Umm...you can quote wikipedia and the dictionary all you like but if you don’t think Judy wasn’t a fag hag, you simply don’t know what you’re talking about.
I’ve spent over 35 years in NY theater and we all know what a fag hag is. Just because Elaine Stritch preferred to hang out with gay men doesn’t define her as a fag hag. It’s what gay men see in her: the grotesque exaggeration of what a woman is. The fag hag is then flattered by the attention and a friendship naturally forms.
My real problem with fag hags - Kay Thompson! - is that they are unbearably obnoxious, in-your-face (and frequently untalented) chicks.
Here’s an example of a non fag hag who should have been a fag hag but was never a fag hag: the great Ethel Merman. Had all the qualities but never caught on in the community. It may be because she was so militantly heterosexual and didn’t like gay men or was just so unbelievably bad-tempered, who knows.