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DECEMBER 21--A federal employee was formally reprimanded this month for excessive workplace flatulence, a sanction that was delivered to him in a five-page letter that actually included a log of representative dates and times when he was recorded “releasing the awful and unpleasant odor” in his Baltimore office. In a December 10 letter accusing him of “conduct unbecoming a federal officer,” the Social Security Administration employee was informed that his “uncontrollable flatulence” had created an “intolerable” and “hostile” environment for coworkers, several of whom have lodged complaints with supervisors. The worker, a 38-year-old Maryland resident, reportedly submitted evidence that he...

Like gigantic, long-necked, prehistoric cows, sauropod dinosaurs roamed widely around the Earth 150 million years ago, scientists reported in the journal Current Biology on Monday. In a major new climate finding, researchers have calculated that dinosaur flatulence could have put enough methane into the atmosphere to warm the planet during the hot, wet Mesozoic era. Like gigantic, long-necked, prehistoric cows, sauropod dinosaurs roamed widely around the Earth 150 million years ago, scientists reported in the journal Current Biology on Monday. And just like big cows, their plant digestion was aided by methane-producing microbes. "A simple mathematical model suggests that the...

A court in the northern German town of Osnabrück has ruled that a farmer is allowed to feed his pigs vast quantities of raw onions, despite complaints from neighbors about their eye-watering gaseous emissions. The farmer has been feeding his 1,500 pigs several cubic meters of onions every week for the past 14 years, but city authorities ordered him to stop, and threatened to fine him €2,500 (US$3,267), after locals complained of the resulting pungent porcine farts. The council justified its decision on the grounds that planning permission for the pigsty forbade “strong-smelling foods, e.g. kitchen waste.” But the court...

What do the words sex, lavender, flatulence, quickie, butt, mango and pud have in common? They are among more than 1,000 words deemed so obscene by the Pakistani Telecommunications Authority that they have instructed mobile phone operators to block them from all text messages. It is a decision that has left many in Pakistan unsure whether to be staggered, amused or outraged. Social media sites such as Twitter have been flooded with posts about the decision. An unconfirmed list has been circulating online. Many of the words are sexually explicit but the inclusion of some words and phrases appear to...

Breaking wind is set to be made a crime in an African country. The government of Malawi plan to punish persistent offenders 'who foul the air' in a bid to 'mould responsible and disciplined citizens.' But locals fear that pinning responsibility on the crime will be difficult - and may lead to miscarriages of justice as 'criminals' attempt to blame others for their offence. One Malawian told the website Africanews.com: 'My goodness. What happens in a public place where a group is gathered. Do they lock up half a minibus? 'And how about at meetings where it is difficult to...

Breaking wind is set to be made a crime in an African country. The government of Malawi plan to punish persistent offenders 'who foul the air' in a bid to 'mould responsible and disciplined citizens.' But locals fear that pinning responsibility on the crime will be difficult - and may lead to miscarriages of justice as 'criminals' attempt to blame others for their offence. One Malawian told the website Africanews.com: 'My goodness. What happens in a public place where a group is gathered. Do they lock up half a minibus? 'And how about at meetings where it is difficult to...

<p>Police say a Connecticut man became so angered by a woman's reprimand for his continued flatulence at a party that he went on a stabbing spree, killing a personal friend.</p> <p>According to published reports, Marc Higgins, 21, allegedly stabbed to death his friend, Matthew Walton, and injured three others during a house party Saturday night in Bristol, Conn., where alcohol was being consumed.</p>

Start your day off with a good laugh by watching a short video clip of a penguin that cuts a fart. what really makes it great though, is the penguin that is following right behind it, makes a quick U-Turn. I guess it proves that all animal farts smell bad to others

I am starting a project and want to know if someone would like to help me do it. Once started we can develop a reset button for this economic structure.

Daughter blames mother for global warming By Dr. Paul Donohue SPECIAL TO THE POST-DISPATCH 01/27/2010 Dear Dr. Donohue — My daughter complains that I flatulate more often than most individuals. Furthermore, she claims that the gas an individual passes contributes to global warming. I don't know if I am physically able to keep my gas to myself to go green. Is my daughter really right? Donohue: Is your daughter for real? .... excerpted from: http://www.stltoday.com/stltoday/lifestyle/columnists.nsf/drpauldonohue/story/BE5A104050CE7DD5862576B6006F270B?OpenDocument

October 27, 2009 Climate Chief Lord Stern: Give Up Meat To Save The Planet Methane is 23 times more powerful than carbon dioxide as a global warming gas Robin Pagnamenta, Energy Editor People will need to consider turning vegetarian if the world is to conquer climate change, according to a leading authority on global warming. In an interview with The Times, Lord Stern of Brentford said: “Meat is a wasteful use of water and creates a lot of greenhouse gases. It puts enormous pressure on the world’s resources. A vegetarian diet is better.” Direct emissions of methane from cows and...

