Waitress: No substitutions
Bob: What do you mean? You don’t have any tomatoes?
Waitress: Only what’s on the menu. You can have a #2, plain omelet, comes with cottage fries and rolls.
Bobby: I know what it comes with but it’s not what I want.
Waitress: I’ll come back when you make up your mind.
Bobby: Wait a minute, I have made up my mind. I’d like a plain omelet, no potatoes on the plate, a cuppa coffee and a side order of wheat toast.
Waitress: I’m sorry, we don’t have any side orders of toast. It’s a muffin or a coffee roll.
Bobby: What do you mean you don’t make side orders of toast. You make sandwiches don’t you?
Waitress: Would you like to talk to the manager?
Bobby: You’ve got bread and a toaster of some kind?
Waitress: I don’t make the rules.
Bobby: Okay, I’ll make it as easy for you as I can. I’d like an omelet plain and a chicken salad sandwich on wheat toast, no mayonnaise, no butter, no lettuce. And a cup of coffee.
Waitress : A #2, chicken sal sand. Hold the butter, the lettuce, the mayonnaise, and a cup of coffee. Anything else?
Bobby: Yeah, now all you have to do is hold the chicken, bring me the toast, give me a check for the chicken salad sandwich, and you haven’t broken any rules.
Waitress: You want me to hold the chicken, huh?
Bobby: I want you to hold it between your knees.
A friend of mine who is a vegetarian tried to order a cheese sandwich from McDonalds (hey, we were hungry and it was the only place around besides I wanted a Big Mac).
We ended up ordering him a cheese burger, hold the burger. It was horrible. He threw it away. Cheese not melted. Dry. Don’t try it.
I just watched the clip of that scene on youtube. It’s been years since I’ve seen that movie. Thanks for reminding me. It never gets old.
“Bobby: Yeah, now all you have to do is hold the chicken, bring me the toast, give me a check for the chicken salad sandwich, and you haven’t broken any rules.”
Great movie. One of my faves. The very young Jack Nicholson.