Everything Personal:Children Born of Rape or Incest

Touchstone Magazine ^ | January/February 2003 | Russell E. Saltzman

[Remedy]

I belong to an on-line support group (me, in a sup-port group, there’s a picture) composed of adult children born of rape or incest. There are more of us in the former category than the latter. Jennifer is our webmistress, organizer, facilitator, coach, head nanny, chief nag (though very nice about it), and the child of a violent rape. Mostly, I lurk. But for some in the group, I am a kind of unofficial chaplain and sometime pastoral advisor. There are children born before Roe v. Wade as well as children born after Roe v. Wade. The handles adopted by some in the group are evocative: "former fetus," "unawares angel," names like that.

We tell stories about how we found out about our birth circumstances, what that knowledge has meant. For every one of us, it was a discovery. No one was raised knowing the circumstances of his birth, but all of us are adoptees who simply wanted to know our origins for medical reasons or just to gain a more complete personal sense of identity. Finding we were children of rape was an incidental outcome, but always a fundamental shock. The biographical fact of adoption, frequently problematic in its own way, can become impossibly complicated with that extra layer of detail squatting on top of it. My conception and birth were the product of stepsibling incest.

If you want a genuine encounter with Angst 101–all the old "why am I here?" questions with none of the sophomoric abstractions attached–our chat room positively wallows in it, and for understandable reasons. These are ordinary people, after all, fairly attuned to the ordinary pulses of good and evil in this world, trying to come to grips with how their life can be the result of something that was so horrifically bad for someone else. Still, as I always ask when that question arises, cannot a child born of rape be an instance of God working good from evil, a lesson that Joseph learned and then taught to his brothers?

We get into discussions about our discussions with pro-choice advocates. There isn’t one of us who hasn’t been told by a pro-choice supporter that support for abortion, especially in those hard cases like rape, is, of course, "nothing personal." I’m sure the delegates at the Presbyterian Church (USA) meeting in Columbus, Ohio, late last June would say the same thing. The PCUSA general assembly voted 394 to 112 in support of an unrestricted right to abortion, at least until such time as the fetus can survive outside the womb. Thereafter, abortion should be done only to preserve the life of the mother, to "avoid fetal suffering," or in cases of rape and incest.

The Presbyterians have adopted a position similar to that of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America, and like the ELCA, PCUSA’s medical benefits plan for clergy and church workers regards an elective abortion as a reimbursable medical expense. There is no reimbursement for an elective nose job, even if your nose is big enough to qualify as a county in Rhode Island, but that’s just policy, nothing personal. (I am a pastor in the ELCA, but I dropped out of the health plan years ago over its support for abortion.)

Back to Angst 101. Everyone deals with issues of birth and origin–well, they do if they are conscious and sentient. The perilous biologic journey of sperm and egg from conception to zygote to blastocyst to embryo to fetus is just so much random chance that particular questions about the particularity that you represent are inevitable. If somebody had a headache that night, you wouldn’t be here. If the 64-some cells that formed the blastocyst had failed to travel the fallopian tubes, you wouldn’t be here. If the blastocyst had failed to implant itself on the uterine wall, you wouldn’t be here. There are a thousand natural reasons why you should not be here, and the chances of your being here at all are unutterably impossible.

The chances of pregnancy from rape are even chancier. Actual pregnancies resulting from reported rapes are ridiculously miniscule, point-oh-oh-oh-something per thousand. But it is always somebody’s bad luck when they do happen and the "ifs" roll on. If she had stayed out of the parking lot that night; if she had been more aware of her surroundings; if the guy she met hadn’t been a twisted creep; if her stepbrother hadn’t forced her on the sofa. If.

Absent a creator–absent God, the Father almighty, maker of heaven and earth–your conception and birth are exactly that, dumb blind chance. Yet we say that God, the Father almighty, maker of heaven and earth, made you. And me. And a very talented, warm-hearted woman named Jennifer, with two sweet kids of her own. Her body itself, and my body, aging though it is, carries a living and breathing rebuke to those who regard human life as a matter of convenience. Against all appearances to the contrary, imagine this: God, the Father almighty, maker of heaven and earth, made her, made me, made you. It is more personal than the Presbyterians or the Lutherans will admit.

