Posted on 11/11/2014 8:56:22 PM PST by Salvation
Always give your marriage another try
06/11/2014
There are two foundations that can never be separated: love and memory. Just as a true disciple never forgets the first hour when the master touched his heart: “It was about four o’clock in the afternoon” (Jn 1:39) – and, as Pope Francis says, a believer is essentially “one who remembers“– so the same could be said for love and marriage.
Today’s video, as all the videos that we post on Catholic-link, is beautiful to watch but is even more beautiful to share. Be it in the social networks, in the classroom, or in your family, countless numbers desperately need hope: hope for love, hope for a faithful “yes”, hope that marriage is possible, hope that marriage is worth the obstacles that at times seem terrifying. They need someone to remind them that not only is love possible, but that we are made for love.
Memory keeps us tied to reality, to our own reality. It allows us to answer the question, “Who am I.” Yet memory can also be deceiving if we don’t know how to use it or train it. If I am in a relationship of any kind –including the relationship with ourselves–, I have the choice to remember certain events more than others. Often, when we find ourselves poor in love, it’s because we are capricious in what we remember.
I would also recommend you:
A love history for the ages (Love in marriage)
It is easy to remember the faults, defects and offenses. In addition to the emotional scar or mark they might leave in us, remembering them gives us a great excuse to be lazy, and feel justified in doing so. “Well, she looked at me like that the other day so….” Or, “He corrects me for doing this, but he has done it 20 times last week!” And so on and so on.
What if we decided –because it is a decision– to remember more the good, and to forgive and forget – at least in so far as it is possible– the bad. What if that first spark of love, if fanned each day with tender care, could truly become an eternal flame?
Healthy realism reminds us that some days, loving the other requires more effort. Perhaps the loved one is going through a trying time: anxiety, depression, sickness, lack of motivation, etc. Things are effectively really tough and one feels like he or she is giving 100% while the others gives nothing in return. Even on an affective level, sometimes you might feel like you are running on an empty tank. Impossible to go forward? Isn’t it time to give up? No, because that’s where memory comes in. Memory is the backup in the “Cloud”, the reinforcements that drop in for that vital support. Mary had it right when she learned to keep all things in her heart (Lk 2:51).
What’s more, as Christians, we are urged to never forget who we are. For we were created by God who is Communion of Love, who created us in and for loving communion. Rupture, conflict, divorce are NOT NATURAL for man, rather unity, communion, and love. And no matter how much the daily trials might seek to convince us otherwise, we must never cease to enter into our interiors, to intensify our relationship with God, and ask him to remind us who we are.
This changes everything. In considering the difficulties in the relationship, the starting point is that of communion and love. Conflicts are no longer merely problems, they are deformations of a more beautiful, more human communion that must be reconciled in order to reach what we were made for. Awareness of our natural call can sharpen the pain of rupture, yet it also gives us the strength and vision to renew what has been lost.
“God calls you to make definitive choices, and he has a plan for each of you: to discover that plan and to respond to your vocation is to move forward toward personal fulfillment. God calls each of us to be holy, to live his life, but he has a particular path for each one of us. Some are called to holiness through family life in the sacrament of Marriage. Today, there are those who say that marriage is out of fashion. Is it out of fashion? In a culture of relativism and the ephemeral, many preach the importance of ‘enjoying’ the moment. They say that it is not worth making a life-long commitment, making a definitive decision, ‘for ever’, because we do not know what tomorrow will bring. I ask you, instead, to be revolutionaries, I ask you to swim against the tide; yes, I am asking you to rebel against this culture that sees everything as temporary and that ultimately believes you are incapable of responsibility, that believes you are incapable of true love. I have confidence in you and I pray for you. Have the courage ‘to swim against the tide’. And also have the courage to be happy.”Pope Francis
If you mean "No-Fault" divorce, you are correct. One of the worst ideas ever. And if you mean one partner just ruining things with selfishness, you are correct about that, too.
If you mean “No-Fault” divorce, you are correct.
If a judge is so powerful that he can undo something that was done in the name of God why can`t he spend a little time with it instead of making it just a matter of paper work?
But the main idea as far as Christians are concerned is to follow the teachings of Christ, Jesus said to forgive, not seven times but seventy times that.
And he also teaches against selfishness but I believe we can go too far using the excuse of one person running every thing because that is nothing but a matter of pride.
In many cases it is the person that resents some one else running it that has a pride problem rather than the person running it.
1 John 2:16
For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world.
Proverbs 16
18
Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall.
19
Better it is to be of an humble spirit with the lowly, than to divide the spoil with the proud.
It is understandable that some one who has never heard the gospel of Christ would not know, but what about Christians who listen to sermons week after week month after month year after year, why don`t they know this?
Could it be because the preachers are too busy preaching religion and Church or preaching what they perceive as sin, like using tobacco?
Or maybe it is because many are Christian in name only and could not care less what the scriptures say.
At any rate if the gospel was preached more it would weed out a bunch.
Preaching hell does not affect people too much because the make believers do not believe in it or are confident that it is for every one else but them.
Preaching what Jesus said about forgiveness should weed them out because pride is a deadly thing.
Ok, just my thoughts.
Then watch the link in the article for older couples.
While that may be true, it is very, very hard for a man if his wife runs everything, including bossing his mother, father and siblings, as well as gelding her husband and children, using access to the children as her leverage. She needs to allow her husband his proper position as the spiritual leader of the home.
Likewise, there is little worse for a good wife than a man who will not take up his responsibility to make decisions wisely and be fully engaged in sorting out life's steps with his partner. Even a man with a passive disposition will be supported by a tactful wife in learning how to discern, decide and lead.
I like to read the British online newspaper DailyMail. They frequently run stories about the Duggar family. It is saddening to read the scorn and even vitriol that many of the fallen-away Brits and U.S. readers heap on that family, who are joyfully devoting their lives to chastity, faith, family and clean living, with 19 very sweet children and several grandchildren to show for it -- and not a cent of welfare.
“Sometimes its just not worth it.”
To obey God?
It is saddening to read the scorn and even vitriol that many of the fallen-away Brits and U.S. readers heap on that family,
She needs to allow her husband his proper position as the spiritual leader of the home.
That is exceptionally good advice. I’m not married (wish that I was ); I will
try to remember, tho’, just in case ;)
So if the guy is beating his wife, she should stay in hopes he’ll turn it around?
Bless you. Pray for the partner God wants you to have.
Thank you. That is such positive encouragement. Not sure I deserve it, tho’.
kg/nancy
“So if the guy is beating his wife, she should stay in hopes hell turn it around?”
Is that what you think God has told us?
Start today. Begin with yourself, and your relationship to your Savior. Tell Him all your concerns. Be faithful in listening for the guidance of the Holy Spirit. Even if it takes a longer time than you expected, He will lead your steps if you let Him.
Thank you. That is wonderful guidance... I want you to
be right...it seems like I have already waited a long time.
kg/nancy
No, I’m just asking a question.
I think it is good to remember that God is infinitely loving and just. It is perhaps equally important to remember that, as William L. Brown wrote, “The attempt to make God just in the eyes of sinful men will always lead to error.”
It is my understanding that a woman is allowed to separate from a husband who beats her.
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