I’ll buy lunch, you fly the plane (Garrison Keillor)
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garrisonkeillor.com ^
| 2021? | Garrison Keillor
I am all in favor of diversity and inclusivity in theory, but when the pilot comes on the horn and welcomes us from the cockpit, I want to feel that he or she is a Republican. I want to hear authority in the voice, a growliness that comes from having shouted orders
at people. I do not want my pilot to come on singing “Off we go into the wild blue yonder” and if he does, I’m off the plane. If it’s a woman pilot, I want her to be crisp and chill, not warm and caring. If she mentions...
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Garrison Keillor to reunite with 'Prairie Home' companions for Christmas shows
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Star-Tribune ^
| Aug 19 2019 | Neil Justin
Those pining for the comforts of "Prairie Home Companion" are getting the ultimate Christmas gift. Garrison
Keillor will reunite with key members of the old gang for a series of holiday shows, starting with a performance Nov. 30 at the Pantages Theater in Minneapolis. Stops in San Francisco, New York and Atlanta have also been announced. The shows will include actors Sue Scott and Tim Russell, as well as sound effects wizard Fred Newman and musicians from Guy's All-Star Shoe Band. Most of the alum members remained on the radio program after Chris Thile took over in 2016, but were...
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Minnesota Public Radio details 'inappropriate behavior' allegations against Garrison Keillor
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Cleveland.com ^
| January 23, 2018
For weeks, Garrison Keillor's initial belief that he was "fired" from Minnesota Public Radio last November for simply touching "a woman's bare back" hung in the air, tempting his biggest fans with the hope that perhaps the creator of "A Prairie Home Companion" had been wrongly accused. "In
the allegations she provided to MPR, she did not allege that Garrison touched her back, but did claim that he engaged in other unwanted sexual touching," MPR president Jon McTaggart said in the letter. He later said that "the woman's attorney presented us with a 12-page letter detailing many of the alleged...
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'I think I have to leave the country': Garrison Keillor says he wants to 'move east' to escape…
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Daily Mail (UK) ^
| 17:13 EST, 30 November 2017 | Snejana Farberov
Humorist and long-time radio host Garrison Keillor, of A Prairie Home Companion fame, says he might have to move out of the country after being ousted from the Minnesota Public Radio for inappropriate behavior. Keillor,
the 75-year-old veteran broadcaster who is married, confirmed his firing on Wednesday, claiming that it stemmed from an incident from years earlier in which he says he accidentally touched an acquaintance’s bare back while attempting to console her. Keillor later took to Facebook, bemoaning his downfall after five decades of ‘hard work’ and lamenting that he was feeling ostracized everywhere he went. The post has...
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Minnesota Public Radio Drops Garrison Keillor Over Allegations of Improper Conduct
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New York Slimes ^
| NOV. 29, 2017 | MAYA SALAM
“I put my hand on a woman’s bare back,” he wrote. “I
meant to pat her back after she told me about her unhappiness and her shirt was open and my hand went up it about six inches. She recoiled. I apologized. I sent her an email of apology later and she replied that she had forgiven me and not to think about it.” Mr. Keillor claimed that they continued to be friends “right up until her lawyer called.”
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Donald Trump is done (Garrison Keillor)
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Chicago Tribune ^
| October 30, 2017 | Garrison Keillor
It's so sad. Donald Trump is done. He
couldn't get elected dogcatcher in New York, his hometown. There are 14 recorded instances of him kicking small dogs, and I have documentary proof of all but two of them. Plus many other instances of him running around grabbing women's cats. Knocked on the door, grabbed the cat, walked away. Just to show that a famous rich guy could get away with it. Where is the apology? No, the man couldn't even get a job as a school crossing guard in New York. Look at him leading his grandchildren toward the helicopter...
