Posted on 10/25/2014 9:34:00 AM PDT by Mrs. Don-o
Brittany Maynard is a 29-year-old woman who learned not long after her wedding that she had an aggressive brain tumour. She has therefore announced that she has chosen to die on November 1, taking advantage of Oregon’s assisted suicide law. A video that she made with the help of the leading assisted suicide organisation in the US, Compassion and Choices, has been a huge hit on YouTube.
An Australian whose wife died of a similar disease, Denis Strangman, has written her an open letter below.
* * * * *
I am very sorry to read that you have a brain tumor, and especially that you plan to kill yourself.
Although we live on different continents thousands of miles apart, and belong to different generations, I sympathise with your situation, though not with your plans. I am glad that you say your proposed suicide date is not “set in stone.” I sincerely hope you will quietly forget about it and choose life. Do not be stampeded in trying to meet your “deadline” by “Compassion and Choices” or other advocates for assisted suicide.
You say you are speaking to fellow “millennials.” I don’t think they have yet invented a catchy title for us septuagenarians but you and I are fellow humans, and I would like to tell you about my own experiences in the world of brain tumors. You see, we have something in common – those terrible words “glioblastoma multiforme,” the most lethal of the primary, malignant brain tumors. I lost my wife Marg, aged 55, to this same type of brain tumor some years ago.
Marg accepted her diagnosis and was willing to try any reasonable treatment. Like you she endured embarrassing steroid-induced weight gain from the Decadron, and she lost her hair. Marg lived in hope of a reversal of her condition, while she and I shared a belief that eventually she would be going to a better place. She did pass away, only 11 months after diagnosis, leaving behind myself and our five children.
After my wife passed I became an advocate for brain tumor patients and their caregivers and helped establish the International Brain Tumour Alliance, which I chaired from 2005 to earlier this year. It is a coordinating group for national brain tumor support and advocacy groups around the world. During these nine years I have travelled extensively to meet with patients and their caregivers in Asia, North America, Europe, and even Africa.
About 200,000 people develop a glioblastoma brain tumor each year. Unlike you and my late wife, most are totally unaware of the nature of their illness because of the desperately inadequate health systems of the countries in which they live. Some of them can only crawl to a pathetically inadequate village health centre to spend their last days.
We who live in the developed countries will likely receive a diagnosis and be offered the best standard treatment available. Unfortunately, there has only been one major breakthrough in treating this specific type of tumour in the past 30 years. That is the development and clinical trial verification of the “Stupp protocol” of combined radiation therapy and the drug temozolomide (Temodar/Temodal). Even this therapy is likely to benefit only about 26 percent of those who undertake it. My wife was the first patient in our city to try that therapy but it did not work for her.
In travelling the world I have attended most of the important scientific conferences where brain tumor researchers explain their research – Edinburgh, Berlin, Yokohama, Washington, Chicago, San Francisco, Paris, Amsterdam, and so on. I have no medical credentials of my own, but I know from these conferences and from reading the scientific literature that literally hundreds of scientists throughout the world are working on a cure for this disease. I have met many of these dedicated investigators. Several research groups and companies are also conducting trials for possible new therapies for those with a glioblastoma brain tumor. I would be glad to discuss these if you wish.
In meeting and talking with brain tumor patients the common characteristic I have discovered is their reliance on hope. Many live in hope that a “breakthrough” is just around the corner and they will be the first to benefit from it. That is a perfectly legitimate approach, particularly given rapid developments in understanding the genomics of brain tumours.
Others sustained by hope are aware of the long-term survivors of this disease – those fortunate few who were given a poor prognosis, like you and my wife, but have survived for years. I have met a number of these people in North America and Europe. They do not know why they are the lucky few, but they relish the days they have been given. Researchers trying to discover the common characteristics of long-term brain tumor patients have found, for example, that people around your age, 29, have greater prospects for longer survival and a greater capacity to deal with the medical treatments. I hope you have been told about this.
Still others live in the hope that, if they do not confound medical expectations, they will acquit themselves well in the final weeks of their lives – that they will love and be loved, say things to loved ones that have been left unsaid for too long, and bring peace to themselves and those around them. I have found that, with the help of decent supportive care, this too is a reasonable thing to hope for.
A question that troubles me is whether you have considered the effect your example and statements may have on the tens of thousands of fellow brain tumor patients who are sustained by these hopes. I think that none of us has a right to take that hope away from them. If your story does not make them feel that they should kill themselves, it can certainly make them worry that this idea is lodging itself more firmly in the minds of their friends, relatives and society itself – including those able-bodied “millennials” who already have such a hard time dealing with notions of illness and disability.
I have to tell you in all honesty that in the private online discussion groups for brain tumour patients which I have observed for years, as opposed to the open forums anyone can join, your peers overwhelmingly express prayers and sympathy for you but reject your approach. The drive to approve assisted suicide as a “solution” for patients like them does not ease their burden but aggravates it.
It is certainly not too late for you to decide on a different course. I respectfully ask you to consider this, for yourself and on behalf of your fellow sufferers throughout the world who have chosen to live with hope in their hearts.
