Posted on 08/09/2015 11:09:53 AM PDT by Kaslin
“Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body.”
– 1 Corinthians 6:18
I had an interesting heart-to-heart with my dad the other day. We were discussing my son, his grandson, who was spending time with my folks in Colorado over the summer. At the risk of bragging a bit – my boy, an eighth grader who recently turned 14, is already 6-foot-1, very handsome and a competitive Olympic-style boxer. Evidently, on the previous day a “drop-dead gorgeous” high school girl had made a sexual advance at him, and while as a Christian young man, he had managed to graciously rebuff that advance, he shared with his grandfather that “it was tempting.”
Boy do I know it. Having been a teenage boy myself a few decades back I faced those same temptations on multiple occasions, and, regrettably, as I’ve shared before, both then and into my young adulthood, I succumbed to those temptations more often than not.
That fact is part of what my father and I were discussing. He grew up in West Texas where, as with much of the country today, it was considered machismo for men and teenage boys to rack up as many sexual conquests as possible. While he became a Christian just before he and my mother were married, the message I yet received from him was, with a wink and a nod, that “boys will be boys.”
It’s the old Don Juan double standard. What’s good for me, ladies, is not good for thee. As the late comedienne Joan Rivers once quipped, “A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes 19 or 20 mistakes, she’s a tramp.”
Jokes aside, this double standard is real, and it’s even embraced by much of the church today. I don’t mean to blame my father. This was the exact message I wanted to hear as a hormonal teen. Even so, it was the wrong message. More importantly, I was wrong to use that message as a rationalization for my own sexual immorality. Today, my father and I are in full agreement on these points.
Here’s the universal truth. God takes all sexual immorality very seriously, and any sexual conduct outside the “male and female” marriage covenant, as Christ exclusively defined it, is sexual immorality (see Matthew 19:4). It’s sin. “But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband” (1 Corinthians 7:2).
Hebrews 13:4 makes God’s expectation for us abundantly clear: “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.”
For everyone, Christ followers especially, sexual purity is not an option. As Ephesians 5:3 admonishes, “But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people.”
This is serious stuff. So serious, in fact, that those who maintain an unrepentant, sexually immoral lifestyle face eternal separation from God. “Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral (fornicators), nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality … will inherit the kingdom of God” (1 Corinthians 6:9-10).
During our conversation, my dad shared a recent exchange he had with an elderly pastor he sometimes visits. He was telling the pastor about his youthful sexual exploits and that even today, though he knows it’s wrong, he sometimes feels a tinge of pride about them because, in his hometown, the more a young man “scored” with the ladies, the more he was admired. Almost like a hero.
The pastor looked my father in the eye, stone-faced, and told him directly and without equivocation, “You were no hero. You were a coward.”
Ouch. That’s gonna leave a mark.
It cut to the quick, not just for my father, but for me as well. I’d never thought of it that way. In this world, the cowardly thing to do is to conform to this world. When it comes to sexual morality, and especially for young people in our sewer-like culture, what’s difficult to do is the right thing to do.
And the right thing is to obey God.
Indeed, Jesus commands that we “flee from sexual immorality.” In the face of danger, we think of fleeing as the coward’s way out. But when we’re fleeing from temptation, from sin, to take flight is to show courage. It’s an act of righteousness.
Guys, fornication is cowardly. It’s the easy way out. Women are not the objects of our pleasure. They are God’s daughters, created in His own image and likeness. When we use them sexually, we dishonor them, our own bodies and their future husbands. It’s theft. We’re stealing a priceless gift reserved for another.
No, the courageous thing to do is to remain pure – especially in a culture that glorifies sexual impurity of every kind. It’s courageous because it’s difficult. It’s courageous because with purity will come mockery and contempt. Young men, this is true especially for you. Even when I was a teen, boys who chose sexual abstinence were considered “sissies.” They were weird.
But they weren’t weird. What they were was obedient. What they were was courageous. What they were was honorable.
What they were was blessed.
“Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him. Let no one say when he is tempted, ‘I am being tempted by God,’ for God cannot be tempted with evil, and he himself tempts no one. But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death” (James 1:12-15).
Like I said, this is serious stuff.
“How can a young man keep his way pure? By guarding it according to your word. With my whole heart I seek you; let me not wander from your commandments! I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you” (Psalm 119:9-11).
Buck up, boys. Don’t be a coward. Show some courage. Show some honor.
I wish I had.
I, for one, regret not sleeping with my high school girlfriend.
Not every young man has set the bar so low for himself. My oldest boys are only 15 and 14, so I don’t know what choices and mistakes are in their future, but I do know they are holding themselves to God’s standards. We are people created in God’s image, not animals with no control over our actions.
Remaining pure in heart, mind and body isn’t easy, but by the grace of God it’s not impossible. Even for healthy straight young men. What makes it even harder is snarky jabs by mature men implying that you must be gay if you aren’t willing to reject God’s teachings regarding fornication.
The article accepts what you say completely. The point it makes, however, is that the real struggle, the real test, is between the young man and the laws of God. The girl is merely the form of the temptation to break God's law. The cowardice comes from running away from God's command. That's what I find so compelling here - that INNER struggle has NOTHING to do with anyone else. And it goes far, far beyond mere sex - it is the essence of the human condition itself.
“Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against THEIR own body.”
– 1 Corinthians 6:18
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I’ve been seeing these ungrammatical quotations from Scripture hear and there for awhile. Is there REALLY a published version of Scripture out there using this abominable non-English?
Or maybe Barber’s kid is just a homo.
No, he not a Homo, he is “strong in the Lord and in the power of His might”. He would most likely kick you little *ss for saying so. Why would he want to dishonor God and his parents by indulging in an immoral woman, when he can wait and “have it all” with a virtuous one?
Wasn't Ronald Reagan a remarried divorcee?????
If so, he was living with Nancy in a state of adultery.
Wow...would you like your wife thinking the same thing about her old high school boyfriend? Really?!
Or maybe you’ve rejected the Word of God.
I did exactly what the young fellow did not do, and I got the Clap. He did the right thing IMHO.
Gods word is for our good, not just a hinderance to fun. Oh yeah, sin is fun but it really is death...the wages of sin.
Having to undergo the drilling some thirty years because of scare tissue made me wish for death, that was for sure.
I was a virgin when I married at 23.....sometimes I regret passing up sure things, sometimes I don't....too late now anyway....married 55 years...
They ain't yet minted the 14 year old that can kick my ass, sweetheart.
I’ll bet the dad could. I would also love a chance to jump in, cupcake.
Matt Barber is a scummy blogpimp, self-righteous to the point where he feels he ought to be educating people.
And his kid is likely a homo.
I would also love a chance to jump in, cupcake.
Surely. I clearly deserve a gang-beating for having an opinion.
Well said.
“They ain’t yet minted the 14 year old that can kick my ass, sweetheart.”
lol,, and yet, they always think they can.
Well then beat me too cause I agree with humble. Celibacy becomes perversion when the average marriage age is now 29 in America. That’s 15 long years on the wagon. And then he enters into marriage? Bada bing,, lifelong celibacy.
Ridiculous. That’s like being a monk, or a nun. The boy is probably going to be a homo.
Matt Barber probably votes GOP-e
The price of tea in china is way too high! This story is not about celibacy!?! It is about a 14 year old kid doing the right thing and standing for God’s command to keep sexual relations confined within marriage. If he continues, he will find a beauty queen for a wife when he is ready to support a family. Calling him a homo in my part of the country, is asking for punishment.
Yep. Happened to a friend of mine. Got money from the divorce and ran off with some Frenchie beachbum she met while on their vacation together on St Maarten...
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