Free Republic

BMW drivers have more sex. Astonishing, this headline, ripped straight from the pages of an upstart German car magazine for men called, quite Germanically, Men's Car, so you know it must be authoritative and irrefutable and dorky and niche-y and almost entirely pointless. So it must be true. Basically, the survey claims that Bimmer owners claim they get it on more times per week (2.2, to be far too exact) than Audi owners or Porsche owners or Mercedes owners or VW owners and much more than those poor sorry Volvo people, because, well, it's a Volvo, fer Chrissakes, and don't...

I love animals. All animals, especially dogs. And zebras. And snakes. And deer. Dolphins. Birds. The Olsen Twins. Ron Jeremy. Even cats. It's true. Cats are perhaps my least favorite but even so I recognize that they, too, are one of Goddess' little creatures and some are even friendly and funny and adorable and absolutely not always the aloof indifferent uncaring soul-sucking demons they often claw your face off to let you know they so very are. Plus, kittens are just way cute. Cats are good. Cats are OK. So who wants to see one of the happy furballs get...

Should a physician be allowed to turn you away if you're gay? Sounds like a no-brainer—but not if you live in Michigan. Michigan's House of Representatives passed a bill last week that permits doctors and other health care providers to walk away from a procedure, treatment, or prescription that violates their religious beliefs. The Conscientious Objector Policy Act, which was pushed by the state's Catholic Conference—and opposed by Michigan's Medical Society—clearly applies to abortions and morning-after pills. But its broad wording could cover other medical situations, such as stem-cell research. The bill bar physicians from denying patients access to contraception,...

Thank you for your time, Mr. President. Just a few questions, purely for clarification, so the American people might understand you better. I know you're busy, packing for another vacation or something. This won't take but a few minutes. Here, have a soda. Let's begin: 1) Mr. President, if a train leaves San Francisco at 10 am carrying 1,000 happily gay happily married couples and travels at 85 mph for three hours, while at the very same moment a train departs Crawford, Texas, loaded with 2,000 vaguely miserable Christian fundamentalists and nail-wearing fanatics of "The Passion of the Christ" and...

Can you hear the outcry? Can you feel the snippy puritanical heat? Can you feel John Ashcroft's hot, predatory breath bearing down on your life and your box of vibrators and your adult DVD collection and snatching away your copy of "Weapons of A-- Destruction #2" and smacking you across the face with a Bible, all before skipping off to the dungeon to feed the flying monkeys? Because while 9/11 and the process of gleefully decimating your civil liberties via the USA Patriot Act may have delayed him a few years, Ashcroft & Co. is back on the anti-porn warpath,...

Perhaps you, like so many across the planet, are more than a bit baffled by the runaway success of "The Passion of the Christ." Perhaps you, furthermore, are more than slightly disturbed that millions have flocked to this bizarre ultraviolent blood-drenched revisionist flick and that so many actually believe its story to be absolutely true, and that it just surpassed "The Return of the King" in total box office and is the No. 8 most successful film of all time and it was No. 1 again across BushCo's flyover states during Easter weekend and has sold 650,000 books and 125,000...