To me a good Christian use their words to save the living and a poor ones uses theirs to chastise the dead.
As my Pastor teaches you have far greater chance to say to the lost “Let me show you how to live life in abundance” than to berate a lost soul with “You are going to hell.”
Jesus preached to the lost the unquenchable fires of hell and the flesh eating worm that doesn't die. This is the eternal torment, which God's justice demands, that Jesus came to save men from.
One must first know why Jesus offered himself up as an atonement for sin. Men must know that they have a choice before them: (1) to accept Jesus' payment for their penalty, or (2) pay it themselves in the Lake of Fire for all eternity.
That is an essential part of the gospel. One is not "berating" a lost soul, but rather telling him the truth about the course that he is on.
Firefly and Serenity with their Shepherd Book taught a false gospel, that all one needs to do is believe (something). That is a false assurance. It is a lie of the deceiver.
It doesn't sound like you or your pastor do much evangelizing. Those of us who do recognize that the gospel will be an offense to many. We understand that we will be hated because of its perceived intolerance. We seek to please God, not men. The servant is not greater than his master. If they hated Jesus for telling them the truth, they shall hate us.