Posted on 01/12/2016 8:56:09 PM PST by The All Knowing All Seeing Oz
Atlanta, Georgia, January 12, 2016 (Disassociated Press)
Tonight in Atlanta, Sigmund P. Snarls, M.D., Medical Director of the Centers for Disease Control announced a breakthrough in the 17 year fight to find a cure for insomnia. Dr. Snarls said “we have been working very hard for almost 2 decades to fight the disease of insomnia that robs so many Americans of their normal way of life.†“Although we have spent all these years and almost $4 billion of taxpayer’s money looking for a cure for insomnia, we never realized it but the cure was right there under our noses for all this time.â€
“Actually, it was my son Franklin who showed me the way to the cure. He is a very active 15-year-old and I’m never able to get him to go to bed before midnight or one in the morning. He just wants to stay up all night. But I noticed, within 15 minutes of Pres. Obama beginning his State of the Union Address, that Franklin was sound asleep.
I then called around to some friends, including some colleagues from the Centers for Disease Control and found they had experienced the same thing in their own living rooms. In many cases it took six or seven rings for the telephone to answer, as the people I was calling were already fast asleep in front of their television. The president was blathering on, in some cases in stereo on a 72 inch screen, but everyone was fast asleep.â€
The Centers for Disease Control will be requesting an additional $2.3 billion grant from taxpayers in order to obtain DVD copies of Pres. Obama’s speech. These will be distributed free of charge to each insomnia victim. Prior to the implementation of Obamacare, people had to pay $2.75 each to get one, but of course now, under Obama, everything is free.
LOL
Might work!
I don’t know. Listening to whining, aggrieved community organizer kind of puts me on edge. Like nails on a chalk-board.
Tnx
A teaspoon of raw honey before bed works a lot better.
HOW can anyone sleep while VOMITING???? ;)
At my age otc melatonin works great.
Check your son again, doc. He may be in a coma.
I heard that has side effects though, I stick with rum every other day which is the only time I can get my brain to shut off. It’s not unusual for me to try sleeping for 3 or 4 hours and just give up and get up. But then the next day I drink copious amounts and off to lala land.
Tonight I’ll probably be up all night yet again.
I heard sometimes melatonin causes head aches of which I haven’t had for decades and don’t plan for any now.
I have terrible insomnia but all the speech gave me was a headache. I don’t think he even wanted to give the speech— it was all over the place. He needs to just leave now.
That may seem interesting or even funny; but there’s an even better way to fall asleep.
First, look through your Bible and find all the scriptures on peace, peaceful, sleep, etc. You will be very surprised at how many you find.
2nd, you write down all the scriptures.
3rd, you read all the scriptures EVERY NIGHT when you’re ready to settle in for the night.
It may seem like magic, but GOD wants us to have a peaceful night’s sleep.
And .. the best part of this is .. you no longer have to listen to the propaganda of Obama; which you will actually hear anyway, even if you think you’re asleep. Don’t feed your mind and heart with propaganda.
That is the exact impact his speech had on me!!!
Too funny.
I’ve known of the cure for decades.
Take something written by the CDC out and read it.
You’ll be out in five minutes.
I’m not into torturing myself. I rather get the gentler treatment for Insomnia. That is to watch Youtube videos on massages, you will be amazed how much that helps you go to sleep.
Obama State of the Union.
WebMD says bananas work wonders for sleep.
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