Free Republic

DES MOINES, IA—The FCC announced today that the next Democratic debate will not require viewers to use a color television. The decision was made in part due to the fact that all the remaining candidates are white. The FCC cites several other reasons for the change, however. The FCC reminded everyone in a statement that the only color you'll need to make out the candidates' skin color is white. “Listen, we didn’t want to leave anybody out,” said FCC employee Steven Penta. “Over one percent of American’s live without color TV, and that makes those folks a minority. We didn’t...

NEW YORK, NY—In an effort to improve the newspaper's ability to communicate the truths that its readers want to hear, The New York Times announced Tuesday its new fact-checking process: running all facts and headlines by an angry mob of liberal protesters before going to print. Every fact and headline will be meticulously checked by a group of angry leftists before it's approved for publication. "The Times has become known for bringing you all the news that's fit to print as long as it doesn't challenge a leftist worldview in any way," said New York Times executive editor Dean Baquet....