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Garrison Keillor on Donald Trump: We will survive this
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Pioneer Press ^
| August 11, 2017 | GARRISON KEILLOR
So. We have a vulgar, unstable yoyo with a toxic ego and an attention deficit problem in the White House and now we can see that government by Twitter is like trying to steer a ship by firing a pistol at the waves, not really useful, but what does it all add
up to? Not that much, if you ask me, which you didn’t, but I’ll say it anyway. We will survive this. He will do what damage he can, like a man burning books out of anger that he can’t read, but there will still be plenty of books...
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Looking a little closer at Garrison Keillor's last creepy old guy dispatch from Charleston
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Charleston City Paper ^
| Wed, Nov 29, 2017 | Sam Spence
Garrison Keillor, who pined so dearly for a carefree world consumed by mundane everyday life that he named his fictional radio town Lake Wobegon, is the latest major media dude to be canned for reported sexual misdeeds. Minnesota
Public Radio, the distributor of A Prairie Home Companion, has reportedly cut ties with Keillor, the show's creator. In light of that news, it's only appropriate to find that the last time Keillor traveled to Charleston a year ago, he recorded his adventures in perfect character for his recurring Washington Post column. Upon entering Jestine's Kitchen, Keillor fixates on the first waitress...
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Garrison Keillor fired, says he put hand on woman's back
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abcnews.go.com ^
| 11/29/17 | ap/ jeff baenen
Garrison Keillor, the former host of "A Prairie Home Companion," said Wednesday he has been fired by Minnesota Public Radio over allegations of what the network called improper behavior. Keillor
told The Associated Press he was fired over "a story that I think is more interesting and more complicated than the version MPR heard." Keillor didn't detail the allegation to AP, but he told the Minneapolis Star Tribune he had put his hand on a woman's bare back when trying to console her. "I meant to pat her back after she told me about her unhappiness, and her shirt was...
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BREAKING: Matt Lauer & Garrison Keillor HIRED! [satire, but could be true]
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Drango | 11/29/17 | Drango
Bill Clinton has hired Matt Lauer & Garrison Keillor to work at the Clinton Foundation. Anthony Weiner hired 4 months ago will be their newsupervisor
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Lake Gropey-Gone Days! Garrison Keillor Canned for Sexual Misconduct
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Rush Limbaugh.com ^
| November 29, 2017 | Rush Limbaugh
RUSH: Hey, there’s another one! Another
one, Garrison Keillor, Prairie Home Companion, fired for alleged improper behavior by Minnesota Public Radio. “Minnesota Public Radio has confirmed it fired Garrison Keillor after he was accused of inappropriate behavior. Garrison Keillor, the former host of A Prairie Home Companion,” and he used to be loved and adored by all touchy-feely progressives. In fact, I remember when this program began in August of 1988, it was within a year or year and a half that AP or somebody went out asked Garrison Keillor, “What do you think of this Rush Limbaugh, this new...
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Garrison Keillor fired by Minnesota Public Radio over allegations of inappropriate behavior
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Fox ^
| Nov. 29, 2017 | Katherine Lam, Brian Flood | Fox News
Garrison Keillor, the former host of "A Prairie Home Companion," was fired on Wednesday by the Minnesota Public Radio after the network received an allegation of "inappropriate behavior" against the radio personality. MPR
said in a statement it was “terminating its contracts with Garrison Keillor and his private media companies after recently learning of allegations of his inappropriate behavior with an individual who worked with him.”
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Garrison Keillor says fired over alleged improper behavior
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ABC News ^
| Nov 29, 2017
Garrison Keillor, the former host of "A Prairie Home Companion," says he's been fired by Minnesota Public Radio over allegations of improper behavior. Keillor
told The Associated Press of his firing in an email. In a follow-up statement, he says he was fired over "a story that I think is more interesting and more complicated than the version MPR heard."
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Republicans, beware. The tables will turn. - (Garrison Keillor BARF)
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Chicago Tribune ^
| June20, 2017 | Garrison Keillor
I am a registered liberal who mostly toes the party line but I am not devoted to the idea of big government. I
loathe the law in New York state requiring gas pump nozzles to not latch. This means that I must stand beside my vehicle, holding the nozzle lever open, instead of latching it and walking into the gas station to use the john which, if you're an older male and hear gushing liquid, you feel a powerful urge to do, so thanks to legislative over-regulation, I am on the verge of humiliating myself. Liberals believe in universal suffrage,...
