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Posts by rlmorel

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  • Ariana Grande’s Manager Stands with ‘Children of Syria’ After Manchester Bombing

    05/25/2017 6:47:29 PM PDT · 15 of 65
    rlmorel to Tolerance Sucks Rocks

    TSR, these people are deranged.

  • Hands As Sexy As Breast ~ Per Feminists

    05/25/2017 6:46:04 PM PDT · 42 of 42
    rlmorel to Agamemnon

    Gaaahhh!!!

  • Hands As Sexy As Breast ~ Per Feminists

    05/25/2017 2:57:51 PM PDT · 30 of 42
    rlmorel to ichabod1
    As far as that goes, there have been times I’ve found a mannish looking woman to be verrreee attractive."

    LOL, there have probably been times...

  • Hands As Sexy As Breast ~ Per Feminists

    05/25/2017 2:55:55 PM PDT · 29 of 42
    rlmorel to Veto!

    LOL, if we keep going, I am certain we can get this thread pulled with an Admin Mod “No thanks”!!!

  • Hands As Sexy As Breast ~ Per Feminists

    05/25/2017 2:53:34 PM PDT · 27 of 42
    rlmorel to Mr. Douglas
    "...I’ve found that the sexiness of hands is directly proportionate to what is in them..."

    I nearly spit my drink there!

  • Former Navy SEAL Tells Katy Perry To 'go to hell' Over Manchester Bombing Comments

    05/25/2017 2:49:48 PM PDT · 30 of 47
    rlmorel to Boogieman
    "...Of course, if you say it like that, it would go right over Katy’s head..."

    Which would make it just about waist height.

  • Raiders Head Football Coach Jack Del Rio Defends Sean Hannity's Extensive Coverage of Seth Rich

    05/25/2017 2:30:01 PM PDT · 9 of 37
    rlmorel to Red Badger

    As a Pats fan, I will definitely wish him well until he plays the Pats!

    Hats off to him.

  • Laugh it Off

    05/25/2017 1:05:37 PM PDT · 42 of 45
    rlmorel to huldah1776

    Heh, glad to hear it. A Marine in the family tree only enhances it...:)

    I like that joke, too...

  • Asteroid worth $10,000 quadrillion ‘could transform global economy

    05/25/2017 11:37:05 AM PDT · 48 of 95
    rlmorel to Red Badger
  • Obama gets rock-star welcome in Berlin, praises Merkel

    05/25/2017 9:47:39 AM PDT · 19 of 91
    rlmorel to NormsRevenge

    Rock Star, eh? I wonder if anyone threw any skid-mark stained men’s briefs at him.

  • Labour Manchester Mayor Says Suicide Bomber ‘Not a Muslim’

    05/25/2017 9:01:42 AM PDT · 55 of 74
    rlmorel to the OlLine Rebel

    It is infuriating. To watch it, it is like a national expression of Stockholm Syndrome.

  • Labour Manchester Mayor Says Suicide Bomber ‘Not a Muslim’

    05/25/2017 8:18:42 AM PDT · 26 of 74
    rlmorel to C19fan
    "...nsisting the “worst thing that can happen” is people blaming Muslims..."

    Yes. Blaming muslims is far, FAR worse than murder and maiming by nails and ball bearings. Far worse.

  • Laugh it Off

    05/25/2017 8:11:08 AM PDT · 34 of 45
    rlmorel to V K Lee

    I’m so sorry-didn’t mean that. It is George Carlin before he became...well...the long-haired George Carlin!

  • Laugh it Off

    05/25/2017 7:22:09 AM PDT · 31 of 45
    rlmorel to laweeks
    A woman walks into the downtown welfare office, trailed by 15 kids.

    SOCIAL WORKER: Wow, are they all yours?

    WELFARE MOTHER: Yep, they are all mine, I've heard that question a thousand times before.

    SOCIAL WORKER: Well, then you must be here to sign up. I'll need all your children's names.

    WELFARE MOTHER: That’s easy. To keep it simple, the boys are all named 'Terry' and the girls are all named 'Terri'.

    SOCIAL WORKER: (stares in disbelief) Are you serious? They're all named 'Terry'?

