I like these:
Kids with asthma should get a breathalyzer...stutter...not a breathalyzer, an inhalator. (Actually, an inhaler).
The pediatrician can recommend a tonsillectomy even when one isn’t needed, just so he can get the surgical fee.
The diabetes doctor can recommend your leg be cut off even when it isn’t needed, just so he can get the surgical fee.
(Buy a clue. The doctors who diagnose illnesses and suggest treatments are not the ones who get surgical fees...it’s surgical doctors who get the fees.)
On this Memorial Day we honor those fallen heroes...many of whom I see here in this audience...
He’s the C in C and doesn’t even know that MEMORIAL is to honor the DEAD military people!!!!!!! What a POSER!! He’s not even American thinking.