Posted on 07/02/2015 2:26:21 PM PDT by NYer
Read this open letter to the Gay Community from a loving daughter.
Same-sex marriage and parenting withholds either a mother or father from a child while telling him or her that it doesn’t matter. That it’s all the same. But it’s not. A lot of us, a lot of your kids, are hurting. My father’s absence created a huge hole in me, and I ached every day for a dad. I loved my mom’s partner, but another mom could never have replaced the father I lost.I grew up surrounded by women who said they didn’t need or want a man. Yet, as a little girl, I so desperately wanted a daddy. It is a strange and confusing thing to walk around with this deep-down unquenchable ache for a father, for a man, in a community that says that men are unnecessary…
I’m not saying that you can’t be good parents. You can. I had one of the best. I’m also not saying that being raised by straight parents means everything will turn out okay. We know there are so many different ways that the family unit can break down and cause kids to suffer: divorce, abandonment, infidelity, abuse, death, etc. But by and large, the best and most successful family structure is one in which kids are being raised by both their mother and father.
And she wonders why gay people’s kids can’t be honest in talking about the realities, for them, of gay marriage.
It promotes and normalizes a family structure that necessarily denies us something precious and foundational. It denies us something we need and long for, while at the same time tells us that we don’t need what we naturally crave. That we will be okay. But we’re not. We’re hurting.
She notes that children of divorced parents, adopted children of biological parents they never knew, are “allowed” to speak out about their pain, suffering, longing, feelings.
But children of same-sex parents haven’t been given the same voice. It’s not just me. There are so many of us.
One of the first to publish such an account was Robert Lopez, and his account of being "raised by two moms" clearly reveals his love for his mother, but also the long term impact that home life had on him. It opened the door for many other children of same-sex parents who were afraid to speak up because they loved them and didn’t want to hurt them.
In the past couple of days, that link has become inaccessible, and the online journal that published it has been dealing with technical issues. Which may or may not be related to the silencing Heather Barwick referred to in her honest, open letter.
That’s not most of us. It’s the extreme left and right doing the most outright condemnation. Most of us who are trying to engage at all, are trying to do so reasonably and charitably. Many of us make efforts to speak clearly and listen closely, with the courage of conviction and respect for the dignity of those who challenge and even try to silence our beliefs, beliefs which at core witness to human dignity.
So Heather Barwick closes her letter to the Gay Community in which she was raised, with which she identified most of her life, who she understands with great compassion, and appeals to now as a children’s rights activist, with this:
I know this is a hard conversation. But we need to talk about it. If anyone can talk about hard things, it’s us. You taught me that.
No circumstance, no purpose, no law whatsoever can ever make licit an act which is intrinsically illicit, since it is contrary to the Law of God which is written in every human heart, knowable by reason itself, and proclaimed by the Church.
Catholic ping!
Wait until polygamy, polyandry and incest are options.
Kids will be permanently screwed up.
As a young man growing up, I didn’t have to deal with this. None the less, while reading this, I did have flash-backs to my youth.
This young woman mentions how they tried to act as if the two moms were just as good as a mom and dad, and that they didn’t need a man in their lives.
What I recall was being in situations with middle aged women who would sit there and trash men incessantly. It was their cause in live, or they just drew something out of this talk that gave them some satisfaction. As a young man, this was very disturbing to me.
I don’t mean that it caused me damage or anything like that, but it told me some very interesting things about what they thought about men just 15 years my senior.
Here I was listening two women who would soon hate me.
I would ask any women or men who venture off into conversations that might come under this category in some manner to please think before you say things in front of kids.
They may not say anything, but they’ll be listening and the thoughts they have won’t be in your favor.
How sad. With the doctrines and demanded sex changes from our sex masters, it is always the children who take it in the shorts.
I feel so sad for the boys of this age. Their parents don’t even try to protect them from the perverts preying on their bodies and minds in public schools.
It only gets worse for each generation. Sooner or later the radical will gloriously collapse and enslave America. : (
Then you will be truly dismayed by this. In case you missed it ...
There was plenty to marvel at during the New York City Pride March on Sunday, but one precocious 8-year-old boy stood out from the crowd: Desmond Napoles, of Brooklyn, who joyously strutted and vogued his way down Fifth Avenue in a rainbow tutu and gold sequined cap. And when critics reared their heads on social media Monday, suggesting his participation was inappropriate, mom Wendylou Napoles shut them down with grace and pride.The picture was posted all over the place, and it was said to be inappropriate. "How dare you do this to an 8-year-old boy, dress him up this way and have him...?" The mother said... "If you are offended, don't look." You think that would work in Charleston, South Carolina, and the flag? "Hey, if you're offended, don't look."
She learned a lot about boats and marina life that year.
It has absolutely nothing to do with the children. Same sex and to some extent conventional relationships want a ‘toy’. Many treat their pets better than the children.
It’s all about what they want, status symbol, whatever. Beyond selfish attitude as this has repercussions for the child the rest of their lives.
Good for her. I loved my mother, but my dad was the light of my life.
Hey, Sheila: THEY DON’T CARE.
They don’t care about you or your well-being, just about themselves and their personal desires.
When asked with of the lesbian moms was the biological parent, both said that they were. This bit of information was critical for determining if the child, a boy, had a genetic disorder. The moms insisted and refused. Clearly their agenda is more important than the safety of their child.
