Posted on 03/23/2016 11:30:09 AM PDT by C19fan
No need any dude can now use the ladies room...
And to demonstrate inclusiveness, the Mayor will show how they are used
The idiot you posted is the first idiot I thought of when I read the title of the thread.
While doing my research on this I came across this letter.
AN OPEN LETTER TO
MR. JAMES THATCHER,
BRAND MANAGER,
PROCTER & GAMBLE.
February 6, 2007
Dear Mr. Thatcher,
I have been a loyal user of your Always maxi pads for over 20 years, and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core™ or Dri-Weave™ absorbency, I’d probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I’d certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can’t tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there’s a little F-16 in my pants.
Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from “the curse”? I’m guessing you haven’t. Well, my “time of the month” is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I’ll be transformed into what my husband likes to call “an inbred hillbilly with knife skills.” Isn’t the human body amazing?
As brand manager in the feminine-hygiene division, you’ve no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers’ monthly visits from Aunt Flo. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it’s a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend’s testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey’s Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy! The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in capri pants. Which brings me to the reason for my letter.
Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: “Have a Happy Period.”
Are you ******* kidding me?
What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness—actual smiling, laughing happiness—is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you’re some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there will never be anything “happy” about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlúa and lock yourself in your house just so you don’t march down to the local Walgreens armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory. For the love of God, pull your head out, man. If you just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn’t it make more sense to say something that’s actually pertinent, like “Put Down the Hammer” or “Vehicular Manslaughter Is Wrong”? Or are you just picking on us?
Sir, please inform your accounting department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flexi-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bullshit. And that’s a promise I will keep. Always.
Best,
Wendi Aarons
Austin, TX
I could have gone all day without thinking about the bleeding vaginas of the perennial underclass.
So yeah, thanks for that.
My impression of the tampon market is there are various types and brands and that women are particular about what they use. I don’t think tampon’s are like toilet paper where the user will use whatever is available. I assume the actual usage will be very low and mostly for emergencies.
And just how are they going to limit this per person?
Endless free supply of tampons.
IDIOTS
Can’t they just take a roll of toilet paper out of the dispenser and put it in their panties?
Suddenly there’s a new right and entitlement? We managed to survive all these years without it.
Gee, and all this time I thought NY was broke. Silly me.
While this is useful, what is really needed is a more effective detonator, or better bomb making kits for the Mayor’s favorite ethnic group. They are falling way behind the cells in Paris and Brussels.
These machines will be perpetually empty.
I read that free tampons were available in public restrooms somewhere in Europe.
The facilities are in tiny buildings on the sidewalk... only one person can enter at a time and the tampon dispenser will only dispense a single tampon. I think you had to vacate the restroom, walk away and wait a bit before re-entering to get another.
It would slow down hoarders.
The ones with 8 welfare babies may need a jumbo roll and a way to keep it in there.
My name is Paula.
I used to be Paul.
I now use the ladies room.
I am hurt and ashamed when I see a tampon dispenser on the wall because I can’t share the experience.
The ladies room is no longer a safe space for me.
I am sad.
What about shoes? Sometimes people need shoes! Also cars.
And to demonstrate inclusiveness, the Mayor will show how they are used.
Rofl!
Cheer up, Paula. At least if you need to pee in the snow you don’t need to hang your whole butt out in the cold. Always count your blessings, dude, uh, girl!
I love it!!
That was an awesome letter lol!!
She hit it on the money, and it was funny, too!
As long as I don’t have to empty the waste cans, with the blood that came from wherever, I guess it’s fine. /sarc
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.