Yeah well he was unfaithful, and despite the fact that I kept the house spotless, was thin and not fat, was not an alcoholic, a gambler, a drug user, gave him sex whenever he wanted it, stay at home mom, devoted to my family, and the worst name I ever called him was “jerk”, made holidays for his family for 23 years, had dinner every night on table at 6, and we had no debt, it wasn’t good enough, he took up with his college girlfriend, who was also a Democrat and a millionaire, whose husband was in prison and I got left in the cold. Now annulled by Catholic church, waiting for God to bring love and not horror into my life, apparently hopelessly, as God hasn’t done diddly for me.
Your situation is indeed lamentable. That said, you are still quite angry about it. It might be easier for God to come to your aid if you allowed your natural goodness, which you have in abundance, to come to the fore. Only with God will you find peace and the ability to forgive the grievous wrongs you have endured.
I’m very sorry. Marriage is so difficult. I’ve failed while being a great wife like you describe, and I sure don’t want another husband, just a boyfriend with his own life would be great. I never want to have a controlling mean person in my house with me, because I become the victim too easily apparently, always trying to be fair and make things work. Marriage only works if both people give a damn.