Why not fire the pantie waste?
Er...uh....umm....PANTYWAIST. Mr. Tingles wears ladies’ panties, dontcha know. The fact that in order to get something that fits, he has to buy OLD LADIES’ bloomers in the “Portly” Department shouldn’t be held against him. I think the Brits call them “knickers”. Bwaaa-haaa-ha-ha!