There was a ruler of the world,
Who had a little curl,
Right in the middle of his forehead.
When he was Consul he was very good
When he was Imperator, he was horrid.
Nice! Of course, Caesar was leapyears better than the scumbag thugs who murdered him.
On the Vanity of Earthly Greatness
The tusks which clashed in mighty brawls
Of mastodons, are billiard balls.
The sword of Charlemagne the Just
Is Ferric Oxide, known as rust.
The grizzly bear, whose potent hug,
Was feared by all, is now a rug.
Great Caesar’s bust is on the shelf,
And I don’t feel so well myself.
— Arthur Guiterman