Denis Strangman lives in Canberra, Australia. He is the former chair of the International Brain Tumour Alliance. - See more at: http://www.mercatornet.com/articles/view/dont_rob_them_of_hope_brittany#sthash.eI6P0WZF.dpuf
“I have nothing but contempt for the publishers of “people” magazine...
Advertising the suicide “Option” is utterly immoral imho”
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That is a very good point. The slick-looking cover is outrageous.
Very good video. Lots to think about.
What would be really sad is that doctors make mistakes, and what if she isn’t really terminal. A lot of people who were told they had less than a year to live were still here 10 years later.
That is so true.
A glioblastoma is pretty much unmistakable on a brain scan though. They are super aggressive tumors. I was amazed at how fast my dad’s cancer progressed as he was an incredibly healthy tri-athlete at his age.
Of course, we got a second opinion.
It was just his time as God called him home.
I do believe in miracles, though it didn’t happen for my dad. His job here was done.
This young woman should never give up and kill herself. Perhaps God has a miracle in store for her. If she offs herself that is not a possibility. I pray for her to bend to God’s will and have faith in His plan for her.
I know losing you DAD was terrible, and I believe in healing too. Most people don’t realize that death can be a healing, but it’s God’s choice....he knows the future.
Like you said ‘just his time’, and that’s what we all should realize...’time is in God’s hand’, and we may miss our destiny to check out too soon.
I assume this young woman is not religious and sees only this life without regard for the next. Life is a precious gift and even though this life may be difficult or even full of suffering, the next life promises an end to all suffering and an eternity of joy and peace. I can’t help but think that those who end their lives do not find peace in the next life. I do not know if they are condemned to eternal torment, but I believe they do not find peace and eternal rest. Pray for this young woman.
I’m so sorry.
Thanks Kackikat. This glioblastoma stuff hits so close to home with me. It’s a horrible disease but I’m glad my dad faced it with as much grace as was possible with a brain affliction. It surely brought me closer to God, my mom not so much, so the after affects continue.
Life itself on this earth is terminal. Why this woman would not choose grace above all baffles me. Hospice is a blessing when a loved one is dying. For me, and I think for my dad too, it was a natural process. Having given birth to a child, I know it is painful. I like to think of death as the birth of the next stage onto our life with God.
It’s weirdly comforting to me as I remember the day my son was born like yesterday when that thought came to me. He’s now almost 18. :)
the alleged would be suicide looks far from being terminally depressed....or even in pain.
its very very strange indeed.
I know how you feel watching someone who should be moving closer to God because he will love and comfort them, it is heart wrenching. Women are particularly vulnerable to losing a spouse as incomes change and that loss makes life less comfortable...so in some ways they wonder why God has left them in that posittion.
Praying for them and visiting often will sometimes give them courage to talk about it. I will pray for your mother too. I like the way you think about those things regarding life.
Prayers for the woman.
My uncle died of a brain tumor at home. Even when he could no longer speak, he would try to communicate with eye blinks, and enjoyed visits from family and watching Jeapordy, Wheel of Fortune and Cheers on tv. He was surrounded by our family until the very end.
About 3 months before he passed away, my aunt was having serious doubts about God. She was talking to my mom on the phone. Our family had been toghether at a healing mass a few days before, where our priest said prayers and annointed my uncle with oil. We all laid our hands on him during the prayers.
My aunt said that she didn't think it did much good , but that it was nice for the family. She said "it's not like he got up out of bed and started sweeping the porch." (He had not been able to get out of bed for months.) My mom finished her conversation with her and hung up. She said it was sad that the mass didn't give her any comfort.
Five minutes later, the phone rang again. It was my aunt. She said my uncle was out on the porch sweeping! Not only was he able to get up and sweep, but they also got to go to the Indianapolis 500-something my uncle had always wanted to do.
While he did not get a miraculous cure, (He died 3 months after his visit to the race.), he did get a miracle. And it happened right when it was needed the most-when my aunt was doubting.
I sincerely hope this young woman will reconsider, and not go through with suicide. I pray she will trust in God and leave herself in His care and give miracles a chance to happen.
I hope she will also think about what she means to those who love her, and what gifts she might give to them. If she takes her own life, then all possibilities are gone.
W O W ! !
God is good. And right on time.
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If there is no praying, there is no hope for anyone. That includes you, not just other people with diagnosed illnesses. Life is too precious to throw it away. That includes the lives of other people with diagnosed illnesses, not just yours.
My late husband did this. He was mentally ill, we’d separated, getting a divorce and he did this. And no one found him for days. I couldn’t stay with him anymore, but I never wanted him to die. I am appreciative (more than I can say) that I’m safe now, and our children are safe, but the despair and pain and horror and depression just about ruined my life for about two years. And that was just me. My boys were crushed. Still struggle with it. We’d been married for 23 years. I am brought to tears just remembering that time, 7 years ago.
I understand that the circumstances are different. But life is precious. i’ve been willing to do it before, but my dearest friend got me some help, even though I didn’t want it at the time.
Don’t give up Brittany. I wish I could talk her out of it. Yes, although she’ll have pain and lots of other things. Don’t give in.
Which is what you are.
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