Well, it's a good thing if they do lack a "willingness to ask." I cannot admire a willingness to precipitously degrade the value of the "coin" of female love.
Guys, and even gals, will say "What's love got to to do with it?" And then they are slammed and blindsided when the girl feels that the gift (I used the inadequate word, "coin") of physical intimacy was a BIG downpayment on a longterm process of belonging and attachment, while the guy is ambling off with, "What does she want NOW? Sh**, what does she WANT?"
You end up with women who are deeply distrustful of and/or bitterly angry toward men; and men who are cynical, callous,painfully perplexed, or deeply resentful of women. You end up with people who can't work up to a level of trust again for years, or even decades. People who "aren't ready" to marry until they're almost too old to start a family. And then, a 50% divorce rate.
Why is there so much distrust between men and women? Partly, I think, because as the frequency of (uncommitted) sex goes up, the significance of sex goes down. And women instinctively bank a lot of the signfiicance of sex. They still want it to mean love. And a man who is ruled by his heart and mind (instead of his gonads) will respect that in a woman. Will respect that in ALL women.
And will feel, I think, rather sad about woman who does not respect that in herself.
Does this make sense to any of you guys out there?
Learning and experiencing and including sex in your search for miss or mister right isn't necessarily devaluing anything. It is for some, but that's not everybody.
Anybody that gets into the sack with anybody else with a different set of long term desires is a moron and gets what they deserve. If a girl is looking for something long term they shouldn't be getting involved with guys that are looking for short term. Unfortunately a far too common trait among women seems to be the idea that they'll change the guy they're with. Bad idea, it never works and what's the point anyway, why go for a guy you want to change when just around the corner is probably a guy that's what you want to change this one into.
I don't think there is much distrust between men and women. The ones I see that are distrustful are the ones regularly getting into the wrong relationships with the wrong people, that's their problem and they need to fix it. I've had far too many female friends say to me "I don't know why all the guys I date turn into assholes" and they're never willing to listen to the obvious answer: "because all the guys you date are assholes before you meet them, and apparently you find that attractive."