When I was stationed in Germany, a friend of mine invited me to a very conservative Latin mass. Understand that I was on crypto duty and had to be back on base within 20 min so I had a pager to let me know if I was needed. Understand that I was raised Southern Baptist and had never so much as seen the inside of a Catholic church.
Sure enough, in the middle of mass, I got the vibration from the pager and was able to stop it before it started pinging. I quietly moved out of the pew and to a door on the right. At the door, I encountered a nun who was all of 4 foot 2 at the most and 90 years old if she was a day.
Unfortunately, she did not speak English and I did not speak German. The good sister kept whispering and gesturing for me to go back to my seat. However, I needed to get out that door cause I needed to get a cab and get back to base. Well after a couple of minutes of both of us miming our case, I decided that the only way I was going to go out that door was to move the nun and step past her. So I, as gently as I possibly could, picked up the nun and moved her out of my way. Through the door into a very nicely kept garden, a quick turn and out the gate to the street where I grabbed a taxi and was just barely back to the crypto vault in time.
Now for the rest of the story...
I found out later that I had caused quite the scandal. It seems that the door that I left out was reserved for the nuns as it led to the garden that separated the Church from the Convent.
Opps.
Hmm. I’ve certainly never heard of a “nun” door, but maybe it was something specific/traditional to that particular church. Still, LOL at the mental picture of you lifting the 4 foot Sister up and out of your way! ;-)
A few years ago there was a freeper who posted about taking his father to church. It was a liberal church and they had a sacred dancer performing. His father was hard of hearing and spoke very loud. When the sacred dancer finisher her performance his father said: “ What the hell was that.” Of course everyone in the church heard it and had to bite their tongue.
LOL