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6 pitfalls that trick you into thinking you don't love your spouse
Jewish World Review ^ | August 12, 2015 | Erika Strassburger Borba

Posted on 08/13/2015 9:27:31 PM PDT by imardmd1

Marriage can be a long and difficult journey, full of obstacles trying to keep you from being happy
in your relationship. But don't be discouraged or distracted. If you want to keep your marriage and family together,
learn to recognize and avoid these six pitfalls:

< excerpted questions: >

1. Your heartbeat speeds up but not because of your spouse.
2. Your spouse is a little worse for wear.
3. Someone else is a more preferable option. 4. You deserve better.
5. There is no physical romance.
6. The honeymoon stage is over.

< snip >

We are constantly told how divorce and infidelity are a part of life and sometimes necessary for
happiness.

This is not true.

Nothing compares to the security and joy found in a loyal relationship. Perfect relationships don't exist,
no matter whom you are with. Decide now to talk with your partner about the problems you will run into
in your marriage, and promise to give your all to make your marriage a happy one.

Next time a little voice tries to convince you giving into one of these pitfalls is not so bad after all,
say loud and clear: "I am in charge of my relationship. I love my spouse. I am in charge of my own happiness, and no one will change that."

(Excerpt) Read more at jewishworldreview.com ...


TOPICS: General Discusssion; Moral Issues; Religion & Culture
KEYWORDS: doingright; loyalty; marriage; renewal
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Sometimes the lifelong cost of disloyalty to your spouse is just too much for the family to pay.
Actions arise from Beliefs, and they have Consequences.
ABCs, get it?

(been there, done that; once was enough)

1 posted on 08/13/2015 9:27:31 PM PDT by imardmd1
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To: imardmd1

I’ve been married for 43 years as of yesterday, wouldn’t change a thing.


2 posted on 08/13/2015 9:37:58 PM PDT by brivette
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To: imardmd1

You can’t put it on anyone else to be responsible for your happiness. You can be unhappy with HOW someone treats you.

I have always been amazed that people having problems with their spouse/other ever conclude that the solution to that is yet another person. With their own quirks, flaws and imperfections that will also probably get to them in a matter of time.

If it truly is stuff you can’t put up with, either have a hard heart to heart and try to work on stuff to make life better for both, or just pack it in and for God’s sake, stay solo from that point on.


3 posted on 08/13/2015 9:43:44 PM PDT by Secret Agent Man (Gone Galt; Not averse to Going Bronson.)
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To: imardmd1

“ABCs, get it?”

When I was in sales, we call it Always Be Closing.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8kZg_ALxEz0


4 posted on 08/13/2015 9:44:33 PM PDT by max americana (fired liberals in our company last election, and I laughed while they cried (true story))
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To: brivette

congratulations! what an amazing accomplishment and journey :-)

hubby and I have been married for 25 so far, but since time is flying so fast lately, I am sure we are catching up to you very quickly!


5 posted on 08/13/2015 9:47:28 PM PDT by Tamzee (Man is not free unless government is limited. ~~~ Ronald Reagan)
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To: brivette
I’ve been married for 43 years as of yesterday, wouldn’t change a thing.

You and your mate have been married for 43 years, eh?

Some people have been married for 40 or 50 years -- just not to the same wives or husbands --

But may God continue to bless you-all's faithfulness to each other exclusively.

6 posted on 08/13/2015 9:48:16 PM PDT by imardmd1 (Fiat Lux)
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To: imardmd1

A wedding ring is nothing but a vicious circle.


7 posted on 08/13/2015 9:51:20 PM PDT by umgud
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To: brivette

Coming up on 30 years myself.
The trick to me is remember the little stuff. We still say please and Thank you to each other. We tell each other “I love you” everyday. We don’t buy each other gifts for Christmas, Valentines, Anniversary, instead we do, or buy something we both want. The Hollywood/TV myth that if you don’t run out and buy your wife a new diamond every week she’ll hate you, is BS.
Maybe I got lucky. She likes NFL Football, and NASCAR. To make sure I was being fair, she “talked me into” watching “So you think you can dance” this season. I hate it but it’s something she loves, soooo.
Both sides pitch in both sides win.


8 posted on 08/13/2015 9:55:16 PM PDT by rikkir (You can lead a horde to knowledge but you can't make them think. (TnkU ctdonath2))
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To: brivette

Congratulations!.

