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I sit next to a gay man in choir who has a Bronze Star, Purple Heart and one less leg than me. Who am I, who never served, to judge him?

Why would you judge him?

>> I sit next to a gay man in choir who has a Bronze Star, Purple Heart and one less leg than me. Who am I, who never served, to judge him?

That Bronze Star, Purple Heart and lack of a leg won't get him into Heaven. Sodomy is an offense against God and man, a violation of the Natural Law and Divine Revelation. It is a deadly sin; he must, by the Grace of God repent of it and turn his life over to Christ. Otherwise, he is headed for Hell.

1 Cointhians 6:
9 Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither the immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor sexual perverts, 10 nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor robbers will inherit the kingdom of God. 11 And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the Spirit of our God.
12 “All things are lawful for me,” but not all things are helpful. “All things are lawful for me,” but I will not be enslaved by anything. 13 “Food is meant for the stomach and the stomach for food”—and God will destroy both one and the other. The body is not meant for immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. 14 And God raised the Lord and will also raise us up by his power. 15 Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I therefore take the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? Never! 16 Do you not know that he who joins himself to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For, as it is written, “The two shall become one flesh.” 17 But he who is united to the Lord becomes one spirit with him. 18 Shun immorality. Every other sin which a man commits is outside the body; but the immoral man sins against his own body. 19 Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, which you have from God? You are not your own; 20 you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.

Your friend's military heroism in no way justify or excuse his foul lifestyle of dedication to immorality, to degrading God in his own body. If you care at all for him, you WILL judge his actions and call him to repent of them. May God abundantly bless both you and him with the grace to live lives of holiness, glorifying God in ALL that you do.

Who am I, who never served, to judge him?

If you are a Christian, you are not to pass judgment on him (his soul, spirit or being). You are to love him even if you discern behaviors as sinful, according to scripture. No Christian is a stranger to sin. All Christians should try to resist the temptation to sin and none should name evil, good.