Try as they might the faggots cannot undo five million years of human evolution. A child needs a mother and a father. The older I get the more thankful I am that I had a loving mother and father and that my generation didn’t have to deal with this sh!t. In ten or twenty years there are going to be A LOT of screwed up kids.
Here in Seattle my young son (9 yrs old) has many friends. 3 of his friends have same-sex ‘parents’, 1 with 2 fathers, and 2 with 2 mothers.
I used to have the view that a child with parents that cared was a child better off than those with parents or caretakers that didn’t care. I tried to be accepting in the interests of the child. But upon getting closer I saw some things that gave pause.
The same-sex parents in each case seem in public to be nice people, educated, clean, not queer in looks or conduct. But the spirits of the kids are a different matter. I would say their spirits, their non-verbal behaviors, they act as if something important is missing; something is not right.
I am a single dad as we lost my wife/his mother years ago to illness. So it’s not like I show up with a female partner to make the contrast glaring. If anything my single status seems to make us more invited into their lives. We meet via school or soccer and then progress to play dates.
Within the same-sex parent arrangement of these 3 boys, at least one in each couple is a genetic parent.
I also have neighbors, two women, married who go to ‘church’, episcopal I think; don’t know, don’t care. One of the women had fertility treatments years ago and gave birth to two non-identical twin boys who are now 5 years old. The women are again educated, clean but there is a tension with the one parent, the one that did not give birth. the ‘man’ of the relationship.
Yeah I know it seems like I am surrounded here but this is central Seattle in fairly exclusive neighborhoods. Most neighbors and parents are like me, traditional and they leave politics out of the discussion.
But these kids are growing up and they seem to detect a difference in their lives or at least I see them hiding their true feelings. That’s it, they are hiding something inside them. I don’t see that in other kids.
It’s not my place to interfere here but my view has swung around where I am no longer a live-and-let-live hand waver of same-sex households for children. I think these kids should have a voice; perhaps professionals should be called in to study if these arrangements are in the best interest of the children. I am mixed on all this.
On the other hand one of the parents in each case I know of is a genetic parent. So I’m left confused because I think foster care must be worse.
This is a problem. But I think fortunately statistically it is a small problem but apparently not for the individual children involved.
Vexing problems for me leave only prayer as a means to cope.
I am pulling my son out of school next year and enrolling him in a Christian school. I’m happy with the choice as the academics are quite good. I want him to have a classical education so that if one day he is reading Shakespeare and there is a quote or allegory related to scripture, he will know where it was taken from.
When he gets a little older we will talk about some of his friends who are from same-sex households. He sees it now but it’s a little too early to sort it out. Again it seems like this is really prevalent but it’s not, it’s just where I live in leafy neighborhoods that are old and very nice, very traditional. For those of you familiar with Seattle, it’s the north end of Capitol Hill although we now live 3 miles away near a shoreline. And the mayor here is homosexual. So far no hostility to Christian businesses that I know of.
I think this fad of homosexuality will play its course into irrelevance but only after the issue of religious liberty comes to a head. I give the homosexual fad about 8 years and then it’s old news, at least I hope so. I hope to see in the meantime an Article V Amendment that gives states rights with teeth so that they can quash Supreme Court rulings and other egregious federal actions.
Here’s my shameless pump for my Article V post again:
A PERMANENT ANSWER TO SUPREME COURT AND FEDERAL GOVERNMENT ABUSES
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/3304160/posts
I am sooooo sick of these federal government types and their self-importance. It’s got to stop. I grew up in DC and I know how the culture there has changed. I want to see 50% of federal government employees gone or early retired with no funding for replacements. Believe me we wouldn’t notice them gone. I’d even vote to fund their relocation just to be rid of them.
I saw that one and few others of boys being used as sex toys, marching in various parades. Eye candy for queer males. Ugh.
Optimum word in your sentence said it all.....”LIGHT”.....your dad was the LIGHT of your life....LIGHT is ALWAYS a good thing.
I would not allow a little daughter to spend a night at a friend's house that only had a father.
Yes he’s a boy and yes I said before he’s my son.
No, there are no sleepovers with his friends from same-sex households at their home. He gets sleepovers with these friends at our house only and he gets sleepovers with friends at their homes with traditional married couples only.
I’ve never been faced with sleepover requests from other single parents. All his friend’s parents know me very well and have been to our home so they are comfortable letting their kids have a sleepover at our home. We are the ‘cool’ home to hang out in with drums, electric guitars, Xbox etc. All the kids want to come to our home.
Go head and share your friend’s bad experience; that’s what the thread is for.
Absolutely right. I am a woman who has been a listener to many such conversations. I’ve never contributed. I love and respect my husband and my sons and I would never trash them to anyone. I pity the husbands and male relatives of such women because they are bound to carry that animosity back to the marriage and family.
Even in our little town in Tennessee, a good while back, a sort of “fad” seemed to spontaneously break out where, especially the girls were, in large numbers, making “lesbian love” in the girls’ bathrooms and flaunting themselves. The fad seemed to have died out for the most part after it fizzled out.
Never heard about anything like that and would never expected to hear of such a thing in TN. Glad to hear it fizzled. Hope the girls involved got straightened out.
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