That is quite an accomplishment these days. I feel like a youngster—my wife and I will hit 30 this December. God bless you.


9 posted on 08/13/2015 9:57:41 PM PDT by antidisestablishment (I was mad when they changed Republican states to Red, but I now I see they were right.)
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To: imardmd1

She calls you names

Hides stuff

Cheats on you

Yeah, it’s over in a heartbeat and I’ll burn your broom factory to the ground...


10 posted on 08/13/2015 10:06:37 PM PDT by Vendome (Don't take life so seriously-you won't live through it anyway-Enjoy Yourself ala Louis Prima)
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To: rikkir
We don’t buy each other gifts for Christmas, Valentines, Anniversary, instead we do, or buy something we both want.

What a good idea.

11 posted on 08/13/2015 10:09:16 PM PDT by donna (Pray for Revival.)
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To: donna

It only made sense for us.
She keeps the books. I could never buy her anything that was a surprise unless I squirreled money away. I didn’t like doing that, and she always caught me anyway.
So we came up with that agreement about our 4th year together.

I did get to surprise her one time. Back in 95 I got an unexpected check from my Grandmothers estate. I bought us Cruise tickets, and went to the mall got a stuffed monkey, put sunglasses, and a hat on him, put the cruise and airline tickets in his arms, and had him wrapped. When I gave her the package it was for no apparent reason.
I thought she was gonna pass out.


12 posted on 08/13/2015 10:23:20 PM PDT by rikkir (You can lead a horde to knowledge but you can't make them think. (TnkU ctdonath2))
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To: donna

I had a boss who was very wealthy and said that he and his wife put a limit on what they could spend for presents for each other. The limit was either $5. It forced them to be creative.


13 posted on 08/13/2015 10:33:27 PM PDT by tenger (Obama will do what he wants because who's gonna stop him?)
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To: brivette

Good for you!...wish you all the best!

I made it 27...momma always got what she wanted....happy wife happy life.....then she decided she wanted a boyfriend...I said no....so now I’m single again...


14 posted on 08/13/2015 10:36:10 PM PDT by Crim (Palin / West '16)
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To: tenger

That is really sweet....did similar since we spent too much on the kids anyways....I used to cruise antique shops for jewelry sets in the off season just to find a nice set for Christmass


15 posted on 08/13/2015 10:40:58 PM PDT by Crim (Palin / West '16)
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To: imardmd1

OK, I only thought it was not love if they tried to stab, poison you, attempted to cut off your penis, kick you in no man’s land, spend all your savings and max out the credit cards.

I was wrong?

Not watching Wendy Williams any more, or the Kelly files.


16 posted on 08/13/2015 11:00:42 PM PDT by A CA Guy ( God Bless America, God Bless and keep safe our fighting men and women.)
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To: All

27 years through terrible difficulties and our love is still strong. Thank you Jesus!


17 posted on 08/14/2015 2:51:35 AM PDT by tjd1454
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To: tjd1454

35 years here and still discovering each other. the difficult times give us each a chance to grow - through certain things he may get to fall apart a little, and I’ll be the strong one. other times he is my rock.

There is a difference between men and women no matter how much millennials want gender neutrality. women used to be considered precious and someone to be ‘wooed’. now? a booty call.

I do not want to be equal - why should I step down from my pedestal???

compromise, compromise, compromise. the first question is always ‘how important is this to ME?’ most of the time, the answer is ‘meh’ so why not be generous?

only problem I have with this article is the biggest challenge - marrying the right person in the FIRST place. today’s youth have absolutely NO patience and have the attention spans of gnats.

If you don’t marry a friend, you will be miserable.


18 posted on 08/14/2015 3:56:46 AM PDT by oldmomster
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To: rikkir

Granddaughter asked us recently why we were acting like we just met each other (we were doing the please and thank you thing around the dinner dishes). It was a little sad, because she had obviously never seen that in her now-divorced parents or her grandparents on her mom’s side of the family.


19 posted on 08/14/2015 4:09:26 AM PDT by Quality_Not_Quantity (Liars use facts when the truth doesn't suit their purposes.)
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To: brivette

29 here, ups and downs but we have great 17 yr old twin boys and a good life.


20 posted on 08/14/2015 4:50:39 AM PDT by traderrob6
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