[College Repub]

Brian: Hola! Um...me, me llamo es Brian. Ahh, uh, um lets see, uh, nosotros queremos ir con ustedes.

Mexican: Hey, that was pretty good! But actually when you said, "Me llamo es Brian," you don't need the "es." Just, "Me llamo Brian."

Brian{relieved}: Oh, you speak English!

Mexican: No, just that first speech and this one explaining it.

Brian{confused}: You...you're kidding right?

Mexican: Que?

[Texas Federalist]

From an NRA Commercial:

"Guns don't kill people. Dangerous minorities do."

[Grando Calrissian]

Lois: You should spend some time with our kids, Peter. And with me.

Peter: Uh, what could me and you do together?

Lois: (giggles)

Peter: Lois! You've got a sick mind!

Lois: Peter, I'm talking about making love.

Peter: Oh! I thought you wanted us to murder the children and harvest their organs for beer money.