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One of my many problems with the faith or Faith (whichever mode I happen to be in) is that Catholic heaven doesn't sound very happy to me. This that you posted sounds pretty good generally, but being totally conformed to God's will, it doesn't sound like we'll have any freedom (not to do evil) and will have to do everything robotlike. That's the impression I get.

With some of the naturalistic ideas of protestant heaven, of perfect happiness with family and loved ones in beautiful surroundings (I'm not sure where Jesus and angels and saints fit in here), there are aspects of this sort of heaven that are more appealing.

I'm not meaning to be contentious; it's a real problem I have had trying to convert from protestant ideas of heaven to catholic ideas of heaven.

To make matters really agonizing for me, all my family members and almost all my ancestors for generations were not catholic. Mostly they were very decent people, but my parents died in what catholics would consider mortal sin. Loving my parents dearly and knowing they were better parents than many catholics would have been, I'm very torn over this.

Since I can't resolve these and other difficulties, I don't like to think about religion much any more and it does not comfort me like it does others. Actually it terrorizes me, fearing what may await me and my loved ones in the next life. I don't know any other souls who struggle with these things. Catholics seem very laid back about their place in heaven and protestants, no matter how combative, are assured of their salvation.

It leaves me feeling resentful of people who take their faith and assurance of a good place in the afterlife as a given. They may have worries but that doesn't seem to be one of them.

1Cor.15
[42] So also is the resurrection of the dead. It is sown in corruption; it is raised in incorruption:
[43] It is sown in dishonour; it is raised in glory: it is sown in weakness; it is raised in power:
[44] It is sown a natural body; it is raised a spiritual body. There is a natural body, and there is a spiritual body.
[45] And so it is written, The first man Adam was made a living soul; the last Adam was made a quickening spirit.

I understand that there will be a spiritual body but not a physical one. Does this agree or disagree with the writter? He speaks of a glorious body. Is that the same as spiritual body?