Concerns about Cremation: Some Very Strange Practices Are Emerging

Some years ago, the Church gave wider permission for cremation and also lifted traditional restrictions on having cremated remains present in the church for funeral Masses. All of this is pastorally understandable. Very few if any people these days choose cremation for the reasons it had traditionally been forbidden, namely as a denial of the resurrection of the body. Generally the reasons chosen are economic, due to the increasingly high cost of traditional burial and the difficulty, especially in urban areas, of finding room for large cemeteries. The basic norms from the church regarding cremation are these:

The Church earnestly recommends that the pious custom of burying the bodies of the dead be observed; it does not, however, forbid cremation unless it has been chosen for reasons which are contrary to Christian teaching (Code of Canon Law No. 1176, 3).

Although cremation is now permitted by the Church, it does not enjoy the same value as burial of the body. The Church clearly prefers and urges that the body of the deceased be present for the funeral rites, since the presence of the human body better expresses the values which the Church affirms in those rites (Order of Christian Funerals no. 413).

The cremated remains of a body should be treated with the same respect given to the human body from which they come. This includes the use of a worthy vessel to contain the ashes, the manner in which they are carried, and the care and attention to appropriate placement and transport, and the final disposition. The cremated remains should be buried in a grave or entombed in a mausoleum or columbarium. The practice of scattering cremated remains on the sea, from the air, or on the ground, or keeping cremated remains in the home of a relative or friend of the deceased are not the reverent disposition that the Church requires (cf Order of Christian Funerals # 417).

From a pastoral point of view, these norms are clear and understandable. However, as a pastor, I must say that I have growing concerns over practices that are appearing with the more widespread use of cremation.

The norms clearly indicate that cremated remains are not to be scattered, divided, or retained in the homes of the faithful on fireplace mantles, on shelves, or in other places. But these norms are somewhat difficult to enforce.

The problem emerges essentially from the detachment of the funeral Mass from interment. When cremation is chosen, it is common for the funeral Mass to be celebrated quickly but the burial to be scheduled at some “later date” when arrangements can be more conveniently made. Frequently clergy are told that the family will “call back” at some point in the future. But often these calls never come and burials are put off indefinitely.

Issues such as money, logistics, and family disputes are often factors in the delay. Priests, too, are often busy and do not have time to follow up to see if “Uncle Joe” is ready for burial now. As such, many deceased remain unburied for weeks, months, or years, or perhaps never even buried at all.

I was shocked a couple of years ago to discover that a certain Catholic family still had the cremated remains of an uncle on the top shelf of their closet. The delay centered around who in the family was going to pay for the burial lot and debates about whether burial was even necessary at all. Perhaps the ashes could just be scattered out in the woods.

Without the urgency to bury the dead, the burial is often given little regard.

Another concern came to my attention during recent funeral preparations. There was a tense debate going on among the assembled family members as to who would get to keep the ashes and who would not. The crematorium had offered to dispense ashes to different family members in sealed boxes or urns (for a price of course) and the debate seemed to center on whether certain family members were “qualified” to get some of “Mom” or not. Yikes! And when I instructed them that no division of the remains should take place at all, but rather that burial had to be arranged, I was greeted with puzzled stares and eventual “assurances” that such burial would be arranged “in due time,” once the family could work out their differences.

But things have gotten even worse.

Many funeral homes are now offering “jewelry” made from the cremated remains of loved ones or with the remains sealed within the jewelry. If you don’t believe me, click HERE, HERE, or HERE. The ghoulishness and bad taste are surpassed only by the shock of how suddenly such bizarre practices have been introduced. One can imagine the following awful dialogue: “Hey, that’s pretty new jewelry! Was that your Mom’s?” “Well, actually it is Mom!” Double yikes!

Cremation is certainly here to stay. And I do not doubt there are sound pastoral reasons for its use. However, the norms of the Church insist that cremated remains be treated with the same respect as the body. And just as we would not scatter body parts in the woods, or divide up limbs and torsos to distribute to family members, or put fingers into resin and wear them as earrings, neither should we do this with cremated remains. These ARE the remains of a human being and they are to be buried or placed in a mausoleum with the same respect due the uncremated body.

I think pastors are going to have to teach more explicitly on this matter and that bishops may need to issues norms that will help to prevent problems. One helpful norm might be to refuse to celebrate a funeral Mass until proper burial is scheduled. I am unclear if a pastor alone can do this, but surely a diocese must also have an increasingly firm and clear policy of which people are widely informed.