Russell E. Saltzman is pastor of Ruskin Heights Lutheran Church, Kansas City, Missouri, and editor of the independent Lutheran publication Forum Letter. This is reprinted with permission from the August 2002 Forum Letter, and is copyright 2002 by the American Lutheran Publicity Bureau.

[Remedy]

• Concerned Women for America - Family Voice

• Rape and Incest are Tragic, But Abortion Doesn't Heal the Pain

• Victims and Victors:Speaking Out About Their Pregnancies, ...

• Why Can't We Love Them Both

[anniegetyourgun]

Of course, pregnancy arising out of rape is very rare. But isn't it interesting that the perp usually walks, while the baby gets a death sentence?

[G Larry]

BUMP!

[AuH2ORepublican]

"Of course, pregnancy arising out of rape is very rare. But isn't it interesting that the perp usually walks, while the baby gets a death sentence?"

---

Very well put. Our Constitution prohibits "Corruption of Blood" (punishing children for the sins of their fathers), yet many allegedly "pro-life" politicians support abortion in cases of rape or incest. Why should an unborn baby be killed because her father was a rapist? Yet liberals and "moderates" oppose the death penalty for rapists, while imposing it on innocent children.

Innocent human life is innocent human life, no matter what its origin. There are millions of married couples in America who cannot conceive a child of their own and would want nothing better than to be able to hold and love and raise a child whose mother chooses not to keep because he or she is a product of rape or incest. Let's do the right thing and protect innocent life; everyone will be better off in the end.

[babygene]

Though it is true that the baby conceived during a rape is innocent and does not deserve to die, it is the product of a heinous crime. Although it's sad, life isn't always fair.

One could argue that a pregnancy that resulted from a rape was a continuation of the rape, since all of the tissue from the rapist had not been removed from the woman. One could also argue that a woman has a right to self-defense, and should not have to tolerate ANY risk (physical or emotional) or inconvenience or expense as a result of a sexual assault. Although the risks to the woman are slight during a pregnancy, there are risks involved to her life. Should she have to take those risks when it was forced upon her?

It would be my guess that rape related pregnancies would occur more often with underage girls, since an adult female would be more likely to report in and seek immediate medical attention. The physical risks to a child are even greater than an adult female.

This brings up another point: The D&C that is performed in a hospital in treatment of a rape victim is basically an abortion. Should this procedure be banned when treating rape victims?

How would you react if, like in the thread the other day, your 9 year old daughter was raped and conceived? Clearly the risk to her life would be tremendous. Would you disapprove of an abortion if it was your child, and you thought it might make the difference of life or death to her? I didn’t think so…

Regarding incest, I think there is no justification for abortion in these cases unless rape was involved as well. Incest shouldn’t be bundled with rape in this discussion.

[SarahW]

"This brings up another point: The D&C that is performed in a hospital in treatment of a rape victim is basically an abortion. Should this procedure be banned when treating rape victims"

Who on earth told you D&C's are routinely performed on rape victims?

For accuracy's sake, The LAST thing a doctor want's to treat a rape victim with is a D&C, intrumentation of the uterus would vastly multiply her chances of infection.

Rape vitims are treated with progesterone or morning-after pills, which will delay ovulation and/or cause the uterine lining to shed, preventing implantation of any fertilized egg.

Speaking for myself, I would take every step possible to prevent fertilization/implantation.
I would never willingly give birth to a rapists child. If I bear a child, it will be not only mine, bu my *husbands* and noone else's.

I would never give a genetic edge to the strategy of rape.

[Question_Assumptions]

Bump for later.

[babygene]

"Who on earth told you D&C's are routinely performed on rape victims?"

OK, but they didn't have morning after pills a few years back, and they did indeed do a d&c to stop any pregnancy.

However if you believe life begins a conception, it's the same thing... it's still an abortion and you are killing the child.

Killing is never good, however sometimes it has to be done. ie; war etc.

[Chancellor Palpatine]

Rape vitims are treated with progesterone or morning-after pills, which will delay ovulation and/or cause the uterine lining to shed, preventing implantation of any fertilized egg.

Speaking for myself, I would take every step possible to prevent fertilization/implantation. I would never willingly give birth to a rapists child. If I bear a child, it will be not only mine, bu my *husbands* and noone else's.

I would never give a genetic edge to the strategy of rape.

