US married father's horror after wife places his child with an adopted family without telling him

Daily Mail [UK] ^ | 3 December 2012 | Nina Golgowski

[Slings and Arrows]

A Texas man is battling for custody of his first-born daughter after his wife successfully gave her up for adoption without telling him - to a family who now refuses to return the girl.

Terry Achane, 31, a drill instructor in South Carolina, says it was just days after he left his pregnant wife for his new job out of state that she quietly signed over their unborn baby to a family of seven in Utah.

His newborn baby, whom he had wanted to name Teleah, was given to Jared and Kristi Frei, who now say the girl is theirs and won't give her back without a fight.

Mr Achane says that he and his wife, Tira Bland, were having marital problems not long after learning she was pregnant in 2010, leading to her decision and his now spiraling struggle today despite a judge ordering the girl returned to him last October.

The now ex-husband says Ms Bland had suggested having an abortion or giving their child up for adoption - fearing she would end up as a single mother - but he said no, encouraging their daughter's birth.

It was just months later in February of 2011 that Mr Achane found himself sent to Fort Jackson in South Carolina for work, believing he’d leave and come back a new dad.

Ten days after his move, however, his wife went gave birth to a premature baby and signed away their child before cutting all contact with her husband.

[Slings and Arrows]

Words fail me.

[FreedomPoster]

Family courts in this country are just completely out of control.

[massgopguy]

Does he have to pay them Child Support?

[bgill]

Hmm, I know for a fact that in Texas both the biological mother, the biological father, the legally married husband, and the legally married wife all need to legally sign away their rights to the child. The mother can’t do it on her own.

[rovenstinez]

21 months the baby has bonded with the new parents. He needs to move on, it really is sad, but the damage of taking a little one away from the bonded parents is very devastating... The child´s rights at this time are greater than the sire´s right.

[MAexile]

Another version here:

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2012/12/04/drill-instructor-reportedly-ready-for-daughter-return-in-indefensible-adoption/?test=latestnews

The judge had some rather harsh words for the ex-wife, agency, and adoptive parents.

[Vigilanteman]

There is something seriously wrong with a system which doesn't question the ability of one spouse to sign away a piece of community property without written consent of the other. Had the husband done this with, say, the family car, there would be hell to pay.

This is the purpose of redefining marriage to include queers: so children become nothing more than chattel to satisfy the "needs" of adults.

[writmeister]

In another article, I read that, yesterday, a judge ordered that the child be returned to her father.

[Slings and Arrows]

Article goes into more detail.

[rockinqsranch]

Achane!? Bland!? Married!?

NOT making much sense here. I thought when people got married the husbands name was now the wifes as well.

Curious.

[writmeister]

In another article, I read that, yesterday, a judge ordered that the child be returned to her father.

[writmeister]

In another article, I read that, yesterday, a judge ordered that the child be returned to her father.

[writmeister]

In another article, I read that, yesterday, a judge ordered that the child be returned to her father.

[wideawake]

These Frei people do not look very good, if this article is at all accurate.

[writmeister]

Pardon the multiple postings.

[Perkalong]

Doesn’t it seem like the U.K. press is breaking a lot of interesting stories the U.S. press is not? It was true during the campaign as well.

[Dr. Sivana]

Hmm, I know for a fact that in Texas both the biological mother, the biological father, the legally married husband, and the legally married wife all need to legally sign away their rights to the child. The mother can’t do it on her own.

I believe that Texas allows use of a web-based putative father registry (which NO ONE ever checks) with a defined time limit, after which no response is taken as consent. That would only be pertinent if there were no husband involved. There must have been some lying gong on somewhere.

[Tax-chick]

His newborn baby, whom he had wanted to name Teleah ...

If the poor little girl was given a sensible name by the adoptive parents, can she keep it?

[Mr. Lucky]

So a couple who defrauded the father and contumaciously ignored the court’s order has thereby bestowed new rights upon the child? Hardly.

[MetaThought]

Why the hell doesn’t our media pick these stories up? Something is rotten here, and it ain’t even partisan.

[wideawake]

the damage of taking a little one away from the bonded parents is very devastating

That's life.

Stockholm Syndrome is not an enduring basis for family law.

[Slings and Arrows]

My guesses as to why:

1. The US has four times the population of the UK; i.e., four times the news, all things being equal.

2. It’s safer for UK papers to report on US events - UK libel laws are very biased in favor of the plaintiff.

3. Human nature - misery is more entertaining when it’s far away.

4. The US is the world’s big dog - when we bark, everybody hears.

[svcw]

She was married.
The adoption is not valid.
Good luck to the father, the adoptive family is being absurd.
I am sure they love the child, but she is not theirs.

[svcw]

What the hell?
She is not even two, he is the father and the child is hers.

[WVKayaker]

The child´s rights at this time are greater than the sire´s right.

What the hell are you thinking? That child HAS NO RIGHTS, unless her FATHER signs them away. Children are not chattel, but they do belong to the birth parents, EXCEPT IN A SOCIALIST STATE. WE ARE CLOSE, BUT NOT THERE YET. Mayby you need to go stand in a corner and think about it.

At 21 months, the baby may cry for a couple of days, or may not. At 21 months, she is still a toddler, depending on someone to clean her crap. She will be happier in the long run, WITH HER FATHER. It will make an interesting story, but she will KNOW how much she is loved! **

UPDATE:

A South Carolina man whose wife put their baby up for adoption without his knowledge or consent will be reunited with his daughter after a nearly two-year legal battle, a Utah court ruled.

