Posted on 04/24/2018 9:50:02 AM PDT by SeekAndFind
Someone asks "I have friends who are gay and planning a wedding. They know my beliefs on homosexuality — that it is not God's creative design. I'm expecting to receive a wedding invite anytime. What should I do?"
Tim writes:
These are tough questions — at first glance. What do I mean? One could agonize over such a question, but I believe the follower of Christ would recognize that he or she has one loyalty — to Jesus Christ. That means doing what the Bible says.
I could refer to that text about not being unequally yoked — meaning a believer should not marry a non-believer, but there's a more basic argument here.
A wedding is a God-ordained event. Genesis 2:21ff reads, "So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man."
Notice that God Himself brought the woman to the man. God is pictured as the father of the bride.
Many Christians will have differing answers to this question and various arguments. I do not believe a Christian should attend such a wedding for this basic reason ... this is not a "get-together" or a social event. God Himself is being called on to oversee this solemn event and those in attendance are "witnesses" of it.
Remember, God ordained this holy event.
That's my answer. Having said that, I am not opposed to inviting the couple to a dinner at a local restaurant sometime later where I treat them to a meal. Why? There is no theological conflict here and such a meal would provide an opportunity to enjoy the meal and conversation. This is in my thinking a way to say "I value each of you as persons and appreciate your friendship."
This keeps the doors of communication open.
There is no need to discuss why you did not attend the wedding; place the focus on the present time — a meal and fellowship. If there are pointed questions from the "couple," "why did you not attend the wedding?" deflect them with a bright smile and something like "we wanted to enjoy your presence in a smaller setting." Then move the conversation in a different direction.
You want to keep the lines of communication open while honoring Christ. It can be a fine line to walk, but it can be done — because "with God, all things are possible."
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Tim Wilkins is the creator of the conference MORE THAN WORDS which focuses on walking (versus talking) people out of homosexuality. MORE THAN WORDS has been conducted across the United States among various denominations. Tim's expertise in this area of ministry stems from his own freedom from homosexuality some thirty years ago. He advocates people turn down the heat on the issue and turn up the light. www.crossministry.org
To repeat: the annulment wouldn't mean they were never married in any sense at all. They were probably joined in the eyes of the law. But not in the eyes of the Church, and that because of some defect at the beginning that would have annulled the formation of lifelong bond.
Yes, I'd attend the "second marriage" if the Church had determined it was actually the first and only marriage with a lifelong sacramental bond.
And I forgot an important part. If the first spouse had DIED and the person seeking another spouse was a widow/widower, then there’s no problem. The death of spouse is the end of a “til death do us part” vow.
I find the annulment out a convenient "after-the-fact" determination which can be applied to any marriage. The mere fact that there might be adultery involved is simply deemed the "evidence" of some non-binding intent.
In other words, "Catholic divorce."
If it is not marriage, then what was Moses 2nd union? Was it condemned by God? What did Jesus have to say about being enevenly yoked? There is no contradiction of God’s Word except within our own limited understanding. I try not to be a Pharisee.
I think I would have been fervently looking for another job after the initial invite.
No
I fully agree with you on that.
You may call it what you wish. But there is no comparison between what is involved in annulling a marriage in the Catholic church and the wave-of-a-hand-bang-of-a-gavel process for obtaining a divorce. Yet you honor the second and mock the first.
What percentage of Catholic annulment requests are denied?
I’d bet that they are in the low single digits.
Solomon had 700 wives. Are you suggesting that we should emulate that?
Was it condemned by God? What did Jesus have to say about being enevenly yoked?
Let's see what Jesus had to say:
"And the Pharisees came to him, and asked him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife? tempting him. And he answered and said unto them, What did Moses command you? And they said, Moses suffered to write a bill of divorcement, and to put her away. And Jesus answered and said unto them, For the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept. But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. And in the house his disciples asked him again of the same matter. And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her. And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery." - Mark 10-2-12.
There is no contradiction of God’s Word except within our own limited understanding.
Where am I contradicting God's word?
When and if the officiant utters the traditionally obligatory solicitation of whether anyone sees any reason why the two cannot be joined, stand up and yell:
"Yes, I do. They are two dudes, for God's sake!!! What is WRONG with you people?"
Then turn around and storm out.
.
NO!
Endorsement of sin is sin.
.
The percentage granted is very high. But that's because the Church will tell the couple ahead of time whether it looks like their situation might meet the requirements for an annulment. If it doesn't then the process isn't even started. Divorce has no such screening that I'm aware of.
IMHO
1. If they were having a civil ceremony in front of a judge, I would be more inclined to attend (but still highly reluctant), IF they were actual family.
2. Under no circumstances would I attend if it were a religious ceremony asking for God’s blessing on the union (I think I just threw up in my mouth a bit).
I like the idea of taking them out for dinner after the fact as a way of explaining my beliefs in a non-hostile, non-confrontational manner.
I say that partly because the United States, with 6 percent of the world’s Catholics, accounts for 60 percent of the annulments.
The number of annulments granted annually in the US was something like 300 in 1968. Then a new "psychologizing" of the grounds for annulment started taking hold with the new-thinky canonists in the tribunals in US and the English-speaking countries --- plus Germany --- and was codified in the new Code of Canon Law in 1983. Reasons like "psychological immaturity" had rocketed the number of annulments to about 30,000 by the mid-'70's, surging again up to to a peak of over 60,000 a year by the early 90's.
Even in those years, the annulment rate stayed low in almost all other countries. You'd see numbers in the teens or low 20's for some places in Catholic Asia and Catholic Africa.
That's why, especially in the Anglosphere and Germany/Austria --- anywhere a law is abused --- it becomes a joke. But it's not that way always and everywhere.
I would never suggest such a thing, so why try to put words in my mouth.
"Where am I contradicting God's word?"
Your pretend to be pious just like the Pharisees, as indicated by the Biblical quote you cited. Can you see the irony in your position?
"And Jesus answered and said unto them, For the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept, ..."
John 8:10 Jesus said to her, Woman, where are your accusers? Has no man condemned thee?" She answered, "No man, Lord." Then Jesus said to her, "Neither do I condemn thee; go, and sin mo more."
I’m not really sure I’m getting the point you’re trying to make. You will not go to a gay wedding because it is not an valid marriage in the eyes of God. I agree with that. It isn’t marriage as defined in the Bible But pointing out other marriages that are not valid in the eyes of God as well makes me a Pharisee?
I will not celebrate a gay wedding because the deliberate promotion of any sin is an egregious affront to God's Holiness. Homosexuals have an anti-Christian agenda to promote their sinful lifestyle. I wouldn't equate that with people who get divorced, as I don't believe people get married with the intent to get divorced.
"I agree with that. It isn’t marriage as defined in the Bible by the RCC. But pointing out other marriages that God RCC as well makes me a Pharisee?"
Would you agree that there are differing degrees of sin? Some committed knowingly and willingly, and others committed out of ignorance or unwittingly. To lump them all together is Pharisaical and is in direct conflict with the Words and deeds of Jesus.
LOL!!!
Post o’ the day!
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