Posted on 06/08/2019 2:36:29 PM PDT by Gamecock
CAPERNAUM, ISRAEL—Several prominent organizations offering tours of the Holy Land announced Monday they would now be including Jesus of Nazareth’s 8,000-square-foot lake house on the shores of the Sea of Galilee in their premier tour packages.
According to historians, Jesus purchased the lake house with proceeds from his second major book deal, coupled with the hefty salary he pulled for his pastoral work.
Local man Henry Armstrong told reporters Monday he was really looking forward to visiting the sprawling mansion, as he would get a great idea of how Jesus spent his months-long sabbaticals throughout the year.
“Only 4,000 square feet of the house had heated floors, because Jesus was a humble guy and didn’t want to come off as too showy or materialistic,” the tourist said excitedly as he flipped through a brochure and looked out at the Savior’s custom-built pool deck through a third-story window. “Hey, honey, come check out Jesus’s home theater! This thing is sick!”
The tours will also include a stop at the Lord’s private airport.
Would that include a jet plane hangar for three jets and a 10,000 seat mega church?
Note there is no dock. None needed.
What ever...
It more fun if you don’t put the “satire” label on Babylon Bee.
Then we get to read a line or two, the light bulb goes on and get a few chuckles.
Bee nails cultural and political hypocrisy.
I didn’t open the whole article and there’s so many folks this could be poking fun at.
At first I assumed it was Bernie Sanders but I guess it’s that crazy televangelist guy.
When he lost one of his jets to a large sandstorm, Jesus said “father why hath thou forsaken me”
I hear he got rich off a chain of bakeries and fish and chips joints, because he has such low overhead.
Nailed it.
And as crazy as these days are, it’s really hard to differentiate satire from reality.
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