Return of the ugly American (Euro-barf)

The Guardian (U.K.) ^ | 08/26/2002 | John Sutherland

[Pokey78]

A redneck country singer is tops with the guys in uniform. No wonder Dubya invited him to the White House

Driving across America is to traverse a mosaic of local radio stations. Outside the metropolitan areas, two kinds of programme dominate: the God channels and "C&W". Bible-bashers threatening hellfire and fat guys with silly hats, twanging geetars, fu-manchus and pony tails, serenading purty gals, Chevy Tahoes, bars duskily lit by Budweiser neon, and the "real" values of red neck and blue collar.

Both are profoundly ideological - country even more so than the Lord in these post-9/11 times. Country is homeland.

Since July, one song has dominated the C&W charts, Toby Keith's Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue (The Angry American). It's not just the guitar plucker who is angry. Keith's "patriotic hit" has enraged liberals (what's left of them). He was scheduled to do the show-opener in the ABC's big July 4 TV celebration but was dropped at the last minute at the insistence of the presenter, Paul Jennings.

Jennings is from that distinguished generation of newscasters who dragged middle America back from the Vietnam madness. He rejects the doctrine that America's foreign policy is best conducted by B52. Jennings took particular exception to the chorus: "Oh, justice will be served / And the battle will rage / This big dog will fight if you rattle his cage / You'll be sorry that you messed with the US of A / Cause we'll put a boot in your ass / It's the American way."

(If you haven't heard it, Keith's song has a melodic resemblance to Don McLean's American Pie - gentler chauvinism, for a more thoughtful time.) The bit about the boot in the ass (which is, patriotically, not bleeped in broadcasts) gets wild applause at Keith's concerts. Nowadays, the singer dedicates the song to Peter Jennings ("He's Canadian, isn't he?") which gets a sarcastic roar. In a bizarre evocation of the film Wag the Dog, Senator Zell Miller (Georgia) sent Paul Jennings a pair of boots. Others followed.

The commander-in-chief of the Marines fighting in Afghanistan has, reportedly, told Keith, "Look, the country needs this song."

Toby's tops with the guys in uniform. He has given an invitation concert on the battleship New Jersey and has done a triumphant tour of US bases in former Yugoslavia, kicking ass all the way. Oliver North (remember him?) tells listeners to his talk show that it's their patriotic duty to buy Keith's record. But it doesn't need Ollie's endorsement.

When the single was reissued on the CD Unleashed, with a picture of Toby and a pit bull out-scowling each other, the album sold 338,000 copies in its first week. On the 9/11 anniversary, sales will go nova.

America likes to see itself as the world's mad dog. Keith's battle hymn of George Bush's republic climaxes with the rabid threat: "Hey, Uncle Sam put your name / At the top of his list / And the Statue of Liberty started shaking her fist/ And the eagle will fly / And there's gonna be hell / When you hear Mother Freedom start a-ringin' her bell / And it'll feel like the whole wide world / is rainin' down on you / Brought to you courtesy / Of the Red White and Blue."

"This," Keith explains blandly, "was the way everybody felt when they saw those two buildings fall." And who is the "you" on whom "hell" will rain? Think axis of evil. Think blood, rubble and revenge.

Dubya, country to the core, loves Keith. After Jennings boycotted him Bush personally invited the singer to the White House, to play the Star Spangled Banner (shades of Hendrix) at a presidential dinner. And who, you ask, was Clinton's favourite singer? That self-confessed fag ("Everybody hurts") Michael Stipe. A wimp president's wimp. Angry American, Ugly American. What's the difference?

[evolved_rage]

Gee, doesn't one's neck turn red from working hard out of doors? Stupid lazy Euros. I suppose if they weren't so dirty they might be able to get a slight bit of neck color from sipping espresso outside.

[Chi-townChief]

"And who, you ask, was Clinton's favourite singer?"

That one's easy - it's whomever Clinton is sucking up to at the moment.

[Jorge]

America likes to see itself as the world's mad dog.

LOL

[diggerwillow]

I expected a lot worse with the barf alert. Except the line "Jennings is from that distinguished generation of newscasters who dragged middle America back from the Vietnam madness," it could have been alot worse.

[RainDog]

This kid can write.

Even so, I would be pleased to see a boot go up his ass.

[wallcrawlr]

I think over half of 'em are gay over there.
He'd probably enjoy that boot.

[Welsh Rabbit]

And who, you ask, was Clinton's favourite singer?" That one's easy - it's whomever Clinton is sucking up to at the moment

Exactly. I'm sure the Slickster was talking to an MTV crowd when he claimed Michael Stipe was his favorite singer. I somehow doubt a man his age owns many REM albums.

[dfwgator]

Thanks to us "Ugly Americans", the Brits and the rest of their Euro counterparts aren't licking the boots of the Nazis or the Commies.

[Looking4Truth]

Yeah, and what kind of music do we get from eurosnots? Techno-crap monotonous thump-thump for hours, girlie-boys too numerous to mention, that Bjork thing, and even though I hate most hip-hop, I've got to laugh at the euro-weenies cheap imitations.

Now The Who, Scorpions and probably a few of that genre that I can't remember I'll thank them for but they're in the minority.

[bok]

A redneck country singer is tops with the guys in uniform. No wonder Dubya invited him to the White House

Oh goody the limeys have finally shown their true colors! I love it! Always remember fellow american citizens it's the british and their beloved commonwealth of nations against you and your rights, always pride yourself that you are no longer attached at the hip to these people.

[Jean S]

Oh goody the limeys have finally shown their true colors!

This is the Guardian. They represent the most liberal of what you call the limeys. Don't judge a country by it's most liberal newspaper. Do you want the rest of the world to judge the U.S. by what is published in the New York Times?

[Bogey78O]

'A redneck...'

From Euro-trash I consider that an ethnic slur.

[BraveMan]

The Celebrity Death Match I'd like to see . . .
V.S.

[ItisaReligionofPeace]

The EuroTrash are as bad or worse than our cowardly elite liberals. This is what we were heading to until 9/11. Hopefully we began a U-turn on that day.

[Looking4Truth]

That's hilarious but toilet-boy would probably enjoy it too much.

[ItisaReligionofPeace]

Good point.

[evolved_rage]

Our elite liberals always whine "Why can't we be like Europe" to which I usually say "Move to Europe!" Considering that most Europeans today are descended from cowards not willing to cross the Atlantic and build a new nation, our liberal elite are just as cowardly, not willing to move back to Europe where they would be happier.

[weegee]

The "ugly American" may have returned in fashion for the Euros but it appears that the "ugly limey" has never left.

[Looking4Truth]

Our elite liberals always whine "Why can't we be like Europe" to which I usually say "Move to Europe!"

There are some of those liberals who actually have. On one hand they aren't hypocrites since they plan on retiring there, but on the other hand they are because they are doing it as DOD civilians and contractors meaning that they don't have the same tax burdens as regular euros. Those jerks are living a lie on our dime.

I know because I worked in Germany as a DOD civ for a while.

Also, I can't confirm this yet, but I believe that 'same-sex partner' benefits are provided for DOD civs in Europe since living there is such a 'hardship'. Lot's of them I figured were homos but never paid attention until I got that info after moving back to the States.