Jeepers! Hillary's Campaign Is Even Creepier Than You Think

realclearpolitics.com ^ | April 16, 2015 | Heather Wilhelm

[SJackson]

Pffftt. Pipe down. You haven’t been paying attention, friend. It is, at least in the cloistered world of the American media, The Week of Hillary. On Sunday, the former secretary of state announced her intention to enact her final, sweet, glorious revenge on the old ball and chain, Bill “Mr. Fun” Clinton—ahem, I mean “run for president”—and the coverage has been wall-to-wall since.

So far, the Hillary Show has been consistently hilarious, complete with a bizarre RoboCop-style, bulletproof, Secret Service-driven “casual” road trip van— a van named, oddly, “Scooby,” which is the cartoon dog, and not “The Mystery Machine,” which is the actual cartoon van—and what may have been the weirdest Ohio Chipotle visit ever. (In short, Hillary wore sunglasses inside like a Vegas mobster, she didn’t talk to anyone, and then the New York Times ran a full scientific microanalysis of the nutrition content of her order.)

However, there’s also bad news: Behind the scenes, the Clinton campaign is even creepier than you might think. “Americans have fought their way back from tough economic times, but the deck is still stacked in favor of those at the top,” Hillary declared in her announcement video, which looked suspiciously like a 1990’s Mentos commercial. “Everyday Americans need a champion, and I want to be that champion.”

There are several things wrong with this, so we’ll start with the obvious: Who in America older than the age of 12 wants a politician to be their “champion”? Moreover, if you do want a politician to be your champion—we can talk about your troubling experience-based cynicism deficit later—would you honestly choose one who has “Creature of the D.C. Foreign Donor/Big Banking/Conflict-of-Interest/Question-Dodging/General Corruption Borg” written all over her? (As an aside, I’m guessing that Elizabeth Warren is wondering this too.)

[nascarnation]

Nice visual!

[tanknetter]

Read up on Hillary's campaign manager here and here and it all starts to make sense.

Seems like a heck of a nice guy, actually ... (/sarc)

They include rallying cries to, in Mook’s words, “smite Republicans mafia-style,” and, to quote Marshall, “punish those voters.”

[x]

a van named, oddly, “Scooby,” which is the cartoon dog, and not “The Mystery Machine,” which is the actual cartoon van

Would-be hipsters called it the "Scooby van."

I guess it's cooler than the "Mystery Machine."

Nicknames often are.

You could try to make the original label stick, though.

There's a lot that's mysterious about the Clintons.

[Titan Magroyne]

bmfl

[Stand Watch Listen]