IRELAND — Patrick, the patron saint of Ireland, expressed great pride that he was able to bring Christianity to the Anglo-Saxons so their descendants could commemorate it each year by gathering in mobs, get fall-down, hammered drunk, and commit various acts of aggravated assault on each other on March 17. "It really makes all of the hard work and sacrifice all worth it," Patrick said when reached posthumously for comment on the holiday named after him. "I really risked life and limb to preach the gospel to an entire nation populated by bloodthirsty, pagan barbarians. It's a real relief to...