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Garrison Keillor's wisdom shines through
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November 16, 2016 | From The Deer Stand
From the wisdom of Keillor: "So he won. The
nation takes a deep breath. Raw ego and proud illiteracy have won out, and a severely learning-disabled man with a real character problem will be president. We are so exhausted from thinking about this election, millions of people will take up leaf-raking and garage cleaning with intense pleasure. We liberal elitists are wrecks. The Trumpers had a whale of a good time, waving their signs, jeering at the media, beating up protesters, chanting “Lock her up” — we elitists just stood and clapped. Nobody chanted “Stronger Together.” It just doesn’t chant....
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Garrison Keillor: Done. Over. He's here. Goodbye.
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The Washington Post News Service, Bloomberg News via San Francisco Chronicle ^
| November 10, 2016 | Garrison Keillor, The Washington Post News Service, Bloomberg News
So he won. The nation takes a deep breath. Raw
ego and proud illiteracy have won out and a severely learning-disabled man with a real character problem will be president. We are so exhausted from thinking about this election, millions of people will take up leaf-raking and garage cleaning with intense pleasure. We liberal elitists are wrecks. The Trumpers had a whale of a good time, waving their signs, jeering at the media, beating up protesters, chanting "Lock her up" -- we elitists just stood and clapped. Nobody chanted "Stronger Together." It just doesn't chant.
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Snob Alert: NPR Star Keillor's 'Surprisingly Vicious' Trump Attack
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NewsBusters ^
| September 5, 2016 | 8:26 AM EDT | Tim Graham
Longtime National Public Radio star Garrison Keillor just finished four decades on state-subsidized radio on A Prairie Home Companion. For almost that long, he’s been an easy example of a pretentious liberal snob, precisely the kind who seriously loathes a Donald Trump. If NPR ever wanted to wonder why they haven’t been
granted a Trump interview, it’s because he knows NPR is an elite liberal sandbox for people who congratulate themselves on their marvelous taste and mental acuity. So when Keillor penned an acidulous character assassination of Trump for the Chicago Tribune, the liberals were very pleased. At Vox.com, they...
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Garrison Keillor: Praise The Lord, I've Seen The Dark (barf alert but funny)
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Tampa Bay Times ^
| Friday, July 22, 2016 | Garrison Keillor
A week ago I felt good about America but no more. Coyotes
are running freely in the streets of our big cities, the stock market is teetering on the verge of collapse, the monetary system will soon go belly-up, China and North Korea and Iran have a knife to our throats, our schools are in chaos, politicians corrupt, the media stupefied by political correctness, and everywhere you look you hear foreign accents. We are on the edge of the abyss. At my house, we've begun fortifying the basement walls with sandbags and laying in barrels of fresh water and K-rations....
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Garrison Keillor to Retire
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WCQS.org ^
| July 24, 2015 | Michelle Keenan
In an recent interview with the Associated Press Garrison Keillor says he plans to step down as host of A Prairie Home Companion (APHC) after the 2015-2016 season. The
72 year old said, "I have a lot of other things that I want to do. I mean, nobody retires anymore. Writers never retire. But this is my last season. This tour this summer is the farewell tour."
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Get rhymin’! Poems wanted for Garrison Keillor contest
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BringMetheNews ^
| 4-2-15 | Shaymus McLaughlin
April kicks off with a day for fools, but spends the rest of its weeks celebrating meters, diction and iambic pentameters. Yes,
it’s National Poetry Month. And as part of a celebration of the written word, Garrison Keillor is once again using his Common Good Books in St. Paul for a poetry contest. It’s the third straight year, and Keillor himself is offering $5,000 in prizes – three winners will get a grand apiece, and four runners-up will each get $500. The theme this year? “Dear you.” So the work must be a letter to a “specific, living person,” the...
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