A Provo judge ruled he was “astonished and deeply troubled" by an adoption agency’s deliberate efforts to circumvent the legal rights of father Terry Achane, who was serving as an Army drill instructor when his child was adopted without his knowledge. -click pic to read full article

[xone]

contumaciously

Great word!

[fudimo]

Judging by the woman’s character the bio father should request a DNA test on the child before he goes any further to be sure the child is his.

[colorado tanker]

The family court got it right. The couple knew the father had not consented to the adoption as did the agency. The adoption was concealed from him by his wife and the agency. The court has ordered the child returned to her father.

[longtermmemmory]

21 months?

that is nonsense.

The court returned custody, the ex did adoption fraud. The father is known, and so he gets the child. The case law supports a pro-active father.

The delay caused by adoptive parents is a legal tactic to prevent the inevitable via nusance.

The law is on the father’s side on this one.

[WVKayaker]

succinct, and to the point. I had to get wordy and seek more info... see update above

[Fightin Whitey]

“contumaciously”

Excellent!

Thirty years ago when I still read three newspapers a day Russell Baker wrote a piece entitled “In Praise of Ignorant Contumely,” which was very fine and very funny.

I carried around the faded newsprint copy for some years but eventually it was lost.

Even now in the near-deathless age of google I have been unable to dig it up again. But thanks for resurrecting the term, for me at least.

[Marie]

How is this not kidnapping??

[facedown]

contumaciously

Wow, I learn something new on this board every day.

[wideawake]

I like the kidnappers' rationale too:

(1) We knew the father hadn't given permission. We were willing to accept that challenge! So reward us for parenting through challenges!

(2) We had already adopted a child of this ethnic background, and we wanted to steal another in order to have a matching set! You are going to throw off my whole family decoration scheme!

[glorgau]

Judging by the woman’s character the bio father should request a DNA test on the child before he goes any further to be sure the child is his.

Absolutely what I would do. Women be crazy.

[Chickensoup]

He will get the baby back. The marriage contract trumps all bonds and the family would be fools to fight it.

Happended to a friend who adopted, years and years ago. Sad crazy women.

[longtermmemmory]

lawyers for the couple adopting in these cases have only one option. delay delay delay. The longer they delay the more they can game the system. Demand fitness hearings, mediation, offer supervised visitation, offer unsupervised visitation and so on and hope the child will become aware enough to bond with the couple and learn to hate the father.

The couple, in this case, should sue the mother and the adoption agency. I am willing to bet the mother had the baby and gave it up for adoption as a vindictive passive agressive action.

(btw the court would have already ordered paternity first)

[bramps]

21 months the baby has bonded with the new parents. He needs to move on, it really is sad, but the damage of taking a little one away from the bonded parents is very devastating... The child´s rights at this time are greater than the sire´s right.

---

...even if the adoptive parents are prima facie rotten? Also, do you have an actual example of such a thing happening and bad repercussions on the child (by being returned to her father)?

[FR_addict]

“How is this not kidnapping??”

I agree. They all knew the father wpuld object and proceeded anyway — the mother, the agency, and the adoptive parents.

He’s serving in our military and this is what happens behind his back? I think there should be chargtes too.

[donna]

Maybe his wife knows something he doesn’t.

Has he done a DNA test?

[Ditter]

We adopted 3 children, 2 through an agency and one through an attorney. The last one, through the attorney was all done properly and legally but the birth mother came back to him and said she wanted to visit her child.

He told her we had moved away and he lost track of us. this was 40 years ago and she made no attempt to find us. He didn't tell me for several years and I was thankful that I didn't know because I would have been worried that she would show up on our doorstep one day. This was back in the day before open adoptions.

[Chickensoup]

I have four adopted at birth children.

The baby is not yours until it is legally yours. It is not legally yours until all rights are signed off.

[moovova]

“He needs to move on...”

You would abandon your child?

[Behind the Blue Wall]

A mess, but it’s also a good illustration of why abortion is so horrible. If she’d aborted the child against his wishes instead of giving it up for adoption, as she’d apparently originally intended and as millions of others do every year, there’d be no case, nothing to discuss, we’d have never heard of it, but his loss would be a thousand times worse than being deprived of his daughter in his life for 21 months.

[Ditter]

Yes I know. Mine were all adopted at birth. Went to court at 6 months to make it legal. I did not want to have any contact with the birth parents.

[Jedidah]

You fail to take into account that these “bonded parents” are keeping a child from the biological father who wanted her even before she was born, who kept the mother from aborting her, and who has jumped through hoops to get custody and raise her.

Not so sure the little girl is better off with such people. who already have a houseful of kids.

My vote is with Dad.

[Responsibility2nd]

The talking points at the top of the article tell the story....

• Texas couple were experiencing marital trouble when husband took a job out of state leading to the quiet adoption
• Judge has since found birth mother had deceived her husband, the adoption agency and prospective parents
• Adopting couple of six other children given 60 days to give the child back to father
• Adoptive parents say they plan to appeal the judge's decision

It's just a matter of time before the child is placed with his birth father.

OMG.

What a horrible buck-toothed nasty sneer this child stealer has. She should be locked up.

[Responsibility2nd]

I see there were lots of replies to your ignorant post. Here’s mine

And none of them are in support of you. I didn’t check to see if - by now - you backed off that dumb remark. But unless you are stuck on stupid - I’m sure you have.

[Responsibility2nd]

When we adopted our daughter - here in Texas - there were three signatures required to surrender rights.

1. The birth mother.
2. The birth father.
3. The birth mother’s husband who is by law presumed to be the father. (He wasn’t, but he still had rights).

[Chickensoup]

I met ours but no contact info exchanged. Sent letters once a year. Nice women, great kids.