You might be a New Yorker if
- in your neighborhood dogs live in apartments and people live in the streets
- you think there’s something wrong when you *don’t* hear car horns during drive time
- you have to pay an exorbitant fee to drive across a bridge to get home (but they’ll let you go away for free)
- every block in your neighborhood has at least a dozen restaurants, but almost none has a church
- making eye contact with someone on the street causes that person to cover his wallet
- moving 4 blocks East/West in a taxi takes as long as moving 20 blocks North/South
- if you find an open parking space on a side street, you get ticketed because it’s alternate-side-of-the-street parking due to some obscure Jewish holiday
- your windshield is dirtier *after* the squeegee guy gets to it than it was before (the whole point is to pay them off to go away, stupid tourist)
I could go on, but I’ve got to go put my dead washing machine in my front lawn
Thank you!