Posted on 12/17/2016 12:51:26 PM PST by A Formerly Proud Canadian
A vanity thread of Christmas (yes, 'CHRISTMAS' rather than 'holiday') jokes and humour. I ask Mr. Robinson's indulgence for this 'vanity' posting, adding some humour to a stressful time. Please add your humorous comments. (And BTW 'humour' is spelled properly, using the Queen's English. 😁. I am a Canadian and a Monarchist, after all and, the intelligence of our Monarch easily exceeds that of our Prime Minister Haji Justin Turd-owe .)
Because they could not find three wise men and a Virgin!
Drain the swamp, Mr. Trump! THAT is a gift the US needs.
Why Eggs Benedict on a hubcap on CHRISTmas?
‘Cause there’s no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise.
Bath Time For Jesus
Wow, I would say, consider this stolen ....
For later.
Love it!
Answer: "Because the toys all came assembled with batteries included."
later
I read this one in a newspaper at Christmas time, 1965:
An American businessman on a visit to the Soviet Union with his wife was assigned a “tour guide” from Intourist, the Soviet tourist agency, who would serve as his “minder.” The “guide,” a hard-core Communist named Rudolph, was soon arguing almost constantly with the American over politics, economics, and so on.
One day, as they were on a bus leaving Moscow, precipitation began. The American insisted that it was snowing, but Rudolph responded that it was raining. Tired of hearing them bicker, the American’s wife told him, “Rudolph the red knows rain, dear.”
Ok, here's a non-Christmas bonus:
Q: How are an apple and a I.R.S. agent alike?
A: They both look good hanging from a tree.
Why I drive a Honda: Because it is the same car the Apostles drove. In Acts it reads that they were all in one Accord.
Ah, but King David was a Biker, roaring his Triumph into Jerusalem!
LOL
How do you know when Santa’s in the room?
You can sense his presents.
Why is Santa so Jolly?
He knows where all the bad girls live.
What’s a dinosaur’s least favorite reindeer?
Comet.
A really old one:
A Sunday School class is drawing pictures of the Nativity scene, and the teacher notices a prominent, and very rotund, figure in one composition. She asks, “Who’s that?” and the kid replies, “That’s Round John Virgin.”
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