No what it takes is the willingness to ask and lack of fear of getting turned down. But many youth lack those things.
Well, it's a good thing if they do lack a "willingness to ask." I cannot admire a willingness to precipitously degrade the value of the "coin" of female love.
Guys, and even gals, will say "What's love got to to do with it?" And then they are slammed and blindsided when the girl feels that the gift (I used the inadequate word, "coin") of physical intimacy was a BIG downpayment on a longterm process of belonging and attachment, while the guy is ambling off with, "What does she want NOW? Sh**, what does she WANT?"
You end up with women who are deeply distrustful of and/or bitterly angry toward men; and men who are cynical, callous,painfully perplexed, or deeply resentful of women. You end up with people who can't work up to a level of trust again for years, or even decades. People who "aren't ready" to marry until they're almost too old to start a family. And then, a 50% divorce rate.
Why is there so much distrust between men and women? Partly, I think, because as the frequency of (uncommitted) sex goes up, the significance of sex goes down. And women instinctively bank a lot of the signfiicance of sex. They still want it to mean love. And a man who is ruled by his heart and mind (instead of his gonads) will respect that in a woman. Will respect that in ALL women.
And will feel, I think, rather sad about woman who does not respect that in herself.
Does this make sense to any of you guys out there?