HAVE WATCHED my church – the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America – debate sexuality for 20 years. A key concern has been the role of gays and lesbians in the pastoral ministry. We allow gays and lesbians in our pulpits, but have expected them to abstain from sexual relationships, even if in a committed relationship comparable to marriage. Earlier this month, by a vote of 538 to 431, the highest decision-making body of our denomination urged bishops to exercise "restraint" in disciplining clergy who violate that policy. The action by our churchwide assembly did not change the policy, but clearly...