1. NEVER do the same chore two days in a row. If you do, that chore becomes yours in perpetuity.
2. Chores. When your wife gives you a chore, take some time to check it out. Take a day researching it on the internet. Order something - Anything. Take two days ‘waiting’ on the part(s). Take a day gathering the tools together and ‘schedule’ the repair. By this time maybe she’ll have forgotten about it.
3. My daughter likes to ‘flinch’ whenever her husband is with her out in public like he’s going to beat her. They both laugh but then he gets a funny look on his face like he’s been had.
4. Wife in hospital just after having baby holding it. Nurse comes in to do checks and says “is this the father?” Wife says, “That’s my husband, but I’m not sure about the father part.”
5. Never tell a woman that she farts in bed, sometimes loud enough to rouse her from sleep. Also, never tell a woman one boob is lower/higher than the other.
Back when I was still ‘playing’ husband/harry home owner, SHE kept griping about the 10 bucks or so a week I was paying a kid to mow the lawn - which really needed mowing twice a quarter (in season)BUT he was handy when it came to cleaning gutters, raking leaves etc etc etc
I finally gave in and bought a lawnmower and set out to mow the lawn...first pass I took out some plants and such and she blew a gasket so my job was to make sure there was gas for the mower as she assumed the duty.
Always figure screw something up and they will NEVER ask you again AND they get a charge out of being able to say you can’t ‘do anything right’..
She used to tell me I was so miserable no one would show up at my funeral and I just told her it wouldn’t bother ME a bit but it might embarrass her -IF she decided to show up but I would show up at hers just to make sure the ‘right person’ was in the box.
We did last 40 some years but admittedly only conversation from me the last 15 or so was a grunt now and then...<: <: <:
“2. Chores. When your wife gives you a chore, take some time to check it out. Take a day researching it on the internet. Order something - Anything. Take two days ‘waiting’ on the part(s). Take a day gathering the tools together and ‘schedule’ the repair. By this time maybe she’ll have forgotten about it”
Wife: Oh that’s okay, Honey, I’ll just call The Guy.
Said chore gets done quick one way or the other. Peace and love
2. Or hired someone to do it and gave the bill to you. ;)
If she is under 18, that flinch bit is downright dangerous. There are people who call child protective services out of paranoia of middle class child abuse.