

MOST of what we know about dinosaurs has been pieced together from fossilised bones and teeth. But the unearthing of a mummified dinosaur in the US, with preserved skin and apparent soft tissue, has the potential to unlock biological secrets millions of years old.The remains of the duck-billed hadrosaur are in such good condition - with its skin almost entirely intact - that it has already revealed the creature ran faster and was far more muscular than previously thought. But the remains could offer an even greater insight into the evolution and biology of dinosaurs. [snip]

Finding 2,500-year-old bonesOn land for pumping station, investigators get a surprise Saturday, December 1, 2007 3:08 AM By Theodore DeckerTHE COLUMBUS DISPATCH Justin Zink works at the site where a prehistoric skeleton was uncovered on the grounds of the Columbus Southerly Wastewater Treatment Plant. On the site beside the Scioto River, the archaeologists had found fire pits dating to about 550 B.C., shards of pottery, even traces of an ancient building. This week, Ryan Weller and his team found something more: a human skeleton, buried on the riverbank by his or her loved ones as long as 2,500 years ago....

It's fun to repeat things. I posted a food memories thread last year. Let's revise it and talk about old-fashioned recipes.

There used to be four common life phases: childhood, adolescence, adulthood and old age. Now, there are at least six: childhood, adolescence, odyssey, adulthood, active retirement and old age. Of the new ones, the least understood is odyssey, the decade of wandering that frequently occurs between adolescence and adulthood. During this decade, 20-somethings go to school and take breaks from school. They live with friends and they live at home. They fall in and out of love. They try one career and then try another. Their parents grow increasingly anxious. These parents understand that there’s bound to be a transition...

Few people in US history are as tarnished as the pioneers, these settlers, poor immigrants or gamblers, families, preachers, who settled the West and created modern America. Indian killers, racists, stupid? That's what we call them today. Their hatred of the Indians came only because they were racists, it is said. What did they endure? Who was their enemy? Here is a story of the West - and how we quickly forgot what the West really was, and whom the settlers were fighting against. Surviving in the Plains with such an enemy makes these settlers true American heroes. watch the...

Police in Colombia have captured the man they regard as the country's top drug baron, Diego Montoya. He was arrested in his western home province of Valle del Cauca. Mr Montoya - known in Colombia's underworld as the "boss of bosses" - appears on the US Federal Bureau of Investigation's "10 Most Wanted" list. He is accused of producing tons of cocaine for the US market. Officials say he helped found the Norte del Valle cartel based near the city of Cali. The BBC's Jeremy McDermott in Bogota says Mr Montoya's capture is a huge coup for the government and...

Projectile points look old, old, oldSecond site - Archaeologists suspect fluted obsidian tools date almost to the last ice age Wednesday, September 05, 2007RICHARD L. HILL The Oregonian Staff Archaeologists working in south-central Oregon's sagebrush steppes have found signs of some of the region's earliest inhabitants. Researchers from the University of Oregon and U.S. Bureau of Land Management have uncovered four fluted projectile points and related artifacts at a remote site near Riley. The obsidian points could be 12,000 years old, but the archaeologists are being cautious about giving an exact age until they're able to obtain radiocarbon dates from...

Durham police have arrested a 93-year-old man on cocaine-trafficking and related charges. William C. Tinnen was arrested Thursday during a raid at 204 Teel St., police said in a news release issued today. Police spokeswoman Kammie Michael said she assumed police had a tip that drug activity was taking place there. In addition to trafficking, Tinnen is charged with possession of cocaine with the intent to sell or deliver, possession of drug paraphernalia and maintaining a dwelling for the sale of drugs. Officers also confiscated three firearms from the house. Tinnen's bond was set at $200,000.

Aboard the presidential jet, a grinning Hugo Chavez put a hand on Sean Penn's shoulder, praised his acting and added: ''And he's anti-Bush!'' The Venezuelan president revelled in his role as host to the Hollywood star as they flew across the country on Friday and travelled through the countryside in a military jeep with Chavez at the wheel, stopping to greet cheering supporters. The Oscar-winning actor has previously condemned the Iraq war and called for US President George W Bush to be impeached. But he revealed little about his thoughts on Venezuela, saying he came as a freelance journalist after...

One sunny day in JANUARY 2009, an old man approached the White House from across Pennsylvania Avenue , where he'd been sitting on a park bench. He spoke to the Marine standing guard and said, "I would like to go in and meet with President Hillary Clinton". The Marine replied, "Sir, Mrs. Clinton is not President and doesn't reside here". The old man said, "Okay," and walked away. The following day, the same man approached the White House and said to the same Marine, "I would like to go in and meet with President Hillary Clinton". The Marine again told...

Talk of lewd tapes, hidden cameras, forged documents and blackmail dominated the first courtroom hearing yesterday for a Navy doctor accused of secretly filming U.S. Naval Academy midshipmen having sex in his house. Two former midshipmen accused Cmdr. Kevin Ronan, who served as a physician for academy athletic teams and as the brigade medical officer, of taping three midshipmen having sex with their girlfriends and four other midshipmen alone and naked.....

An American member of Al-Qaeda warned in an Internet video that US President George W. Bush should withdraw all his troops from Muslim land or face attacks worse than September 11. Adam Gadahn, a convert to Islam who has been indicted for treason by a US jury, issued a list of demands and warned they were not up for negotiation. "Your failure to heed our demands means that you and your people... will experience things that will make you forget all about the horrors of September 11, Afghanistan and Iraq, and Virginia Tech," he said in the video posted on...

MELBOURNE, Australia - A gay bar has won the right to turn away heterosexuals and even lesbians to provide a non-threatening atmosphere for the men partying inside. A tribunal in Australia's southern Victoria state granted Melbourne's Peel Hotel an exemption to equal rights laws, saying it was needed to prevent "sexually based insults and violence" aimed at the pub's patrons. In her findings, the tribunal's deputy president, Cate McKenzie, said Monday that to allow large numbers of straight men and women and lesbians into the bar could "undermine or destroy" the convivial atmosphere that the Peel Hotel sought to create...

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi is on an overseas trip to embrace an audience and a topic for which President Bush has shown scant affection: "Old Europe" and global warming. Pelosi, D-Calif., and seven other House members left Saturday for meetings with scientists and politicians in Greenland, Germany and Belgium on ways to reduce emissions of carbon dioxide and other greenhouse gases. The trip comes shortly before a climate change summit next month involving the leading industrialized nations and during a time of increased debate over what should succeed the Kyoto Protocol, a 1997 international treaty that caps the amount of...

Government seeks terrorist label for arsonists 08:32 AM MST on Tuesday, May 15, 2007 By JEFF BARNARD / AP Environmental Writer EUGENE, Ore. (AP) -- Chelsea Gerlach was 16 when she attended an Earth First! gathering in Idaho, where she met an instructor in monkey wrenching - sabotage in the name of protecting the environment - who called himself Avalon. According to federal prosecutors, she developed a crush on William C. Rodgers, and joined his cell of the Earth Liberation Front in Eugene known as The Family, which later became responsible for 20 arsons around the West that did $40...

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following: First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely...

BREAKING...

Helen Walton Dies At 87 Matriarch 'Devoted Much Of Her Life To Others' This article was published on Thursday, April 19, 2007 11:23 PM CDT in News By Anita French & Michael Tilley The Morning News Email this story Print this story Comment on this story Related Photos The matriarch of the world's most successful and largest retail company has died. Helen Walton, the wife and key business partner to Wal-Mart founder Sam Walton, was 87.