Posted on 05/24/2002 7:01:05 PM PDT by Caleb1411
I'm considering becoming a leftist. Leftists lead the life of Riley. Of course, such ethnic idioms must cease. Leftists hold the best real estate. San Francisco, Berkeley, Beverly Hills, and Seattle are havens for the tolerant elite. Honolulu has so many leftists that it ranked 199 in Forbes' analysis of 200 places to do business. Balmy breezes and pineapple do not abide capitalists. Leftists aren't in Phoenix with 110-degree summers and 110,000 scorpions or Fargo with wind chills that freeze fillings.
And, oh, the leftist crowd and glitterazzi do commune. Chelsea Clinton sat with Gwyneth Paltrow and Madonna at the Versace spring fashion show. A Bush daughter with fake ID and a real Prada backpack couldn't crack that social ring. Dick Cheney has succumbed to celebrity leftist temptation. He will travel to Africa with save-the-world Bono. Neil Simon had no odder couple, but Cheney's flesh was weak.
Leftist parents don't spank, they mollycoddle. The parents of that daft, smiling mailbox teen bomber, Luke Helder, who idolized grins so much that his targets formed a smiley face, are pieces of work. The father assured that their beloved lad with the pipe bombs "is not dangerous" and bemoans their lack of understanding as his parents.
You can spot leftist parents from a zip code away because they spout platitudes of friendship with their felonious progeny. Leftist parents follow the path of least resistance, in awe of youthful exploration, even when it involves death or dismemberment.
Those of us out here using corporeal punishment, and living with grumpy children forced to tow the line, grow weary of our unpopularity. When John Walker Lindh's mother saw him upon his return from Afghanistan, she pledged her love and support. A local talk radio host said, "What mother wouldn't do the same, even for a traitor?" Whereupon my oldest son chimed in, "Right here. My mother would meet me at the plane with a paddle. Jail would look good."
The popularity of leftist parents is exceeded only by the popularity of ex-presidents of the leftist genre. Enter Jimmy Carter, stage left Havana, courting a Nobel by cuddling with fascist Fidel. How pleased the folks chained in prison and those destined to become shark bait as they make the freedom trek to Key West must be to see their oppressor embraced by a peanut farmer whose greatest presidential act was leaving.
What is it about Cuba that charms celebs and other leftists? Alanis Morissette says she found herself there. Among the children with no milk and humans with no rights? Sen. Barbara Boxer took Mickey Hart, the Grateful Dead drummer, another odd couple, with her on what has become the pop pilgrimage of the ribbon-lapelled crowd- Cuba through Castro's delusional eyes. It's ever so chic to "hang" with Castro, as Mr. Hart describes it. Political prisoners hang with Castro, too, in the literal sense.
Leftist skills in selective oblivion are unsurpassed. Despite temptation, I cannot surrender the profound conviction that distinguishes conservatives from leftists. We conservatives will not be suckered, except occasionally by televangelists with bouffant hair, of both genders. The central plank of the conservative platform is that principle trumps all and tough love stops licentiousness. Principle earns Mr. Bush grief from his own party. Leftists couldn't bring themselves to condemn Clinton for adultery in the White House, perjury in depositions, and money changing in the Map Room, but conservatives jump all over Bush for a weak education bill and weaker support for Israel.
Castro opens his doors and Enron-like facade to any drummer, star or San Francisco lefty for the very same reason celebrities open their homes and hearts to Barbara Walters. There will be no hardball.
Castro can spot a rube from an island away. And Jimmy Carter is a big one. He has been a PR tool for Arafat while his foundation rakes in Arab funding. Carter was also a fool for that charmer Daniel Ortega, playing his hammer and Habitat for Humanity card to help a cruel and unusual dictator. He jumped in, unsuccessfully, to aid the Sandinistas in Managua. Is it a surprise that Amy Carter is a mess?
Dangerous leaders know leftists are gullible egotists who make ideal patsies because they ask no questions and bring along their media friends for positive press. Children play leftist parents for fools in the same way. In the parent/leftist mind, children and dictators can do no wrong.
Leftists are like Susan Johnson, fiancée to Arthur Bach in the film, "Arthur." She says, "The right woman could stop you from drinking." Conservatives are like Arthur who responds, "It would take an awfully big woman." Playing the anti-leftist role is a tough, lonely job that mandates a flag on the lapel, a dose of honesty and more than an occasional rebuke - of brats and dictators, which is what brats become and remain, with help from indulgent leftists.
JWR contributor Marianne M. Jennings is a professor of legal and ethical studies at Arizona State University.
Yes! With a choke hold around its neck until it has absolutely no life in it.
. . .Despite temptation, I cannot surrender the profound conviction that distinguishes conservatives from leftists. We conservatives will not be suckered, except occasionally by televangelists with bouffant hair, of both genders. The central plank of the conservative platform is that principle trumps all and tough love stops licentiousness.
Main Entry: lib·er·al·ism Pronunciation: 'li-b(&-)r&-"li-z&m Function: noun Date: 1819 1 : the quality or state of being liberal 2 a often capitalized : a movement in modern Protestantism emphasizing intellectual liberty and the spiritual and ethical content of Christianity b : a theory in economics emphasizing individual freedom from restraint and usually based on free competition, the self-regulating market, and the gold standardThat was from Merriam Webster Online.
By all means
Only if you mean 150 years ago when being liberal meant you believed in personal liberty, freedom, natural law and not socialism.
I sometimes tell people, when asked if what party do I belong to, that I am 150 year old liberal.
Those of us out here using corporeal punishment, and living with grumpy children forced to tow the line, grow weary of our unpopularity.
I always thought that it was "toe the line."
If I could be guaranteed that I would be the elite and you would be the worker that would make my life-style possible, then maybe I would be a Leftist.
My only problem is that I can't figure out how to force *you* to work if all of the benefits come to *me*.
Sigh.
I was all ready to get PO'ed and had a pleasant laugh instead.
Half the SCOTUS, anyway. The lefties line up to do obeisance to Souter, Ginsburg, and Stevens.
For a modest fee, Jesse Jackson (Extortionists R Us) will provide the tutelage you need.
I think the savvy Ms. Jennings knew her headline would be good for an initially visceral reaction.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.