    WELFARE MOTHER: Yes - it makes it easier. when its time to get them out of bed and ready for school, I yell, 'Terry!' and when it's time for dinner, I just yell 'Terry!' and they all come running. And if I need to stop the kid who's running into the street, I just yell 'Terry!' and all of them stop in their tracks. It's the smartest idea I ever had, naming them all 'Terry'.

    SOCIAL WORKER: (thinks this over for a bit, then wrinkles her forehead) But what if you just want one kid to come, and not the whole bunch?

    WELFARE MOTHER: Then I call them by their last names.

  • Laugh it Off

    05/25/2017 7:00:19 AM PDT · 28 of 45
    rlmorel to huldah1776

    An Army Ranger was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana and he wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.

    After becoming very frustrated with the “no haggle” attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the Ranger shouted, “maybe I’ll just go out and get my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!”

    The vendor said, “By all means, be my guest. Maybe you will run into a couple of Marines who were in here earlier saying the same thing.”

    So the Ranger headed into the bayou that same day and a few hours later came upon two men standing waist deep in the water. He thought, “those must be the two Marines the guy in town was talking about.” Just then, the Ranger saw a tremendously long gator swimming rapidly underwater towards one of the Marines.

    Just as the gator was about to attack, the Marine grabbed its neck with both hands and strangled it to death with very little effort. Then both Marines dragged it on shore and flipped it on its back. Laying nearby were several more of the creatures.

    One of the Marines then exclaimed, “Damn, this one doesn’t have any shoes either!”

  • Laugh it Off

    05/25/2017 6:58:14 AM PDT · 27 of 45
    rlmorel to Sans-Culotte

    Just a couple of years ago, researchers for the Massachusetts Turnpike Authority found over 200 dead crows near greater Boston recently, and there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu. A Bird Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone’s relief, confirmed the problem was definitely NOT Avian Flu. The cause of death appeared to be vehicular impacts.

    However, during the detailed analysis it was noted that varying colors of paints appeared on the bird’s beaks and claws. By analyzing these paint residues it was determined that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with trucks, while only 2% were killed by an impact with a car.

    MTA then hired an Ornithological Behaviorist to determine if there was a cause for the disproportionate percentages of truck kills versus car kills.

    The Ornithological Behaviorist very quickly concluded the cause: when crows eat road kill, they always have a look-out crow in a nearby tree to warn of impending danger.

    The scientific conclusion was that while all the lookout crows could say “Cah”, none could say “Truck.”

  • Laugh it Off

    05/25/2017 6:56:00 AM PDT · 26 of 45
    rlmorel to Louis Foxwell

    A young man named John received a parrot as a gift.

    The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird’s mouth was rude, obnoxious,and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird’s attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to “clean up” the bird’s vocabulary. Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot.

    The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even ruder. In desperation, John threw up his hands, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer.

    For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly... there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute. Fearing that he’d hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer.

    The parrot calmly stepped out onto John’s outstretched arms and said, “I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions.I’m sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior.”

    John was stunned at the change in the bird’s attitude.

    He was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, when the bird continued, “May I ask what the turkey did?”

  • Laugh it Off

    05/25/2017 6:49:42 AM PDT · 25 of 45
    rlmorel to pjd

    Two Irishmen walk out of a bar...

    Yes, that can happen.

  • Laugh it Off

    05/25/2017 6:48:59 AM PDT · 24 of 45
    rlmorel to sodpoodle
    A farmer was showing a city slicker his farm, and when they came to the pig pen, the following exchange took place:

    CITY SLICKER: Hey! That pig only has three legs! What happened to it? Was it born that way?

    FARMER: Well, no...I'm glad you asked. That pig is s special-un. He saved the life of me and my family. Our farm was on fire while we were all sleeping, and that there pig got loose, came into the house and raised such a ruckus, and wouldn't stop, that we all woke. We couldn't find our way out, and that there pig led us through the smoke and fire to safety. Yea, he is a special-un. So, we feel an obligation to treat him right special.

    CITY SLICKER: That's amazing! What happened to his leg, did he injure it in the fire?

    FARMER: Oh, no. A pig that special, you just don't eat all at once.

  • Laugh it Off

    05/25/2017 6:40:22 AM PDT · 23 of 45
    rlmorel to V K Lee
    It all sounds like George Carlin!

    Speaking of which, I was watching a video recently, and this image came up...I kept looking at thinking "Who is that? I feel as if I should know..."