Posted on 04/05/2015 8:15:42 AM PDT by Kaslin
Dear God… I am sick of hearing about gay cakes.
First off, I’d like to say that pretty much all cakes are gay. Duh. No offense, of course.
If you don’t believe me then Google “cakes”. After that page loads select “images” and then look at what your search yielded up and tell me with a straight face those pics don’t look absolutely fabulous.
Tell me … what did you see? I’ll tell you what you saw: fluffy yellow, brown or white cake filling donned with colored icing, decorated with rosettes or candy and/or some other kind of pleated, sugar-coated diabetes, belly fat and cellulite inducing crap. That’s what.
I have two things to say for that aforementioned visual: 1). Completely. 2). Boy George.
And don’t even get me started on cupcakes. Cupcakes are verily gay. Especially, mini-cupcakes. I had some ladies leave some mini-cupcakes at my house after a baby shower the other day and I summarily took those quaint cakes and dumped ‘em in the garbage. That ain’t paleo-diet stuff and I am a caveman so, ipso facto, in the trash they go.
Oh, and by the way, have you ever called someone a “cupcake”? Was he acting effeminate? Yes? There, I rest my case.
I'm sure some of you are thinking, “What confectionaries, then, do I consume, if any?” Well, since inquiring minds want to know, my go-to poison are brownies. Why are brownies my dessert of choice? Well, brownies look earthy, no frilly, fastidious lace needed and should I ever get glaucoma I can easily jam-pack it with some killer weed and it won't seem weird. And lastly, when I smile while I’m woofin’ down a brownie, I look like a 10th century Viking savage which translates … not gay.
With my stance of the effeminacy of pretty much all cakes established, please, do tell, who the hell demands someone bake them a cake? That. Is. So. Gay.
For God’s sake, man, go to a gay cakemaker or pick your haggard backside up and go to HEB and get some Betty Crocker cake mix, make your own damn cake and shut the heck up and help us focus on killing Islamic death-jockeys who sure as shiitake won’t bake you a frickin’ cake should they ever take the helm.
Honestly, obviously, and for the record, I find your fascistic demands for a private Christian business to bake you a gay cake as odious as I would if the Westboro Baptist Church berated a gay baker to build them a Sodom and Gomorrah cake commemorating its destruction.
In addition, gay dudes, why would you, the gay person, want to patronize someone who doesn’t dig your lifestyle? Unless, you’re trying to stir up some faux political rage to distract us all from how Obama is screwing our nation or how Hillary’s email scandal makes Nixon look like an Amish schoolmarm? Why would you want to give your hard earned drachmas to someone who isn’t down with your “life-style”?
I think its funny/pathetic how gays think they’re so rad by beating up on Christian bakeries. What’s next? Christian florists? Or some blue-haired Christian needlepoint granny who won’t crochet your groomsmen rainbow-colored loincloths? Ooooh … Awww … you’re such a scary contrarian. Are you going to force Christian filmmakers to film and produce gay porn? When will you be satisfied, huh?
Look, gay-ragers, if you really want to stretch your wings why don’t you force a redneck custom-bike builder to build you a chopper with a pic of your checking Jethro’s oil on the gas tank?
Or … or … better yet, why don’t you try your bake-me-a-cake crap at a Muslim boulangerie or ask a halal deli owner to fry you up a mountain of BLTs for your wedding reception?
C’mon, rowdies … why don’t you focus your angst on Islam? Because they truly hate you and they wish you dead. But you’ll never do that because you know what would happen, so you continue to bully soft targets and then pretend like you’re somehow a 21stcentury Nuevo Rosa Parks pushing for the front of the bus.
Lastly, if I was gay, and I’m not, but I do think Ellen is a hoot, I would live and let live, c’est la vie . I wouldn’t force anyone to do squat for me. I would prize the freedoms afforded in this grand experiment in self-governance and if someone doesn’t want to do business with me then I’d mosey on to someone who would, versus trying to trash our First Amendment and become the land of the free’s perpetual pain in the butt.
I don’t care what it is. It’s gross. Use your brain and have some decency
Tell us once again about the noble, virtuous nature of the confederacy....
I am sick of gay cakes, gay everything too. That is the point.
Happy now? That was the cake that the bakery SHOULD have made for those faggots.
It is a modernized version of ‘headhunting’ and ‘gotcha’. The technique has been around for a long, long time.
==
In the 1970s and 1980s, in an area that was mostly agricultural and predominately Caucasian, a realtor told the story of Black couples who would come in every few years. The area realtors knew the game, so they played along.
They would show the Black couple anything the couple expressed interest in. The couple might even get to the point of signing a contract and making the escrow deposit. At that point, the couple would hmmm and haw and decide they needed to think about it. The couple would leave. The realtors knew the couple would not return to seal the deal. The realtors also knew that, if they balked on showing property or offering the contract, the NAACP or similar civil rights would be all over them.
A few years later, another Black couple would show up and want to look at local property ... and the game repeated.
But there was a thread here about a day ago that had the perfect response for all these liberal sissies demanding that Christian bakeries bake them cakes in order that they can celebrate their desire to have sex with each other and listen to Elton John albums (Elton John albums post 1976).
Anyway, this is all Christian bakeries have to do. Simply state that they would be happy to bake a cake for your homosexual wedding but that the proceeds from the sale will be donated to the Ted Cruz campaign.
Now I think that's brilliant. Ted Cruz gets a donation for every homosexual cake baked. Christian bakeries can never again be bullied around and shut down over this nonsense.
And Ellen isn’t funny. She’s a second rate comic who would be working small clubs if the media hadn’t turned her into a cause because she is a lesbian. So now you’re a bigot if you point out that she’s not that talented. SOP for the left.
Those ladies who brought the mini cupcakes to his house are going to be real pleased when they read this column. :-)
Next time use your brain. *rme* You should never have it posted it
It’s not about cakes at all but about freedom, specifically religious freedom, lost to the American people.
....and for the Gravitationally challenged....pancakes.
Ha...I wouldn’t like to be the post person bending down to deliver a letter at that location.
http://www.yelp.com/biz/the-erotic-bakery-seattle
According to info at link, the business has closed.
I am sick of hearing GAY anything...enough already...
It isn’t about the cake. It’s big bucks attention whoredom, just furthering America’s disgust.
Dude, it disappoints me how much people use the pc version of “gay”. I say homosexual to describe people who take pride in trying to imitate intimacy that happens between a man and a woman, not gay, or queer, but homosexual. Look up the word “gay” in a 1953 dictionary, and tell me what that says, because that definition is what I go by.
the correct term is dyke Cakes or perhaps queer Cakes
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