“I’m not going to re-marry with a foreign woman either, even one from a more traditional values culture, because it would always be in the back of my mind that she is just marrying me for the money and to get into the US.”
True, I’ve considered it, but if you go that route, you pretty much have to permanently relocate to her country, to avoid the perils you are talking about.
LOL. I don’t want to move out of country, but I have discovered Asian women seem to better than American women.
After the wife cheated with first guy, I went to an Asian massage place, got a really nice genuine hour long massage and then a “happy ending”.
After she cheated with TWO more guys over a few more years(including an ex, who was ironically half-Japanese), I decided “what’s good for the goose is good for the gander” so I met a Japanese woman online who lived north of DC and we met at a hotel halfway. She was actually nicer than American women; she brought food she made! and handmade soap as gifts!
The first mistake made that day was I forgot the checkout time and a black maid walked in and screamed when she saw us (probably pale and glowing like elves in Lord of the Rings)
Only that one time hooking up with another woman; it was the least I could do considering the dozens of times the creature known as my wife has hooked up with guys.
Yes, it seems like the only way to do it is to emigrate to her country, make clear that you are never going back to the US (to eliminate the ones who only want a green card), and make it clear that the cash flow stops when you die (to give her an incentive to keep you healthy). Then give her some cash flow towards her retirement.
If you treat it as you are hiring an employee to do your housework and warm your bed, then you will be unlikely to be disappointed. If there is some actual affection there, that's a bonus.