Best answer I've seen yet on the question of an abortion for the raped and pregnant 9 year old

Also a great answer on the rape kits some of you abhor.

[AuH2ORepublican]

"One could argue that a pregnancy that resulted from a rape was a continuation of the rape, since all of the tissue from the rapist had not been removed from the woman."

---

It's not the rapist's tissue, it's a baby. It's a completely new life form.

Next to murder, rape is the most heinous crime imaginable, and, as I stated before, I believe we should impose capital punishment on rapists. Rapists are the scum of the earth, and do not deserve to breathe the same air we breathe. But the baby, an innocent party in this crime, does not deserve to die. While I understand perfectly well that it would be very difficult for a woman to raise a child conceived during her rape (and believe me, as a married man, I can tell you it would not be much easier for her husband), the morally correct decision would be for the woman to carry that child until his or her birth, and then give him or her up for adoption to one of the many families that would provide a good home for the child. I know it wouldn't be easy or pleasant for the rape victim or her husband, but I don't think killing her baby will make her feel any better.

As for the hypothetical regarding the 9-year-old, unless continuation of her pregnancy actually placed her life in jeopardy (in which case I would have to support whatever measure would save my daughter's life), I would hope and pray that I would be strong enough to stand up for the right to live of the baby conceived through no fault of his or her own. And I would hope and pray that my daughter understood that two wrongs don't make a right, and that killing her baby won't erase the memory of what happened to her.

That is what my conscience tells me is right.

[Chancellor Palpatine]

Cheap for you to exercise your conscience, since you aren't the one living with the consequences, physical and emotional of that rape. Of course, that is the core of what being a social conservative is - forcing large numbers of other people by law to live by your personal moral code when they don't agree with your definitions.

In case you've not noticed, one full term of pregnancy is not an insignificant percentage of a woman's life.

I'll also add that the story about the 9 year old is real.

[colorado tanker]

Bump for later read.

[dpa5923]

How would you react if, like in the thread the other day, your 9 year old daughter was raped and conceived?

Pregnancy for a nine year old is extremely dangerous. This is a cause of the mother's life being in jeopardy and every one has a right to protect their own life even at the risk of another’s life. But this is a far cry from the inconvenience issue you raised.

Everyone deals with inconvenience when it comes to others rights. I find it inconvenient that I must wait in line at the movie theater or that my father was unable to leave his children anything because he was so saddled with debt or that while my friends got gifts on their birthdays, I got a pat on the back and a hearty hug.

But my inconvenience doesn't allow me to infringe on another’s right (especially the right to life). Granted the emotional strain a woman would have to deal with from carrying and deliver a child from rape would be intense and I feel for that woman, it is not justification for murder of an innocent third party.

[jwalsh07]

Can they "interupt" their pregnancy... or bear it out and remain a nun... or be required to leave their order because of the involuntary "soiling" of their vows?

The only "soiling" going on here is being done by you.

[AppyPappy]

Would you approve of killing your grandchild if you found out they were a product of rape?

[AppyPappy]

OK, but they didn't have morning after pills a few years back

We had them in college in the 70's.

[AppyPappy]

Cheap for you to exercise your conscience, since you aren't the one living with the consequences, physical and emotional of that rape

Cheap for you. You just kill the child.

[AppyPappy]

I'll also add that the story about the 9 year old is real.

Would you feel the same way if the woman was 29?

[babygene]

Clearly I would love my grandchild if it were born, just as I love all of my grand children. I would counsel my child to keep the details of his or her start in life from the child.

However, I would not have ask, or suggested to my daughter that she take ANY risk to bring this child to full term.

I was married in the sixtes. I was and am Catholic. At that time, the church taught that if there was a problem with childbirth, the baby should be saved, and not the wife. I didn't agree with that then, and I don't agree with it today.

Incidentally, I'm still a practicing catholic, as all of my kids and grandkids.

dpa5923,

I did mention inconvience. I think I said some may argue... My belief is that for a young rape victim, the consequences to giving birth would be so tramatic as to effect them for the rest of their life. An abortion would be less tramatic, and depending on the age, could be unknown to the girl. I would choose the later.

I hope you understand, I do not believe in killing... Even in war or capitol punishment. However I would take this burden on myself to protect my family. I would not look back for an instant.

...I would also take the life of a drug dealer who sold drugs to my grandkids...