GIVE up lamb roasts and save the planet. Government advisers are developing menus to combat climate change by cutting out “high carbon” food such as meat from sheep, whose burping poses a serious threat to the environment. Out will go kebabs, greenhouse tomatoes and alcohol. Instead, diners will be encouraged to consume more potatoes and seasonal vegetables, as well as pork and chicken, which generate fewer carbon emissions. “Changing our lifestyles, including our diets, is going to be one of the crucial elements in cutting carbon emissions,” said David Kennedy, chief executive of the Committee on Climate Change.... ....The problem...

Cows break wind a lot, and their flatulence fills the air with methane, a potent greenhouse gas. In fact, the EPA estimates that roughly 28 percent of all methane emissions related to human activity come from methane-producing bacteria in the rumens of domestic cattle, sheep and goats and other livestock known as ruminants, which eat plants that are mostly indigestible by other creatures. By volume, methane is more powerful than carbon dioxide at trapping solar energy and making the atmosphere behave like a greenhouse. Fish oil could cut down on the boom-booms, a new study suggests.

WASHINGTON (CNN) -- First came the iPhone. Then, there was the "iFart" flatulence noise download. Now, there's "Pull My Finger" -- and next could come the lawsuits. A Florida-based company has accused a Colorado competitor in federal court of trademark infringement and unfair business practices over the phrase "Pull My Finger." The dispute began after the makers of iFart began using phrase "pull my finger" in advertisements for their products. Air-o-Matic, based in Jacksonville, Florida, and Colorado-based InfoMedia, Inc., both offer a range of competing software applications, or "apps," that subscribers can download into their multitasking cell phones. Users can...

First it was California city slickers escaping to the Mountain West, finding to their shock and horror that livestock lived there, and then demanding the offensive creatures be banned. Now comes the EPA of President George Bush, Republican of Texas, with their plan to tax cow and hog farts. Sounds funny, but it could run some ranchers out of business. It also reminded me of that famous anonymous Tax Poem.The Tax Poem Tax his land, Tax his bed, Tax the table At which he’s fed. Tax his tractor, Tax his mule, Teach him taxes Are the rule. Tax his work,...

EPA calls talk of a tax on cow flatulence a bunch of hot airBy MATT SCHOFIELD The Kansas City Star Posted on Tue, Dec. 16, 2008 10:15 PM The cow flatulence tax is not real. Comedians might wish it were. Ranchers may find sweet release in yelling about it. Congressmen might see it as an easy issue to gas about. But the Environmental Protection Agency is not — repeat, not — working up a tax on cow emissions. “I know it’s tough to even talk about this without laughing, but if you’re a farmer, it is a very scary thought,”...

For farmers, this stinks: Belching and gaseous cows and hogs could start costing them money if a federal proposal to charge fees for air-polluting animals becomes law. Farmers so far are turning their noses up at the notion, which is one of several put forward by the Environmental Protection Agency after the U.S. Supreme Court ruled in 2007 that greenhouse gases emitted by belching and flatulence amounts to air pollution.

New Zealand scientists claim to have developed a "flatulence inoculation" aimed at cutting down on the massive amount of methane produced by its sheep and cows. Such animals are believed to be responsible for more than half of the country's greenhouse gases, causing huge environmental problems. But Phil Goff, New Zealand's trade minister, told an Organisation for Economic Co-Operation and Development (OECD) in Paris yesterday that a solution was in sight. "Our agricultural research organisation just last week was able to map the genome ... that causes methane in ruminant animals and we believe we can vaccinate against" flatulent emissions,...

CAMDEN (Feb 1): The Merriam Webster Dictionary definition for flatulence is brief: "flatus expelled through the anus." And while it's a natural bodily function, it seems some Camden-Rockport Middle School eighth-grade boys are taking it to new heights and making a game of seeing who can expel the loudest and grossest flatus. Advertisement According to this week's Fire Cracker school newsletter though, the joke's on the boys as the penalty for "intentional farting" is now a detention. "Strange, but true, thanks to a bunch of 8th grade boys, intentional farting has been banned from CRMS," the newsletter said. "It started...

TORONTO -- So you think your husband's a little too adept at playing the colonic calliope? Wish your sleep wasn't interrupted by a fusillade of flatulence? Well, if you think you've taken up residence in Beantown but he insists his output is normal, you can both take heart that debates like yours are raging all over. You both should know this as well: Whether it takes the form of stealth bombers or noisy bottom burps, flatulence is a normal byproduct of the human body. Everybody farts, multiple times throughout the day and night. But the whens and the hows can...