Your list does not make sense:
“* Not expensing any capital goods over $500.”
For 2014 businesses can Sec. 179 expense up to $500,000. Your line indicates that businesses can not Sec. 179 expense an item with a value over $500. That is not true.
“* You are exempt if you hire a major auditing firm....” This is absolutely false. No matter who does the work, the client is always on the hook.
I still need more information if you want to go down this path.