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I'd Kill Myself if I Had That Many Kids
NC Register ^ | July 30, 2014 | Matthew Archbold

Posted on 07/30/2014 1:44:17 PM PDT by NYer

My wife and I recently attended a sports banquet for one of our kids' sports teams at a local restaurant. It was one of those events that I wanted to go to about as much as I wanted to get three teeth pulled. But my wife assured me it would be fun. I didn't believe her but I came anyway.

We've gone to so many of these things as my five kids are on at least three sports teams. All the kids sat together at a long table and all the parents sat at another table with the coaches. I have a theory about sports teams, the worse a team, the more coaches it has. And this team had lots of coaches.

We were seated with about eight coaches and some parents we didn't really know.

So what's the first thing someone we don't really know will bring up as a conversation starter? Well, it's the only thing they know about us which is that we have five kids. This one coach said he knew it was us when we arrived because he saw all five of our kids walking in. "That could only be the Archbolds," he laughed.

The mom directly across from me, who I didn't really know and hadn't seen at many games, leaned in conspiritorially and asked, "Who has five children? I'd kill myself if I had that many kids."

Dopey me, I actually felt embarrassed for her. I figured she couldn't hear that well and didn't know who they were talking about and would regret her comment when she learned it was the man and woman sitting directly across from her.

I shouldn't have worried. The coach seemed flummoxed, pointed at us, and then quickly engaged in a conversation on the other side of the table.

(Excerpt) Read more at ncregister.com ...


TOPICS: Catholic; Humor; Religion & Culture
KEYWORDS: catholic
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To: Slyfox

I made same comment to some nosy Beotch in a Macy’s store once. I was with an employee of mine (Russian Legal Immigrant) and her sister had just given birth to her 12th child. We were standing in check out lane and I was telling her how thrilled I was to hear of the new baby. Said they were all so well behaved. A woman behind me (from Boulder, Co) jumped into our conversation and said how disgusting it was to have so many children. My employee, being immigrant, was stunned to silence.

I was not silent. I turned around and explained that I was the youngest of 14 children from the same parents. Not one of us ever was arrested. 14 people and their spouses paid an abundance of taxes. Not one of us had ever received welfare, disability, food stamps or any other type of charity. We all had at least high school and some college.

Needless to say, the lady tucked tail and ran. Guess she didn’t need her shopping items after all.


61 posted on 07/30/2014 2:45:09 PM PDT by I_be_tc
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To: Slyfox

By the way, Beautiful Family!


62 posted on 07/30/2014 2:45:46 PM PDT by I_be_tc
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To: Tax-chick

It doesn’t sound bad at all. I must clarify that hubby has not made me feel bad for being pregnant or having children. My in laws on the other hand are another story. :(


63 posted on 07/30/2014 2:50:47 PM PDT by petitfour
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To: petitfour

Oh, that’s a little easier, I would think.


64 posted on 07/30/2014 2:52:03 PM PDT by Tax-chick (No power in the 'verse can stop me.)
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To: Kartographer

I know and I bet her kid is alternately spoiled and neglected.


65 posted on 07/30/2014 2:52:05 PM PDT by Jean2 (i)
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To: NYer

I have five children and someday I’ll have more. If you don’t let the kids sit in front of the TV getting their ideas from Hollyweird then five kids is not so big a problem. But anyone who lets liberals raise their families via the media will have issues even if they just have one child.


66 posted on 07/30/2014 2:53:34 PM PDT by MeganC (It took Democrats four hours to deport Elian Gonzalez)
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To: NYer

Understand that if you say that, what you’re actually saying is “I’m not that confident in my parenting skills.”


67 posted on 07/30/2014 2:57:32 PM PDT by RichInOC ("Catholic doctrine and discipline may be walls; but they are the walls of a playground."--GKC)
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To: NYer

Pay no mind. A woman at the market poked her daughter and pointed to me as I was walking in with three under three.

