Carbon Footprint Pledge

[FractalMan]

Today I thought of the following pledge as my commitment to helping the environment:

"I pledge to have a smaller actual carbon footprint than Al Gore."

Maybe it is too subtle for the global warming alarmists to understand though.

[Herakles]

The hell with it!

I’m going to burn every gallon gas and anything that produces CO2 I can get my hands on; it’s not like they are making any more dinosaurs and I’m going to get my share while it’s here!

I’ll let the “let’s save the earth” girly men deal with it!

And while I’m at it, I’m going to smoke where I want, drink, eat red meat, carry a gun, put greasy gravy on my fries and not take a bath ( not in that order)just to really show them I don’t give a rat’s ass what they think!

You go to sleep one night and the whole planet turns into a bunch of mind controlling eco pussies!

[ChadGore]

Repeat after me!

I promise to different.

I promise to be unique.

I promise not to repeat things other people say !

[Eagle Eye]

I’ll idle my SUV wastefully in your memory.

[FractalMan]

Actually, you are correct. BTW, anyone who hasn’t read “The Politically Correct Guide to Global Warming” should. It is a complete, reference expose’ showing that the global warming alarmists are a bunch of anti-capitalism, anti-human (except for themselves of course) frauds.

[george76]

al gore likely has several houses...each with a big footprint

Plus the private jets, suvs, limos...

[ModelBreaker]

I pledge to burn precious, irreplaceable fossil fuels every day of the year in my oil burning 4 wheel drive truck. In addition, to celebrate the warm days of summer and to facilitate the trend toward global warming and more temperate winters, I pledge to burn charcoal in my grill and barbeque red meat with a high frequency. Further, I pledge to shoot holes in old refrigerators and rats at the county dump to release freon into the atomosphere and to kill off species I consider pest

So you're going to have a smaller footprint than Al Gore, also. Good job.

[Caramelgal]

Me? Well today I drove my big SUV around town and I was the only passenger BTW. My air conditioner was running in the big SUV while I had my sunroof open because I like the sun but I also like to be cool. And at home while I wasn’t home, my AC was also running. I stopped by my nephew’s baseball game and ate a hot dog grilled on a charcoal grill. I also bummed a cigarette from my nephew’s mom. I enjoyed both the cigarette and the hot dog and my nephew’s team won! Whoo Whoo!

Then I drove my big SUV to the Target to buy some miscellaneous crap that I really didn’t need that will just end up in a land fill next week and then I went to the grocery store where I bought some ground sirloin and toilet paper because; I like red meat from flatulent bovines and unlike Sheryl Crow, I tend to use more than one sheet at a time.

When I got home I turned the thermostat on my air conditioner down because it wasn’t cool enough. Then I turned on both my TV and my computer (so I could Freep and watch TV), ran my dishwasher, started some laundry and went out on my deck and turned on my gas grill so I could grill up some sirloin burgers, opening and closing my sliding glass doors numerous times to flip the burgers and making my AC run harder all because I like to multi-task.

In other words I didn’t do a damn thing today to reduce my carbon foot print.

However when I stopped by my local coffee shop on the way to my nephew’s game this morning (parking out front and leaving the engine running), I ordered a caramel macchiato but I asked for sugar free syrup and skim milk. This is because I want to reduce my “fat and cholesterol foot print” and fit back into my “skinny” jeans. But with the fat and cholesterol “credits” I earned by ordering the sugar free syrup and skim milk, I felt good about asking for whipped cream on my caramel macchiato.

Al Gore’s carbon credits allowed me to drive my SUV, run my AC at max, eat red meat and burn electricity needlessly. And Ms. Crow’s stingy use of TP allowed me to use more than I need and that sugar free syrup and skim milk allowed me to ask for guilt free whip cream topping.

You see, I had a great day and everything evens out and I feel good. Isn’t life grand?

[rockrr]

Whoopee! More for me!

[FractalMan]

You have it right! We should all be very happy with our lives knowing that we can live with the most excess possible and we would still have a smaller carbon footprint than Al.

[mad_as_he$$]

I do hereby solemnly pledge to shove a carbon shaft up ALGORE’s a$$ with my size 13 footprint.

[Kimmers]

Dang, you did have a good day......and good luck getting back into those skinny jeans.

Loved reading your montage about your day LOL....... I was wondering if your smokes were light or regular because I would think there would be a difference in the amount of carbons in the air........

[Elsiejay]

Stop boasting about the size of your equipment. Its unseemly.

[woofer]

Earth First

We'll mine the other eight (or seven) later.