Simply permitting cremation without well-thought-out policies has proven to be a mistake. I pray that a post like this may provoke thought from all of us in the Church as to how to deal pastorally with a situation that is degrading quickly. We must do some teaching, but we also must not cooperate with bad practices.

The website of the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops has proposed a possible solution for Catholic cemeteries to offer to families who are financially unable to bury the cremated remains of loved ones:

For some families, the choice of cremation is based on financial hardship, so this choice often means also that there is no plan for committal or burial of the cremated remains. As a means of providing pastoral support and an acceptable respectful solution to the problem of uninterred cremated remains, one diocese offered on All Souls’ Day in 2011 an opportunity for any family who desired it the interment of cremated remains. The diocese offered a Mass and committal service at one of its Catholic cemeteries and provided, free of charge, a common vault in a mausoleum for the interment of the cremated remains. The names of the deceased interred there were kept on file, though in this case they were not individually inscribed on the vault. [1]

I am interested in your thoughts and experiences and hope to share them with my bishop and my fellow clergy

My mind immediately had similar questions regarding saints and relics. In the comments following the article, Pope did address the issue a bit. He wrote:

“Over on Facebook I was asked why the practice of using relics does not also offend against the usual Catholic norms. Regarding relics let us remember: the practice is rare, their whole body isn’t dispersed (only a relatively small amount of fragments of bone or hair). Such relics are to be venerated and placed in areas of religious devotion in Churches, chapels and (rarely) in homes. But they are not put to be put in closets, merely displayed on fireplaces, strewn in fields and forests, or made into jewelry. If one has possession of a first class relic they do not venerate, they ought to return it to the local diocese so a place can be identified where such veneration and respect can be given. Finally, such veneration is only permitted in rare cases of canonized saints, as such the practice is an anomaly and should not set the norm for how we treat all bodies.”

He later added:

“Please see my reply above in this thread regarding this matter. I don’t think it is far to say that saints bodies are “divided” or that the Saints bodies are not “intact” Rather, at least in the past centuries, since rules and limits were placed on PAST excesses and there were excesses), only small fragments of bone or hair are dispensed and only for canonized saints who had been buried prior to their canonization and whose bodies ARE largely intact. Part of the whole battle over the body of Fulton Sheen revolves around the modern norms that bodies are not to be divided up and put in different places as sometimes happened in the early centuries. I think Peoria can and should be Sheen’s resting place in the future (since he was under-appreciated by the Archdiocese of NY in his day…but I digress). If relics are dispensed they will be only a small portion of the body. The same is true with Saint JPII. His body is still intact in Rome. Though a small number of relics have been dispensed. But it is not fair to say that “body parts” are being sent around.”

When I die, I want to be cremated as soon as possible before autopsy and dissection, embalming, if possible.

My mother (absolutely the best person I have ever known, and a devout Christian) knew she was dying. She had a terminal woman's cancer. My father died less than a year later of a heart attack, although I think the real cause was a broken heart.

Both were adamant that as little of their life savings be spent on disposing of their "shells" as possible. They wanted their estate dedicated to their grandchildren's education.

They pre-arranged for something called "direct cremation" which basically involves cremating the body with no embalming, no preparation, no viewing. The "casket" that contains the body is little more than a sturdy cardboard box. The monetary expense was less than $1000.

Like any family, we had to deal with the loss of our parents, but from a logistical standpoint, it wasn't difficult. Rather than grieving publicly at a funeral home, we did so privately in their home. We received visitors at home, rather than the funeral home.

In both cases, we had an outdoor memorial service at the church of their youth, and their ashes were buried in the same plot. They conceded that my sister and I might buy a small plain marker that had both of their names and dates. We buried the box the ahes came in using a post-hole digger ourselves.

The church hosted a pot-luck lunch in the fellowship hall following both memorials. It was like a family reunion. The experience was beautiful, they would have enjoyed it enormously, and in no way was anything disrespectful or shabby-feeling.

Both of their grandsons are in college, and the legacy they left for them will have much more impact than spending it on a a traditional funeral costing thousands.

I plan direct cremation for myself, but my wife wants a traditional burial. If I go first, she'll keep my ashes and have them put in her casket, so we'll be buried together.

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