I had my husband in six hospitals and every time the hospital asked if he had a Living Will. Every time I said, “It is not a Living Will, it is a Death Will and I have a Medical Power of Attorney for him and he wants to live, and here is a copy of that document for you.” Every time, that person took the document and never said another word about a Living Will.
You should have the right to do what you did for your husband. People who want a living will should likewise have that right. I assume you agree with that.
Re the Living Will, a conscious adult making decisions regarding her or his terminal suffering or brain death seems, IMHO, decidedly different than a conscious adult deciding that termination of a life in the womb, the most vulnerable of us all, is any way the same.
After his first major stroke, he came to live with me, and because it impacted his speech and ability to communicate, we had a lawyer set up a power of attorney and durable power of attorney over all his affairs including health care.
Because the advanced directive stated - no heroic measures, under certain circumstances, I would never let them see the advanced directives, as I was afraid that they would interpret them differently than Dad and I.
So I just gave them the power of attorney to copy. When they would ask me about an advanced directive, I would just tell them that I had everything that would be needed, and they should just consult with me before they did anything.
When the rapid response team showed up, I recognized their faces coming down the hall, and could tell that they were heading for Dad's space in the ICU, so I beat them into the room.
When they asked about his “code”, I told them he is a full code-get in their and get the job done. So they intubated him and transferred him to the ICU Ventilation Unit. Within 1 minute, their was a little rat-faced doctor pulling me aside and telling me that I should pull the plug, as he was never going to get better.
I told him, that he was not God, and he did not know that. Every day one of them nagged at me to “let him go”. Finally, I told them that my Dad was a WWII Vet, a volunteer fireman, and a volunteer EMT & Paramedic, and I knew beyond a doubt what he would do, and if he wanted to go out fighting, then I thought that was the least they could do was to help him to the best of their ability.
I also told them that he was to be given at least 2.5 weeks to see if the antibiotic would work. He did get better, and was able to confirm his wishes. After that they left me alone. Ultimately, he did make it off the ventilator, but not out of the hospital-but that's another story.