Posted on 11/11/2014 8:56:22 PM PST by Salvation
Always give your marriage another try
06/11/2014
There are two foundations that can never be separated: love and memory. Just as a true disciple never forgets the first hour when the master touched his heart: “It was about four o’clock in the afternoon” (Jn 1:39) – and, as Pope Francis says, a believer is essentially “one who remembers“– so the same could be said for love and marriage.
Today’s video, as all the videos that we post on Catholic-link, is beautiful to watch but is even more beautiful to share. Be it in the social networks, in the classroom, or in your family, countless numbers desperately need hope: hope for love, hope for a faithful “yes”, hope that marriage is possible, hope that marriage is worth the obstacles that at times seem terrifying. They need someone to remind them that not only is love possible, but that we are made for love.
Memory keeps us tied to reality, to our own reality. It allows us to answer the question, “Who am I.” Yet memory can also be deceiving if we don’t know how to use it or train it. If I am in a relationship of any kind –including the relationship with ourselves–, I have the choice to remember certain events more than others. Often, when we find ourselves poor in love, it’s because we are capricious in what we remember.
I would also recommend you:
A love history for the ages (Love in marriage)
It is easy to remember the faults, defects and offenses. In addition to the emotional scar or mark they might leave in us, remembering them gives us a great excuse to be lazy, and feel justified in doing so. “Well, she looked at me like that the other day so….” Or, “He corrects me for doing this, but he has done it 20 times last week!” And so on and so on.
What if we decided –because it is a decision– to remember more the good, and to forgive and forget – at least in so far as it is possible– the bad. What if that first spark of love, if fanned each day with tender care, could truly become an eternal flame?
Healthy realism reminds us that some days, loving the other requires more effort. Perhaps the loved one is going through a trying time: anxiety, depression, sickness, lack of motivation, etc. Things are effectively really tough and one feels like he or she is giving 100% while the others gives nothing in return. Even on an affective level, sometimes you might feel like you are running on an empty tank. Impossible to go forward? Isn’t it time to give up? No, because that’s where memory comes in. Memory is the backup in the “Cloud”, the reinforcements that drop in for that vital support. Mary had it right when she learned to keep all things in her heart (Lk 2:51).
What’s more, as Christians, we are urged to never forget who we are. For we were created by God who is Communion of Love, who created us in and for loving communion. Rupture, conflict, divorce are NOT NATURAL for man, rather unity, communion, and love. And no matter how much the daily trials might seek to convince us otherwise, we must never cease to enter into our interiors, to intensify our relationship with God, and ask him to remind us who we are.
This changes everything. In considering the difficulties in the relationship, the starting point is that of communion and love. Conflicts are no longer merely problems, they are deformations of a more beautiful, more human communion that must be reconciled in order to reach what we were made for. Awareness of our natural call can sharpen the pain of rupture, yet it also gives us the strength and vision to renew what has been lost.
“God calls you to make definitive choices, and he has a plan for each of you: to discover that plan and to respond to your vocation is to move forward toward personal fulfillment. God calls each of us to be holy, to live his life, but he has a particular path for each one of us. Some are called to holiness through family life in the sacrament of Marriage. Today, there are those who say that marriage is out of fashion. Is it out of fashion? In a culture of relativism and the ephemeral, many preach the importance of ‘enjoying’ the moment. They say that it is not worth making a life-long commitment, making a definitive decision, ‘for ever’, because we do not know what tomorrow will bring. I ask you, instead, to be revolutionaries, I ask you to swim against the tide; yes, I am asking you to rebel against this culture that sees everything as temporary and that ultimately believes you are incapable of responsibility, that believes you are incapable of true love. I have confidence in you and I pray for you. Have the courage ‘to swim against the tide’. And also have the courage to be happy.”Pope Francis
Oh, and if you buy the house before the marriage, as a single person, she’ll still get it.
Sometimes it’s just not worth it.
I didn’t watch the vid, but guess not everybody was sold on it...
That is slowly changing, at least in my state. I am finding more and more it is the “single dad” who have the kids with him full time; as is my situation. I got the house too.
Sounds sexist to me.
/sarc
That love history link is great too.
“Cheaper to keep her,” so they say. Truth be told, love, like faithfulness does not have a price tag.
Beginning Experience, a peer facilitated weekend for those who are grieving the loss of a loved one
Then watch the marriage history link.
Amen!
I don’t have enough data in my data plan...usually, I click these links to read the comments...
hhaha..
After walking that divorce mile, it is amazing to me how much the divorce industry (and it really is an industry) has tilted and slanted stories against those with testicles.
Bottom line however, once the divorce is done doesn’t mean everything is a cake walk. As a male, you WILL pay for “equality” within family court by means of a good lawyer.
(I might note too, if you -not you wastedyears- are unfortunate enough to be going through a divorce; if the law firm or attorney has to rely on advertising; you won’t fair well them. Find a good one and get ready to pay if you want any semblance of freedom post divorce.)
When living under conditions where spouse is not there, i.e. single parent, the Church is the best place to keep one’s bearings, because the Church always consists of Bride and Bridegroom, therefore family joined bodily in Christ between Creator and creation in the truest love. Much hidden under the cross. We walk by faith, not by sight. The Lord bless you and your family.
So true!
Not too interested in marriage at the moment. I’m not even seeing anybody. I certainly don’t want to have kids, as I have multiple factors working against me. Kids would be used as unwilling bargaining chips, and that’s another reason I don’t want kids.
They BOTH look 12 years old and we KNOW that the guy's mustache was PAINTED on.
Sorry, kiddo, it was all balderdash fantasy. :o)
ALL true.
GOOD for you. I'm sure you're a good dad.
You got the HOUSE?! Wow, DOUBLE good for you.
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