Fast forward thirty years and I was told that I and my Catholic kids were going to overpopulate the world. My response was “ yes. And they will have two biological parents raising them in stable intact homes”

Fast forward twenty years and yup. As I said. So thankful.


68 posted on 07/30/2014 3:03:08 PM PDT by amihow
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To: GeronL

Grandma didn’t say “cheese.”


69 posted on 07/30/2014 3:04:39 PM PDT by Slyfox (Satan's goal is to rub out the image of God he sees in the face of every human.)
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To: Jeff Chandler

My dad had seven siblings, my mom, three. baby boomers.

their parents came from larger families than that.


70 posted on 07/30/2014 3:14:31 PM PDT by Secret Agent Man ( Gone Galt; Not averse to Going Bronson.)
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To: NYer

Then everyone can laugh at me too. Our five kids kept the people in back of us entertained. LOL!

Keep having fun, Matt!


71 posted on 07/30/2014 3:16:55 PM PDT by Salvation ("With God all things are possible." Matthew 19:26)
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To: I_be_tc
There was actually one child missing who had not been born yet at that photo session.

People make fun of the Duggers. I heard all that as I was growing up. Now when I say I have six sisters and three brothers, you know, they get that look on their face of absolute shock as if they just bumped into an alien species.

72 posted on 07/30/2014 3:17:33 PM PDT by Slyfox (Satan's goal is to rub out the image of God he sees in the face of every human.)
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To: Salvation
Our five kids kept the people in back of us at church entertained. LOL!
73 posted on 07/30/2014 3:18:20 PM PDT by Salvation ("With God all things are possible." Matthew 19:26)
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To: NYer
The mom directly across from me, who I didn't really know and hadn't seen at many games, leaned in conspiritorially and asked, "Who has five children? I'd kill myself if I had that many kids."

We had five. I've always thought that was a very nice size.

74 posted on 07/30/2014 3:18:43 PM PDT by Lee N. Field ("And if you are Christ's, then you are Abraham's offspring, heirs according to promise" Gal 3:29)
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To: Slyfox
We all pay our taxes and none of us have been to prison.

The girl right in the middle could stand to cheer up.

75 posted on 07/30/2014 3:21:23 PM PDT by Lee N. Field ("And if you are Christ's, then you are Abraham's offspring, heirs according to promise" Gal 3:29)
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To: RichInOC; petitfour
Understand that if you say that, what you’re actually saying is “I’m not that confident in my parenting skills.”

"Is it my fault that you're not as awesome as I am? No, it isn't ... but I can understand that you're jealous."

76 posted on 07/30/2014 3:28:45 PM PDT by Tax-chick (No power in the 'verse can stop me.)
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To: NYer

Maybe 3 years before she died, I took Mother and Daddy shopping. As we got out of the car Mother pointed to a family and said “5 little doorsteps”. When I looked I realized what she meant tho I had never heard the phrase before.

Mother clearly thought they were something special.


77 posted on 07/30/2014 3:31:54 PM PDT by yarddog (Romans 8: verses 38 and 39. "For I am persuaded".)
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To: Tax-chick

I hope I made it clear I was referring to the title. If not, I do apologize.


78 posted on 07/30/2014 3:40:46 PM PDT by RichInOC ("Catholic doctrine and discipline may be walls; but they are the walls of a playground."--GKC)
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To: NYer
One couple in our parish has adopted 6 and are adopting 2 more. Another couple has 6 and the wife says she has no good reason to stop. a third couple has 6-7 natural and 3-4 adopted (I can't keep it straight, but neither can their father). a fourth couple has 7 and one on the way and a fifth couple just had their eighth.

Raising the Catholic population one pew at a time.

79 posted on 07/30/2014 3:44:14 PM PDT by verga (Conservative, leaning libertarian)
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To: Lee N. Field

We ended up with four...I guess we were “lite weights”!


80 posted on 07/30/2014 3:45:43 PM PDT by mdmathis6
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