I am an usher in my Catholic church.
Stand-and-greet is a formal part of the Mass, just before the final part of the Eucharistic Prayer is said. So I guess it’s impossible to come to a Catholic church if you’re not comfortable with that.
A lady who attends our church confided in me why she quit attending another one several miles away. She has several health problems and is struggling financially. When they passed the basket she had nothing to put in. The usher gave her a dirty look. And then some child sitting behind her said “Did you see that, Daddy? That lady did not put any money in the basket.” When they passed it again the father chimed in with some comment like “Yes, Junior, I see the cheapskate”.
Obviously humiliated, she never went back.
I’ve had people be mean but never like that. It’s none of their business what she gives or does not give in the collection plate. It’s between her and God.
Our church went on a visit to an AME Church. The basket came by and I was about to put a $20 bill in it. The elderly Black women next to me whispered to me:
"Don't put it all in at once dear, it'll be coming around a few more times."
I then pulled out a fiver and she said: "That's better."
Next time you run into that you should suggest a Widow’s Mite which was actually the smallest coin at the time. Encourage the next person to drop in a few pennies.
Reminds me of another incident when I was an usher at my Catholic church...family came in and sat down before Mass, young teenage boy had a baseball hat on...I went up to him, ‘Uh, son, could you please remove your cap, we’re in church’...he looked right at me and said ‘F*u*c*k You’!
The proper response to that is turn around, say 'I may be poor, but you are an *******" and walk out at that point.
***Obviously humiliated, she never went back.***
Often people will give in private or when they are in the Sunday School class.
Mark Twain told a joke in THE LIBRARY OF WIT AND HUMOR in which a NEGRO BARBER tells why he does not go to church any more. It is a long joke so to cut to the chase it goes like this.
When business was good he gave lots of money to the church, and they called him “Brother Brown”.
Then his kids got sick and he could not give as much because of doctor bills, they then called him “Mr Brown”.
When his wife came down sick, and the barber himself got sick he could not give any to the church so the people said...”Dere goes dat old nigger Brown!” So he quit them.
I am Catholic as well.
It is not impossible to go to a Catholic church if you are uncomfortable with the sign of peace. You have a couple of options. 1. go to a traditional latin mass 2. instead of handshaking, smile, nod and say peace be with you, there is no rule you must engage in a handshake. Please do not discourage people from attending mass.
Shame on the parishioners in her former church. I wonder if before she left she discussed her feelings with the parish priest. We are such a disposable society, rather than address a problem in our own community (here a parish) we just move on to the next. Her old priest might have liked to know the sentiments of his parishioners, especially those who themselves were most likely not tithing.
Stand and greet may be a formal part of the Mass, but it’s not a mandatory part of the Mass. There was no such thing prior to the Vatican counsel that dramatically changed the Church in the late 60s (and not for the better, I’d say).
I know people who’ve left because of it (and related things like language changes, etc.) and those who still attend but who just hate that part of the Mass. Maybe they should publish “Stand and Greet” Mass at 10:30am; “No Stand and Greet” Mass at 11, like they differentiate the English/Spanish Masses.
The first time I went to my church, I didn’t realize they never took up a collection until after the service was over. As I was leaving, I noticed a jar by the door with a hand written sign, “Offering” taped on it. No one mentioned it, and no one seemed to be watching it. Very humble and inspiring.
At the time, I was struggling just to make rent; as a church "newbie", I didn't think what I put in the offering was a priority at that point.
However, a church leader went out of her way to hand me an envelope. Quite embarrassed, I had 26 cents in my pocket, and surreptitiously slipped it into the envelope, sealed it, and handed it back to her.
She promptly asked how much I put in.
I never went back.
While no one should comment or give dirty looks when people put nothing in church collection baskets, I do think this woman sounds lame for not throwing some change in the basket.
I visited a Jehovah’s Witness “Kingdom Hall”. They don’t do “meet and greet”, they don’t pass the plate, the place was spotless
Obviously I did not become one of them but they had a lot of good points. (not their theology)